"Dust Bunny Care Guide" by Jess Kachine Hickman

The Beginners Guide to Keeping a Dust Bunny

So you’ve decided to get a pet. A dust bunny is an excellent first pet as it is very simple to care for, costs nothing, and has along life span. Tame dust bunnies are extremely hard to find though. The easiest way to obtain one is to capture it from its natural habitat, under a sofa or chair. The timid creature may run if you move too fast or breath too hard, so you must be slow and quiet. Wild dust bunnies are also one of nature’s most delicate creatures. They can easily be hurt, or even killed, by a rough hand. Be gentle!

Once you’ve managed to catch a wild dust bunny, you must find a suitable cage for it. An old cage with a smooth, flat bottom is best to start with. If you don’t have one, a cardboard box or even an old fish tank will be fine.

Taming your dust bunny is simple and is a remarkably fast process. Simply choose a name for your pet, Dusty for example, and very gently stroke it. If the dust bunny flees, move slower. If it appears to be falling apart, you’ve stroked too hard and scared it. Allow a scared bunny to rest alone for an hour or so. If the dust bunny simply stays put, or even better, rolls toward you, congratulations. You have tamed your dust bunny.

By this time, your dust bunny is probably going to be hungry. Food can be easily found for your pet. Dust bunnies love dust, soft fine dirt, pocket lint, and short pieces of hair. To feed your new pet, simply sprinkle a mix of these on the cage floor. The dust bunny will eat as it rolls around playing. Never give your dust bunny water. NEVER! Dust bunnies are severely allergic to water and will melt or dissolve if they come in contact with it. Some, but not many, survive, limping around and eating more to help replace their damaged parts, but most will die. So remember, no water, ever.

Cleaning up after your dust bunny is simple. You don’t have to. Once a week, you may want to clean the cage to remove old food and shed bunny dust, but it isn’t necessary. The old food and shed dust will be consumed eventually.

Dust bunnies require no exercise. There is no need for you to attempt to leash train your bunny. In fact, it’s a bad idea as it may frighten your bunny and cause it to fall apart. Your dust bunny will get all the exercise it needs by rolling around in its cage. You can let your dust bunny out once in a while to give it a larger area to play in. Hardwood floors are the best for bunnies since carpets tend to pull dust off them. When allowing your dust bunny to play on the floor, make sure there are no open spaces it could become caught in, such as furnace vents, slightly opened doors, etc.. Also be sure the floor is dry. Remember about the water! The cleanness of the floor doesn’t matter. Your dust bunny will enjoy finding exotic treats as it plays.

Entertaining your dust bunny is very simple. As long as its cage or box or tank is placed in a draft, the bunny will be happy. Dust bunnies love to play in a breeze, warm, cold, or otherwise. It is very good for their health. In fact, a dust bunny not placed in a draft tends to be less playful and eats much less. When allowed out of their cage, they will continue to trundle along with the drafts. A strong gust, such as from a furnace vent or a fan, can be harmful to your pet, so be careful with them. Dust bunnies will also enjoy a game of Catch the String. In fact, it’s the only game they will play, other then hide and seek when let out of their cage. To play, dangle a string in your dust bunny’s path. The bunny will attempt to catch the end. In the event that your bunny does catch it, don’t pull the string away too hard. You may accidentally harm your pet. When played correctly and safely, this game can bring hours of fun to you and your bunny.

A dust bunny can outlive its human owner if cared for properly. As it ages, the dust bunny will continue to grow in size. Most wild dust bunnies never live long enough to become more then an inch in diameter. A tamed dust bunny, however, can grow huge. There is a limit to the safe size of your bunny though. Once past six inches in diameter, a dust bunny may grow lazy and stop playing and eating. To encourage your larger dust bunny to play, place it in a stronger draft. This should remedy the problem. Once a bunny has exceeded three inches in diameter, it is no longer a simple dust bunny. It is now a Killer Dust Bunny. Your pet will still be the same affectionate and loving bunny you captured and tamed, but now its sheer size is an excellent deterrent for salesmen, in-laws, and other unwanted guests. Once they have seen how large your dust bunnies grow, they will more likely then not find an excuse to leave. Once your beloved pet reaches this size, feel free to hand a sigh stating "Beware Killer Dust Bunny!" outside your home.

Tamed dust bunnies do not crave companionship even though large groups can be found together in the wild. As long as you feed your bunny once a week, it will be happy and loving. You may tame another bunny so your first can have a friend if you wish. If you do, just be sure the bunnies are about the same size. Two bunnies of vastly different sizes may quarrel if put in the same cage. If they do, the smaller of the two may be destroyed and consumed by the larger.

That is pretty much all there is to know about keeping a dust bunny as a pet. Use this basic guide as a reference and you can have a loving, yet easy to care for friend for life!