SciFi and Fantasy Art: Please Don't Go

Two years ago, March 28 2006, two of my friends were in a car crash. One died instantly and the other died after several weeks in a coma. After coming to terms with the shock of it all, I finally painted my feelings in the original version of this painting: http://adalelle.deviantart.com/art/Please-Don-t-38588465

"Loss is one of the hardest things to deal with. People say it, but you don't know it until it happens. You think you're prepared, but it just shakes your world. I started this painting a few months after my best friend died. Shortly after, a good friend's dad died. I've lost several people to death, and almost died myself. Many close friends are now scattered around the country. I have since made two international moves. Since then, this painting has taken on many more meanings. It represents that feeling, that after people who are close to you die, they stay with you. This painting is for those I've lost"

Two years later the feeling hasn't changed. It still hurts, it's still sad, but i guess I don't feel it as much. It is no longer immediate and overwhelming, I just don't think of it as much. Yet there are days when I dream with my friends, having adventures with them and then I wake up, feeling deeply sad that it was just a cruel trick of the mind. I don't think I'll ever really accept that they're gone.

Rest In Peace Josh Mooney. Rest in Peace Steve Lentine.

[Edit] Thank you for all the kind words. I now have a close relationship with my friend's parents, and cherish the gift he has given me by allowing for that bond.