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'The Fay at Brightwater Cascades'


 
 

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Click For MoreDocument 4 out of 10 by David Michael.

SciFi and Fantasy Stories: The Fay at Brightwater Cascades

This is a labor of love, and a story that perhaps reflects just what a labor love is. It is not a perfect poem, though I think there is much to recommend it, but I would really like for it to become as close to perfect as possible. So constructive criticism is greatly encouraged; aye, even hoped for. Just be aware that the breakup of rhyme and rhythm in the latter half is intentional. Think of the theme of the story and it'll make sense.

One more thing: Don't cry...


    Main Category: [High Fantasy]
    Sub-categories: [Fairy, Fay, Faeries] [Romance, Emotion] [Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc] [Mermaids, Leviathans, Underwater Creatures]

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Twice upon a time I found her
dancing under the waterfall,
catching the mists like jewels in her hair -
her swinging, scarlet, flower-scented hair -
as she waltzed with a prince of aquatic air,
and sighed at the clouds and the moon.

First night, I peered through the glistening leaves
and wondered at the song she sang.
Amber it was, and burnished with gold;
flowing like honey, as the North Wind cold.
It bid me hearken to her story unfold
and I found that I wanted to stay.

Listening long availed me not;
her song was drawn from ancient tongues.
Yet see I did the tear that fell
from her bluejay eyes like a crystal bell.
And of a sudden I rose with a foolish yell
with a hand outstretched for to help.

Whirling like a jeweled flame, she
flipped my heart with a startled glance.
Splashed through the pond and into the trees;
worried, she watched from a branch on her knees
as I stood heartbroken and begged her, "Please
don't leave, I don't think I could find you again."

Surely I heard the waterfall purr,
lest truly it came from that beauty above.
She smiled, laughed like a deep-flowing brook;
said not to worry, she liked how I looked.
She'd followed me often on the paths I'd took
as I'd wandered far through Faery Realm.

We talked not long 'til blushing, both,
we waltzed beneath the waterfall -
she smelled like blossoms and roses in spring!
Her steps were strong as they made her dress swing,
while her eyes let me know that I'd rescued a queen -
'til the dawn when she left with a kiss.

Evening saw me return to the pond,
where I waited with sighs at the stars and the trees,
while the shimmering sparkle on the cascade's sheets
rose and fell with the course of the moon.
In silence the daystar, awash with wine,
peaked over the mountains, but alone I remained.

I waited the next day, and on for a week,
but never she came in the gloaming or light.
My dreams cast out nets each lonesome night
for her nuzzling nose and silken red sigh.
I searched for the dance, for the rhythm of her love,
but it slipped, like the wind, from my grasp.

Being a traveler, that's what I did,
through all the green corners of Faery Realm,
'til over the mountains I reached the sea,
where mermaids play with the otters so free
and bat their eyes at men like me
as they toss their hair flirtatiously;
oh, their blue hair and eyes, and their silvery skin!
But it wasn't the same, so I turned inland.
Four times came autumn and the owls' call
'til again I stood by the waterfall.

Its glassy sheets still fell rock to rock;
dancing,
plish-plashing
so gaily to mock
my face with its laugh lines
forgotten and pale.
Joy without her seemed a faint-heart betrayal.
So I sat by a tree with my pack and my staff
and sighed at the clouds and the moon.

First a giggle, and then the scent
of apples and rose petals floating in wine.
Turned, but too late! The minx had pounced.
'Round my neck wrapped her arms as she prettily flounced
down beside me and kissed me with love that trounced
all the melancholy out of my heart.

Once, at last, I kissed her back
while we danced beneath the waterfall.
Shining above was the pearl white moon
and round us we heard the glade-crickets croon
as the fireflies flitted across the lagoon;
and wordless we spoke with our eyes.

When on the bank we rested dry,
fingers playing in each other's hair,
she asked me if I wanted to stay
and make my home in the forests of Fae,
where, together, our love would grow by the day
and we'd each belong to the other.

Sick all a sudden, I sat up straight
and cursed what lay in my cartographer's bag.
A royal decree had fast-bound my fate
to map all of Faery for five years straight,
And now I was done, so couldn't she wait?
For I had to return to my King!

"Go?" Her eyes could scarce have been
less sad than rain on an empty beach.
They welled with the hurt of so many loves gone
that up rose a wall 'round her heart tall and strong
to keep her from ever becoming Love's pawn,
to keep her from being betrayed.

See, no magic fay could ever that long
hold passion back, lest she be consumed.
When, dancing, a fay finds love's first delight,
her heart takes flight to such a grand height
that if it cannot alight on her lover forthright,
she must swiftly find another!

Now every time I smell the night
I think of her dance by the waterfall.
I smell it so often, as now I trudge
through rolling leagues to my King and my judge.
My honor is true, but my heart oh! it aches
for the one who for love was unable to wait.

Her footsteps I chased through forest and glen
'til her track finally vanished from under the moon.
Autumn blazed color on forest and dell,
but though the leaves danced my own heart fell,
so fast-wrapped in winter it was.

When spring came bubbling back through the fens
and waved in meadow-valleys pungent and sweet,
I writhed at all the sunny thaws and mirth,
that, so inconsiderate of my dearth,
sang loudly of love for all, for all,
sang loudly of love for all.

As by me each day and each week softly roll,
I tear all the flowers from the garden of my soul.

This note I found as the morning dew dripped;
in my pack that night it had been slipped:
"A human you, a dryad me!
I should have known it could not be."

I grudge her nothing for the time we had
or for the delicacy of her love.
But the honey of her voice lies encased in my heart,
so thumping and hot, so tight and so sad,
and so bitter and hard to think of.

When e'er now a waterfall throbs in my ear
or the gray wind ruffles grass like her hair,
I think that just maybe, perhaps, I should go
and return to Faery some day on my own.
My royal service has not long to go.
My heart, though still hurt, is not dead nor stone cold.

I look at my stride: yes yes, it is long!
I look at my staff: yes yes, it is strong!
I look at my King, with his blessing in mind,
and I leave this time with a love not blind.

 
 

©David Michael. All rights reserved!

DateNameComment 
13 Aug 2007:-) Désirée Ruth Dippenaar
Great poem! It is sad, but I like sad poetry~ ^^ The rhyme scheme is interesting, how it changes at times - almost mirroring the movement of a waterfall, which does flow irregularly. You also used really good descriptive words. I liked this! ^^

:-) David Michael replies: "Actually, I hadn't thought of it mirroring the waterfall! That's a great observation, so shhh! don't tell anyone I didn't think of it. ')"
5 Sep 200745 L. Shanra Kuepers
Amber it was, and burnished with gold; That's exactly what the voice sounded like.

all the melancholy out of my heart. I intended the accent on the first syllable, followed by three short syllables. I'll consider streamlining it, though.

ye yes Doh! Repetition of yes, yes. {scrunches nose} Boy that's weird to write. Anyway, yeah, hehe, thanks for catching that one.

Having said that, first, I'd like to echo the first commentor's question. Why does it have to be anyone's fault? That was beautiful. Utterly beautiful. I really liked how the differences in rhyme worked together. I liked the beginning verses most, though. The fact that the last line didn't rhyme with the three previous was a little awkward and jolting, but in the good way. I thought it rather fit the scenes described. Well, the emotions I'd imagine are there anyway. ^-^ *flounders* Ah, I hope that's clear. I find poetry increasingly hard to comment sensibly on. Thank you very much. It seems that most tragedies can be avoided some way, hence the question, though often it is out of our hands. We humans are not always as grown-up as we seem.

I thought it flowed more like dancing, though. Leaf-dancing on the winds that is. ^-^ Gently swaying one way, then another. It's beautiful how the tragedy lies beneath all the beauty (not all that glitters is gold, anyone?) and how, as pointed out, there really is no blame. It's a gorgeous look into life, really, and into love. *flounders more*

I... think that's all I'm good for today. 'pologies.

:-) David Michael replies: "No need to apologize! Just 'cuz this isn't the traditional 2-parter doesn't mean it isn't helpful. +) I like how people are coming up with meanings in the structure other than what I'd intended - because so far they all still fit. The flow of the waterfall, dancing steps...though I definitely had to work at this poem, in a way I was just trying to unearth words that were already there."
27 Sep 200745 Constanza Ehrenhaus (EW artist)
Hey, for some reason, I can't log in.
But anyways. I really liked a lot. I don't think any of them is to blame or not. They just have different interests and they're not willing to yield them to their love, as it usually is the case. Lovely poem, but not being a writer and being a foreign speaker, why do you change the rhyme in the last verse?

:-) David Michael replies: "Glory hallelujah the Extranet is up again...kind of! +DThanks for the compliment. As for the rhyme at the end, well the rhyme changed in a number of places throughout the poem, whenever the man was away from the fae and didn't feel her love. The rhyme doesn't go back to the original scheme because at the end, he is "free" from the heartache of their earlier memories. However, it's not as off-kilter as the troubled stanzas, meaning he's moving forward to seek her out again.Also, the rhyme scheme I started with was just plain hard to keep up! +)"
15 Oct 2007:-) Deborah Cullins-Smith
I love it! It doesn't conform to a set pattern (well... not a hard and fast pattern!) but I love the sentiment you've imbued the verses with. Lovely word-pictures, D.! Good job!

:-) David Michael replies: "Thanks, this one means a lot to me. And it's good to see you back again! You're always welcome here. +)"
23 Oct 2007:-) Michael pixie john
Good thing
is brightwater cascades a waterfall place you know ?
I like your use of words
and the sincerity in them
the story unfolds so well too

:-) David Michael replies: "It is a place I know in my dreams, as well as on the map of my fantasy world. Thanks for commenting, you're always welcome."
10 Nov 2007:-) Rachael A. Tallamy
Wow! I love this. Reminds me of the story I was thinking. 12
Besides that, I can see this so clearly and would love to paint it some day, with your permission.

22 David Michael replies: "With my permis--why, of course! I'd be honored! You're a fantastic artist and I'd love to see how you picture this. Thanks so much for stopping by!"
28 Dec 2007:-) K. ´Karahatay´ Fink
I thought the rhyming was fine. Beautiful imagery. 2

:-) David Michael replies: "Thanks!"
17 Jan 2008:-) Glo 'the Bug' Bowden
*sighs* How lovely! How sad! --No, sad is not the right word. Melancholy; that’s it.

It might be because I’ve been listening to a lot of her beautiful work lately, but I could almost hear the words sung in the wistful voice of Loreena McKennitt. (Yes, I know it’s a man speaking, but that doesn’t seem to stop Celtic artists. For instance, I’ve only once heard ’She Moved Through the Fair’ actually sung by a male.) If I had any sort of skill in writing music, I’d put this to a song, but alas, I know about as much music theory as the half-eaten quiche in front of me. (My choir teacher used to call those of us who only know how to sing, and couldn’t play instruments, "dumb musicians." There’s a lot of irony to that now that I think of it, because a singer could hardly be a mute.) This poem would just be so lovely to sing though. *sighs again* How bittersweet it is.

One question, though. Do they really love each other? They weren’t willing to sacrifice anything for the other...

:-) David Michael replies: "Loreena McKennitt is awesome, and I would be blown away to hear this sung by her. I play piano and do a little amateur composing on the side, but haven’t found anything to fit this...at least not literally where the words act as lyrics. Thank you for giving this compliment, for just to have such a thing suggested is an honor for me."
17 Jan 2008:-) Glo 'the Bug' Bowden
Scratch that last statement. It seems he went searching far and wide for her. And he’s about to do that again. But what about the dryad? She doesn’t seem willing to give anything to him, really. So flippant...

:-) David Michael replies: "Perhaps she gave her heart away too soon. But I did try to justify her a little bit with the stanza about the delicacy of a fay’s love."
24 Jan 2008:-) David Michael
ARGH!!! Commenting on the Extranet is so infuriating right now, it’s not letting me reply completely to comments. So, the second part of my reply to Glo Bowden’s first comment is this:

It’s an important, but difficult question to ask. In the end, I think he really loved her because in spite of his pain, he at least tried to understand her, to give her the benefit of the doubt. And he’s planning on going back, though whether he finds her or not, I have no idea. It is likely that after he became smitten with her, though, he probably ignored the delicacy of faerie hearts that he mentions later. Did she love him? Probably, I think...at least she thought she really did. Granted, for poetic purposes it’s a whirlwind romance of essentially 2 days, but so was Romeo & Juliet. Anyway, it seems at the beginning that her heart had been broken before, and she may have been ashamed for - as she saw it - letting it get broken again.
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