A fairly short poem I did as part of a writing/art project with a friend of mine. I basically wrote it all in under an hour during yearbook class at school and did a little touching up later, so if it seems a bit rough around the edges, that's why.
Electric in the looming sky
From rocky roots it roars on high
The summit-spell, the mountain-dream;
Its golden eyes as daggers gleam-
And emerald like streaming rain
It gazes on the windy plain
Surveying in its august sight
The greens and blues of solar light.
The leap - the plunge - the downward rush
The screaming air - the sudden hush
The calm that falling water brings
The spread of wide, unfolding wings
It harkens to the silent song
Of clouds in flight to stormy throng
That spins above the thunder-crack
And turns the day a raging black.
In shadow now it lifts its head
To see once more the stony bed
And taking flight before the cold
It soars again to warmth and gold
Where firelight may crackle still
In snapping tongues beside the chill-
Above, the lightning scores the deep;
But on the mountain, only sleep.
Me again! Well, at least, I think so... I remember reading some of your stuff but I don't remember commenting. Ah well... my memory is already going. *sigh* I can't believe that you wrote this in one period! I do that sometimes, but I normally only get the basic idea down, nothing more. This is great! You've got the rnyming down pat, and the whole poem just flows! You used very nice imagery as well, very beautiful!
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... *ahem* Don't worry about this being a one period poem! It's wonderful, and I certainly wouldn't have guessed that it was written in one period! Keep it up! ^_^x Brian Buckley replies: "Thanks a lot! I need to do more writing, but I've been busy lately. Poems are fun to write."
I completely agree- this is just one of those things where you wrote it down the first time, and it was great. Don't we all wish that would happen more This poem has great rhythm, and you have what I like to call "mature rhymes," it doesn't feel like your searching for random words that rhyme, but pick ones that actually make sense.
I really like your poetry. I usually don't like to comment unless there's something I feel needs correction, but so far I haven't been able to find anything. You make it very difficult to return favors Anyway, I look forward to coming back and reading more of your work. Brian Buckley replies: "Hey, thanks for coming by and looking at some of my stuff! I'm glad you like the rhyme scheme here - I always try to avoid words that sound forced, as though they were chosen just to fit the rhyme. Anyway I guess I'll have to get going and post some more stuff, eh?</a></i>"
And now i recomment the pendragon cycle by stehpen r lawhead. Although i realize this great poem is about a dragon, dragonflight is used to describe king arthurs closest companians
Excellent... very, very good... and as my friend Caitlyn said... WRITTEN IN ONE PERIOD??? wow... I wrote a 160 line poem in 3 hours... but that was terrible... wish things of mine turned out like this!! *nods* Brian Buckley replies: "Still though... 160 lines? I haven't written a poem that long in my entire life! That's pretty cool!"
*sigh* Man, that was awesome. Of course, I love dragons, be besides that, it was still awesome. I don't have anything constructive to say though. Brian Buckley replies: "I love dragons too. When I write fantasy poems, I have to keep myself from writing about dragons every single time, because that's what my brain wants to do."
I write about dragons all the time. I love dragons. Do not underestimate the dragons!!
"The leap - the plunge - the downward rush The screaming air - the sudden hush"
Just my favorite part. Brian Buckley replies: "Dragons are one of the coolest ideas ever to come out of mythology. I should probably write about them more often... thanks a lot!"
2 Feb 2008
Dalton
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Is this a fantasy writing?
17 May 2008
Anon.
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I would advise changing the title. I feel certain that I’ve read a short story by that title, and well known authors tend to get tempermental whe people use their titles, even unknowingly. I think it was a group of short stories in the Dragonlance saga... could be mistaken on that part though....I remember that it had some sort of animal herder and he made flutes out of the bones of two dead dragons. *I’m not being critical, just trying to let you know... very good for a piece of poetry... the only poet whose poems I normally like to read is Edgar Allen Poe, like "The Raven"
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This poem has great rhythm, and you have what I like to call "mature rhymes," it doesn't feel like your searching for random words that rhyme, but pick ones that actually make sense.
Dalton
