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Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson

"Black Bird Sings" by Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson

SciFi/Fantasy text 16 out of 31 by Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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this is a dream i had. its kind of sttylised i guess. teehee black birds are cool
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←- Long Night Moon | The Nightengale Wings Away -→

Mother of Crows





Cordeillia McFey was a girl who lived with her grandparents. Her skin was paler than ivory and her hair blacker than ebony. Her eyes, so blue they appeared black in some lights. She was a quiet mysterious girl. She and her parents had many secrets. Then, that was a dangerous thing



Her grand parents worried about her. She always longed to fly. The people of her village called her a witch. This worried her grandparents even more. Her father had died, when she was five and, her mother, a witch was burned. The villagers had killed her, And with her, Cordeillia's happy spirit.



So they nurtured her soul with tales of bright happy things. She was taught at home and worked at their farm. They thought she would be all right. They over looked her burning passionate need to fly.



When her chores were done, she would sit and watch the birds wheel and spin in the air. She would often run into the field and sing to the sky. At night she often strayed into the field and neighboring woods to watch the moon. And the stars



Her grandparents worried.



More and more often, they found her out at night. Until they locked her in her room. Although, they could not prevent her from dreaming. Dreaming of black birds, the moon at its fullest, and the glittering, smiling stars.



Her grandparents worried



She became withdrawn and quiet, more so than before. Her normal pale skin became paler and waxy. So they let her into the night once more.



Instead they put more emphasis on the pure good tales they fed her all her life. They introduced her to something new…angels.



This aspect blew her mind. At this time, she was only 14. The thought of a human person with wings to fly was breathtaking. She became obsessed with the concept.



When she plucked chickens, geese, or ducks, for a meal, she saved the feathers. Soon, she had a whole collection. She cut a length of cloth and began sewing. She used twigs for sturdiness. The white feathers covered the material. Soon, she had fashioned makeshift wings, although she needed three more feathers.



She asked her grandmother if chicken was what was being prepared for dinner that night. The answer was no. They were having fish. The wings had taken her a year to complete. She could wait no longer.



She set out into the woods to find the feathers. She searched long and hard, until she stumbled upon a clearing. On a grey stone, she found three feathers, black as ebony. She collected them and started for home.



She sewed the feathers to the wings and put them on.



They fit.



That night, she walked to her favorite spot, a tree over a cliff. She wore the wings. She lifted her face to the wind and said. "Can I fly now?" she jumped from the rocky ledge, waiting for her wings to catch her.



Then she felt it. Feet. Birds feet. 50 black birds flew from the clouds, plucked her from the sky, and cradled her in a blanket of wings.



Cordeillia was never seen again. Except on the eve of august third, when a girl with skin white as ivory, hair black as ebony and eyes so blue they appear black in some lights, can be seen on a cliff side. Her wings are black as pitch. Some say she is the mother of crows.









←- Long Night Moon | The Nightengale Wings Away -→

DateNameComment 
2 Oct 2002:-) RikKI Dunn
I like black birds, they've got to be a favorite...after Ravens, but aren't they black too? Oh well. I really liked this story.
2 Oct 200245 Cari Iniel
Ooh, I like a lot! The story is lovely, and the unfinished feel about the ending is exquisite (gotta love that word!).

Although I can't help but wonder what it is about blackbirds? I've met two or three people now who've had dreams about them (me included).

:-) Holly 'bat baby' Davidson replies: "thank you so much! i always love compliments. with my shorter short stories, i always like to leave thinks kind of foggy. it makes the reader have to use their imagination...thanks again"
21 Aug 2003:-) Camilla 'Motone' Whitney
Again with the ancient legend stuff! That's so cool!

:-) Holly 'bat baby' Davidson replies: "YAY *dances*"
24 Aug 200345 Christy 'Star StormDragon' Pasqualetti
You've got a really simple, straightforward way of writing. I like it. It reminds me of some kind of childs story, or fable or something and again, I want to draw a picture of it...

:-) Holly 'bat baby' Davidson replies: "you want to draw a picture of my story? wow, what an honer. go ahead!"
29 Aug 2003:-) Alice Muffin Girl Smith
~ "Then, that was a dangerous thing***" << Ending punctuation, dear...
~ " The villagers had killed her, ***And*** with her, Cordeillia's happy spirit." << No capitalization there, dear...
~ " And the stars***" << *sigh* What do you have against ending punctuation...? Huh...?
~ "Her grandparents worried***" << *stares at you meaningfully*
~ "At this time, she was only ***14***." << Pet Peeve: people who don't write out numbers. It takes so little effort, and it looks so much more professional and stylish... Here, check it out: "At this time, she was only fourteen." Now doesn't that just look better? *desperate look* Hey, I even wrote it out for you... all you have to do is cut and paste... that's just four key strokes, or two mouse clicks... so little effort... *puppy eyes* What do people have against writing out numbers, anyway...?
~ "***50*** black birds flew from the clouds, plucked her from the sky, and cradled her in a blanket of wings." << *sob* It just looks so tacky, especially in what is supposed to be a dramatic sentence... Completely broke the mood for me... "Fifty black birds flew from the clouds, plucked her from the sky, and cradled her in a blanket of wings." *latches onto your knees* Please change it! Please!!! *cries, and refuses to let go of you till you agree*

I like the longing feel to this, but I'm not so sure that last paragraph was a wise move... You could have simply left that off, and I think this would have felt more complete because of it. A good read, though.

:-) Holly 'bat baby' Davidson replies: "ok i will fix it...*eyes her wearily(i know you spelt that somewhere but i cant spell...u already know that...i suck...)* i will fix it when i edit everything....*sigh*"
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'Black Bird Sings':
 • Created by: :-) Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson
 • Copyright: ©Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Blacbirds, Crows, Moon, Mother
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Celtic
 • Views: 534

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