SciFi and Fantasy Stories: In My Life**

OH.. well. I was expecting it to be the world!! That was an amazing poem.. I'm surprised I haven't read it yet!! Poor Tree.. I feel so badly for it now.. I suppose that's the point?The point is that we are destroying things that have seen so much more than we have. Imagine a 20-something-year-old human (or more, or less... it doesn't matter) destroying something hundreds, even thousands of years old... a living thing. And it's not just limited to trees. We as a people just keep destroying and destroying, and pay no heed to what we are losing. *blinks* Sorry, my rant is done now. That wasn't directed at you, of course... I was just on my soapbox. ^_^ Thanks for reading, Katie! (and I'll get by your shelf soon... I'm just a little swamped at the moment... but I will come!)

I haven't read this yet? o_O Bad Shanra! In any case, I cheated before writing this and read through the comments. I found it was very clear around the last stanza that the narrator was a tree. I'd feel cheated if you added more lines (as one commentor suggested).Eep! How did I miss this comment? Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, dearest.

The abruptness of the ending here really adds to the power of this poem, and I can't help but agree with Joelle. The way you use the senses and come back to this is marvellous. It's a beautiful poem and I greatly enjoyed the narrative twist you gave to this piece. THank you! ^_^

I thought it was about a god, or at least an immortal being too, until I reached the little twist. It's the first time I've read a poem from a tree's point of view, I think, and I loved it very much. It's gorgeous. ^-^ I don't think I've ever read a poem from a tree's p.o.v. either. It came to me when I was walking up in the woods. Atop the hill there are a few gorgeous ancient oaks, and a few probably equally-old hickories. I thought, "My god... i'm so insignificant"

And the only real close I can think of is "thank you for sharing". It sounds so personal. I thank the poor tree for sharing it with you so you could share it with us. There's a sadness to it that lies well below the lines of the poem. Those are the best poems to read. ^-^

This is gorgeous, Brandi! *hugs* Thank you!! I'm honored that such a wonderful poet as yourself loved this so much *blushes profusely* You're wonderful!

Wow. Seems unfair, doesn’t it? To experience so much only to die so quickly and meaninglessly. I too hate it when people cut down those huge, gorgeous trees. Something that has taken centuries to grow deserves a little more respect than we’re unfortunately prone to giving. I agree with Shanra—lots of sadness behind this poem once you stop to think about it.I love trees. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply! Been busy. But that's one good thing about people getting so much info on computers nowadays--less paper being used up. I wouldn't shed many tears if newspapers become altogether obsolete.

That said, I love the last twist. The whole poem leaves the reader open to make his/her own assumptions, and I am among those who assumed the speaker to be a human being. Who else could have the ability to perceive nature so clearly, after all? A tree, of course. Perfectly logical, and perfectly understated while managing to be strikingly clear at the end. I think “axe” and “fell” are the give-away terms, but even they don’t scream “tree.” The words just quietly let the reader figure it out… which makes the realization all the more poignant! Great way of expressing the living nature of trees… definitely a piece to make one think. Really nice work, both poetically and on an intellectual level.

Being my usual helpful/poetically-critical self, here are a few little things I’ve rounded up for you to consider…

“as a streak of light on the edge of my perception.” Beautiful line—flows so smoothly, almost like music… just like poetry should ^_^ ^_^ Thank you. It's one of my favorite lines of this piece. ^_^

“refreshing in their chill perfection.” Another great line! Lovely phrasing! Thanks! I've been in a poetry-writing mood lately, but have had no time to write anything other than essays for class. >.

“I have been warmed by the sun as it shone upon me.” Maybe something a little more detailed here? I guess it would be hard not to be too precise and thereby give away the speaker’s identity, but it just seems somehow too plain to fit with the rest of your lovely images… which there are many of, by the way ^_^ *nods*

“But then came something new.” Hmm… Your tense seems to switch here. If you use “then CAME,” shouldn’t you use “HAD seen/heard/smelled/tasted” in the stanzas preceding this line? The speaker is using present perfect tense throughout the piece, so it should probably remain present tense here (i.e. “But now COMES…”) and henceforth. Actually, changing the last three stanzas over to present tense might allow for quite a striking dramatic effect… if you’re up for such a large structural change (I wouldn’t want you to abandon your vision), you might want to give it a try and see what you think! I'll take a look at it. Thanks for the advice!

On one final note, I must echo those who've commented before me: great concluding stanzas. It’s beautiful how you brought the senses together in the end to describe the tree’s death—and sad. As I said before, it’s tragic to have lived through so much only to die so suddenly! Great piece, Brandi. Thoughtful, vivid, and pleasant to read in that distinctly poetic sense which is always reminiscent of music ^_^Thank you! And I apologize again for taking so long to reply. *hugs*

Stunning, stunning, stunning. All through the poem I was on the lookout for a twist - I thought the speaker might be an ancient building. I was so intent on finding the speaker that I almost missed the effect of the beautiful conclusion! Thank you! I'm glad you liked it ^_^

*sidles in* 'Ullo.

I really liked this. You captured a really tactile sense of the passing of time and the feel of the seasons which suited the ultimate solution.

I admit I was wondering whether it was Death, but I changed my mind at the brambleberries, and decided it must be an oak tree. That's a lovely stanza, moving the focus from the epic to the local.

The end was powerfully chilling. Lovely work.

B. Layne Weaver replies: "Brandi: Wow, this comment has been here for a while, hasn't it? *shuffles sheepishly... better than shuffling sheep, isn't it?*I'm glad you liked it ^_^ thanks for reading!"

such a sensory delight that was, and so poigniant.
"my own sweet blood" first made me suspect, and then I knew who was speaking. Ah trees...It got rejected at first because "just because it's from a tree's p.o.v., it's not fantasy"--so I put the bit about fairies and stuff in there. Odd...because I've seen a story from a fox's p.o.v. and it qualified as fantasy. [shrugs]

well the fox perspective story is specifically not allowed by the rules... guess it slipped in. Still, I love this!
Keenan's song was rejected a long time ago because the mod didn't make the connection I tried to make between it and his story... oddness. still, this is a wonderful poem. I am so glad you got it up! Thank you, love!

I love trees too! There are a few I've seen in passing or on TV here that I'm sure you'd adore!

My one little issue is the word 'fluctuating'... that one threw me. I stopped and thought "Wow, she actually used that?" Just not a word you see every day and in the flow of things was a bit of a rock. But everything else was wonderful!

B. Layne Weaver replies: "HELEN!!!! *glomps* Heheh, I love the word 'fluctuating' ^_^ I'll have to re-read the poem and see the context I used it in. Sadly, the area I live in was clear-cut of trees a couple generations ago, and though it is heavily forested again, the forests are young. No big nifty trees, save for an occasional one that was spared the saw. I'd love to see some big ancient trees. I got this book from the library once, depicting pictures of some remarkable trees--many of them in England. There was a Yew somewhere, whose branches reached all the way back down to the ground, creating a massive bird-cage like effect. The photographer crawled in through the branches and photographed it from the inside. So beautiful! *hugs* Have a good flight back to Japan, me dearie! I'm sorry I'll miss you the next time I'm in Nashville "

This is such a beautiful poem! And all of it characterises a tree so well, somehow the feeling of age and wisdom, but also nature being threatened by humans and axes o.O The repetition of "I have seen / heard / etc many things" was excellent too. And the ending is so sad! But there is no feeling of hate there, maybe reproach, since it seems at the end as though the whole poem is directed to the one who felled the tree.

The imagery and descriptions are great! I hope I’ll have time to read some of your other works sometime soon! ^^

well done