I wrote this poem in seventh grade once during school, very randomly. I fixed it from its original state, of course. I don't usually write much poetry, so this is something RARE.
There was once a princess Paladina
Who lived in the days of old;
Her father was king Gorogglemath
Who sat on a throne of gold.
Then one day she met a peasant boy
While playing with her dragon Gazee.
They fell in love, it was love at first sight,
But an unhappy love it would be.
The king would not allow them to wed,
For a prince she should marry one day.
He banished the boy, sent the girl to her room,
Where she wept for many a day.
As we know many princesses have no brain
And Paladina was one of that kind.
She was crying and moaning and groaning all day
When a bad idea came to her mind.
She ran to the forest to find a good witch,
For in that forest there were many right then.
It was night when she found one in front of a hut,
A witch by the name of Ahem.
Ahem was a mean and an evil old witch;
She loved to cook spiders and frogs.
She liked tricking people, pretending to be nice,
Then turn them into chickens or hogs.
Paladina begged Ahem to help her, oh please!
The witch appeared kind at first.
But when the princess turned to blow her nose
She set on her an evil curse.
The princess turned into a chicken right then,
With feathers a sickening red.
Ahem sent her away to the isle Beregel
Where her boy was, as one now said.
The boy was starving when he saw the fat hen,
So he caught it and cooked it alive.
And that was the end of princess, poor thing,
When she was only twenty-five!
I LOVE this poem!!! hahahhaha...poor stupid princess. Beautiful flow and usage! Hehe, thanks~ Glad you like it.
19 May 2007
L. Shanra Kuepers
Loading...
Now this I know I've read (part of) before. ^-^ Must have been a long time ago. There's a few stanzas that don't fit the rhyming scheme (that's the problem, I think, not the rhythm itself. That's only ruined because the expected rhyme isn't there) and they did jolt me out of it, but meh... It's an old, old piece from the sound of the description, so I'll let them rest unless you specifically ask me for them. There's only one that can be fixed without revamping the whole poem anyway and that could just serve to ruin it. *holds firmly to the belief that poetry should only be subjected to minor touch-ups* Heh, I'm not really good on rhyme words... I might go over this some time again, I usually re-read it once a year and do some touch-ups anyway I've found some already, but yah, they are rather complicated to fix...
Beyond those, I really enjoyed those. It can be quite hard to make end rhyme work (usually ends up sounding forced), but it works here. It's a very cute little piece. Very cheerful and sprightly. Quite fits the humour of the piece. 'twas a very enjoyable little read. Much, much fun to be had in the reading of this. Well-done! (Especially for a poem at written at the age of twelve! ^-^) Thank you! I'm glad you liked it~ This was actually a rare thing for me at that age; the poem before was horrible and the poem after it was totally off-rhythm. Miracles work in strange ways Thanks for reading! ^^
Sweet story, I liked it. Proper old fairy tale. I agree that the rhyming is a little off but with some looking over, this could be very very good indeed.
Well done. You should do more poetry!
Lotsaluv, EmThank you! I'm glad you liked it~ I'll look through the rhyming again once exams are over ^^
you have a cruel, cruel mind! Ehehehe... I know I had SUCH a cruel mind in seventh grade when I wrote this. Frightful! ^^
hahaha just kidding! that's very well written and I enjoyed it very much! I feel bad for the poor princess though. Yes, poor thing... nasty end to a love story. *shakes head*
Poor was she who died so young! *tragic dramatic funeral music* *hands out tissue boxes to passers-by*
About the part of many princesses having no brain, I liked that. But in another story I hope to one day put up here you shall encounter a princess who indeed has a very good head on her shoulders; two in fact! though one is a bit of a, err, hothead, and the other is a bit too... innocent. but other then that they are very clever girls indeed. Ooh, sounds interesting!! Tell me when you put that story up! ^^
God be with you my dear friend! .::*~Pixie Dust*~::. God bless you too~ ^^ I hope your stories are all coming along fine!
The ending was very unexpected, I must say! Poor Paladina, I feel sorry for her even despite the fact that it's claimed she wasn't exactly the brightest one of the lot (the lines that tell us about that are very well written, however Thank you ^^ ). Imagine her terror when her beloved betrayed her so, even if he never knew what he did... D: Good point - that isn't a very good way to end a relationship! o.O I never thought about it that way!
XD I have to say I agree with Kim about the names though, they are quite unusual... Heh, yes. In my poetry I don't plan a thing but figure out what fits in the rhyme - and if that means inventing a thoroughly stupid name, then that's what happens But that's a good thing! I broke out in laughter when I read the witch's name, but my favourite is by far the name of the king - it's just pretentious and weird enough to work! Hahaha~ I have no idea how I invented that name. It's still one of my favourite invented names, though. ^^ Glad you found it funny~ Hm, a throne of gold must be a bit uncomfortable... Good point! lol but cool nevertheless! And convenient - you'd just have to scratch off a bit of the chair to pay the pizza delivery guy... Hah, I've never thought of it that way! Hahaha~ That's actually a very good idea. *steals it* okay, hm, maybe you wouldn't actually do that... Scratches would just be ugly. xD *whispers* He actually scratches it from the back
I think this comment has digressed from the point, so I had probably better end it here. Heh, don't worry, I love comments that digress from the point I shall be back later though, to read more of your sometimes surprising yet interesting writing! ^_^ Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked this, it's my very oldest work up here!
The poem was really cute and fun. The ending was imaginative and the imagery was vivid. Nice writing! Smiles - Wendy Thank you! I'm glad you like it, since it's my oldest poem up here and I had to spend quite some time fixing it from its original 12-year-old-babble state!
OMG this is such a ironic poem. I love it. ^^
U Désirée Ruth Dippenaar replies: "Hehe, thank you! I love using irony I’m glad you like it and thanks for reading!!"
That is so depressing! LOL that was deffinitly a good ending though! Désirée Ruth Dippenaar replies: "Thank you~ I’m glad you liked the ending It is kinda depressing, yes - I had a frighteningly morbid imagination when I was 13, which is when I wrote this. "
I know it’s probably not a good thing to be laughing at the end of this one but I just couldn’t help myself with the irony. Loved it hun! *hugs and cookies with coconut juice*
All material posted at Elfwood is covered by the Elfwood Rules. If this page break any rule(s), help us out, and report it to the ERB by clicking here!
All
rights are reserved for the work 'Princess Chicken' by Désirée Ruth Dippenaar under
Elfwoods all rights reserved copyright policy
License
Main Category: 
L. Shanra Kuepers
I've found some already, but yah, they are rather complicated to fix... 
Hahaha~ I have no idea how I invented that name. It's still one of my favourite invented names, though. ^^ Glad you found it funny~ Hm, a throne of gold must be a bit uncomfortable... Good point! lol but cool nevertheless! And convenient - you'd just have to scratch off a bit of the chair to pay the pizza delivery guy... Hah, I've never thought of it that way! Hahaha~ That's actually a very good idea. *steals it* okay, hm, maybe you wouldn't actually do that... Scratches would just be ugly. xD *whispers* He actually scratches it from the back 
Heh, don't worry, I love comments that digress from the point 
It is kinda depressing, yes - I had a frighteningly morbid imagination when I was 13, which is when I wrote this. 
