This is the first bit of a massive story I'm working on. It revolves around the complex theory on light and Dark that I have spinning in my mind. In short, if you like action, mythological creatures and alot of bloodshed, read on.
There is a place it is said, beyond the realm of reality, and into the realm of dreams. This
is a place where magick lives and has always thrived. A place of wonders and enchantment, it
sits on the edge of what we call the universe.
A small planet, it is made up of all matter of mythical beasts. Dragons breathe fire
across ravaged plains and firebirds paint the sunsets in golden brilliance. Nymphs await
careless travelers beside inviting springs as fairies nest in tree hollows to watch elves glide by.
It is a place that storytellers dream of; and the place that spawned the greatest story of all, for it
is on this planet that the great schism occurred. This was the origin of the rift between light and
dark.
Now to this day the scholars are unsure of what exactly caused the rift. Some say it was
Fate’s son Twist fiddling with the tapestry of time. Others declare that the Great Mother deemed
her universe unclean, and thought to cleanse it with mass genocide. Then there are those who
say that light and dark became conscious, tired of the game they were being fed, and started
a new one. But however it was that they split, it caused catastrophic consequences.
The whole world was thrown into a hellish state of frenzied madness. Brother killed
brother. Kings slaughtered their neighbors. The way of the Knights was lost to chaos. The
world was drunk with blood. Until the allied Gods stepped in.
Now in these times the Gods were not very prominent in the lives of humans. Oh yes they
were revered and prayed to, but most of these prayers had the tendency to fall upon deaf ears.
For the truth of the matter was that the Gods didn’t care much for humanity. Humans were fun
to exploit and corrupt but, other than that, they weren’t of much use to the Gods. But this
catastrophe, this infuriating slaughter of their toys grasped their attention, and thrust them into
their greatest mystery: Who had done this? And how were they to fix it in time?
Fire rained down upon the defenseless town. The screams of the dying tore the smoke-
filled air as the swords clashed and the titans brawled. Massive armored giants mowed down the
fragile human farmers. Women ran with their skirts ablaze to the river, only to be swept away by
the swift current, and borne over the falls. Children hid under the stairs and burned to death as
the roofs caved in over them. Slaughter painted the fields in gore. There was no one to help
them. No one cared.
Demeter winced and turned away, as a small child screamed over the falls. She raised
her hazel eyes to the assorted divinities in the chamber. Her voice rose and fell in the iridescent
room. “We cannot let this go on. There must be another way, something from…this!” she
gestured to the pool of carnage. Weary heads nodded and regarded each other about the room.
Norse Gods were in hushed conversations with the Celtic, and Grecians murmured
amongst themselves while shooting wary glances at the Egyptian. All glanced back and forth
from the chamber’s pool to Demeter as she stood in silent thought. Her mind was outside on the
wide balcony looking out into space. A small smile tugged at her face as she remember how she
used to fly through it when times were good. When she didn’t have to think for everyone else.
The scenes in the chamber’s pool were reflected by the by the high ceiling, and distorted
by the comet passing by outside. The circular structure reverberated with whispers and half
conversations as they watched the massacre play out and the titans roll off, leaving the bloody
remains of a civilization. Slamming his fist on the table, Thor stood, jerking Demeter into the
present. “This cannot continue! I cannot watch this desecration further!” He yelled, turning to
leave, almost flattening a dark haired woman. She smiled, sweetly.
“Cannot watch it further Thor? Is the blood beginning to stain you? Are you beginning
to feel the guilt? Or are you just losing your appetite for it?” Thor stiffened in fury as she
laughed, lightly brushing by him, purple gown flowing about her like smoke. Standing, Artemis
addressed her.
“Wench! What business do you have here!?”
Persephone reclined against the table and regarded Artemis steadily. “Why, the same as
you dear sister. I’ve come to watch the world end.” Growling Artemis reached for her quiver.
“No.” Artemis looked up, startled.
“But, Demeter…she has no right….”
“She has every right Artemis,” Persephone’s grin grew wider, “Though, we must wonder,
why is she really here?” Clasping her heart Persephone pouted at her mother.
“Why mother! Since when do I need an invitation to come and visit you!” she
exclaimed, eyes widening in mock sincerity. Demeter’s gaze was cold.
“Get on with it child.” The dark lady sighed, and slid off the table. Running a hand
through raven hair, she regarded them with ice green eyes.
Get on with it pet. Her eyes widened in shock at his voice. Across the room she saw Ra
raise a chiseled eyebrow and regained her composure. She closed her eyes. “You all know that
the world is ending. You’ve seen it,” she gestured to the pool, “and yet you know nothing of the
start, or even what to do about it.”
“And you do?” Whirling about the dark one silenced the god with an icy stare.
“Yes. I do.” She replied, after a pause.
Thor started forward, “Tell us then!”
Persephone simply smiled, eerily. “You cannot tell me to remember the ones forgotten
child.” Thor paused as murmurs of confusion circled the cavern.
“Forgot?
“She’s mad…”
“I haven’t forgotten anything….”
“What is she going on about?”
“SILENCE!” roared Demeter, “Let the child speak.”
Bowing, Persephone resumed, “As I was saying, this is not natural occurrence. This is
nothing you can fix easily either. This is the first of the two judgments. And you are failing.”
Hackles rose about the chamber and a few of the more daring began to move towards the dark
child just as the room turned to ice.
A cold wind whipped through the gods and screams of confusion bounced from the walls.
HEAR HER AND LISTEN YE FOOLS! FOOLS OF GODS! LISTEN TO YOUR SALVATION!
The voice bellowed from the vacuum through their minds, driving them to their knees in the
sudden shadow. The, just as suddenly as it came, it was gone. Demeter rose shakily to her feet.
“Hades,” she spat, glaring at her warped offspring. “Explain yourself child or so help me
I’ll throw you off this cloud myself.” Murmurs of assent came from the displaced divinities as
they began to close in on the girl.
“Stop and hear me fools, and you shall have your answers!” A wave of dizziness rocked
through her skull. Only a little bit longer she thought through the pain. Raising her hands she
recited:
In lives of many
Balances the blade of one
Eye below
And fang above
Moonlight riding
In the wake of starlight
Unbidden now
By destiny’s fall
While twilight in her mind
sings without a word
In the silence of night
Something unheard
In a timeless chorus
Awakening souls
Infinitely bound
Within chaos and light
The chamber was silent as the last echoes of her words died. She looked about her, at the
recognition on the faces of the older divinities. She watched the tears trail down Venus’s lovely
face, and felt her insides breaking. She knew what would happen to them. She knew the cost of
their follies. And she also knew of the bloodshed to come.
It was spring in the shadowy forest, a place untouched by time or war. It was a peaceful
haven to the creatures of the old world, and some of the new. A pack of wolves milled anxiously
about the green glade. Their attention was focused on a small hole in the ground. Loud pants
and grunts could be heard as Frost labored inside. This was her first litter with Lukah, her
lifemate, and the process had been going on since dawn. She was getting nervous now because
the smell of her own blood was almost overpowering in the small space. Her nose pushed up
against the wall and contractions rippled down her lean form. Soon now, she knew the last
would come. Blue eyes rolled back and she felt the pup give and flop onto the warm dirt floor.
Panting gratefully, she turned and nuzzled the whimpering puppy. It was a female, the last of her
four. Picking up the small one she deposited it near her belly and turned over so her pups could
suckle, and she could rest.
Lukah nosed about near the cavern entrance. This was his first litter and he was curious
as to how things were going. Sticking his nose into the entrance he sniffed for a moment, and
heard small yips coming from the darkness. Puppies. Overjoyed, the packs’ leader sprang into
the air barking and yipping like a happy pup. He raced about the grove ecstatically and flopped
down by the river, almost on top of Patch. “Yah!?!? Wos’ wit you chief?” Lukah pounced his
brother and bowled both of them over into the slow water. Splashing and laughing Lukah yelled:
“I’m a father Patch! Four puppies! Four!”
“Four? Congratulations chief!” Patch responded, then his one eye widened in shock.
“So, tha makes me an u’ncle!? I’m an U’ncle!” he yipped happily as he and Lukah romped
merrily in the river while the pack watched and laughed.
The picture wavered in the mirror as Persephone watched. She smiled, Good.
Everything is going according to plan.
You make it sound like it was your idea. She turned, startled to find Hades right behind
her. “They are beautiful you know. So powerful in their own way. Pity they don’t know it.”
He brushed the glass, wiping the image away. She stared after it longingly for a moment, as she
felt him embrace her. “Someday you’ll have that life again love. But not now. Now we have
work to do.” She pushed him away.
“Don’t you mean I have work to do?” her eyes flashed. Hades looked stricken, and
backed away.
“Yes. It is mostly you. But only because I cannot leave this accursed place!” he yelled,
slamming his fist into the rock wall. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his hand. “You
know I never wanted this.” He murmured almost inaudibly. Her brow creased and she went to
him.
Wrapping her arms about the distraught god, she attempted comfort. “I know you didn’t
want this. Neither did I,” she turned his head towards her, “Until I found how wrong I was about
you.” A slow smile broke over his handsome features and he took her hand.
i adore this im a huge fan of hades+persephone art and fiction theyr the perfect opposites and they attract*shivers in delight* nough bout that tis is a great story and please make many many chapters for it im anxiously waiting for them*taps fingers on desk* Are they ready yet? ok im content with just one so please post Brittany Cali replies: "oOo! I have fans now!?!? Excellent ^^ This means I'll have to go and flesh out the rest of the story ^^I'd say, check back in a month or so, I may have a bit more up by then, Hopefully ^^"
20 Mar 2004
Miguel Francis Ettema
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Hmm! I bit of a hodge-podge tale Not badly written at all, just sounds like it's going to have everything and the magical kitchen sink in it "Buggered..." on my page is my attempt at such, but it's strictly humor Good characterisation and descriptions in your prose, with only a few puncos here an there. I like the fact there are wolves in it, but she-wolf really should have eaten the afterbirth first before flopping over to sleep (Sorry, vet in me coming through!). Congrats on the MC, and Keep Writing! (And feel free to browse more of my library should you get the inclination.) Brittany Cali replies: "Eek! I thought I had all the punctuation right!? Ah well, I'll fix it eventually. And I may stop by again later to check out this "Buggered" story of yours ^^"
After spending over 6 hours editing other peoples' stories for an upcoming class, it made for some good therapy to sit down and read something good.
Thank you.
I spotted a few typos here and there, but it looks like others have already pointed them out. And I can't fault you on them...gods know I have more than a few in my library as well...
Keep up the good work. Brittany Cali replies: "*blushes* Thank you! I actually re-read through it recently and fixed alot of the typos and such. Hopefully I'll have the next part up soon, if my muses cooperate with me ^^Good luck with your class and thanks for stopping by!"
Yeah, I love seeing stuff with Hades and Persephone. You have done a good job with characters here, though in much of it, I'm really confused as to who is talking. Anyway, I look forward to seeing more of it. By the way, Cecily 'SLWS' Webster revommended you to me, just so you know. :_) Brittany Cali replies: "Thank you! Hmm, I thought it was clear who was talking....but then again..I wrote it ^^;; And I was reccomended to you? Wow....that's awesome!"
Couldn't resist a story titled "Twilight"...(see my shelf to find out why! *hint hint, nudge nudge* +D
>"There is a place it is said, beyond the realm of reality, and into the realm of dreams""fairies nest in tree hollows to watch elves glide by""For the truth of the matter was that the Gods didn’t care much for humanity""Norse Gods were in hushed conversations with the Celtic [ones], and Grecians murmured amongst themselves while shooting wary glances at the Egyptian[s]." Inside [brackets] are things to add.
>"a chiseled eyebrow""Whirling about[,] the dark one silenced the god with an icy stare""the ones forgotten child""A wave of dizziness rocked through her skull""Only a little bit longer[,] she thought through the pain."Someday you’ll have that life again[,] love"<
I have a hard time with Persephone acting the pouty manipulative young lady, and then sounding so mature at the and loving at the end, but that's your artistic freedom. All in all, it's pretty good though, and I did enjoy it. It's always interesting to postulate the various pantheons interacting, so I imagine you'll deal with that more later. I'd appreciate some more vivid details though, as most of the settings and characters appear rather bland, like you're relying too much on name-recognition. Just a few choice details here and there for setting and character, but they'd really make the piece come alive.
Well that's all for now. You've got a great beginning, so keep working on it! And congrats on the mod's choice. Brittany Cali replies: "1. My sisters are rabid fans of her work too. I myself can't bring myself to read any of it because I'm pissed off that she stole my title.
2. "It is said there is a place that stretches beyond the realm of reality and into that of dreams" I actually think that that sounds more convoluted. It just doesn't trip off my tounge the right way.
3. I left the elves vague because they aren't too important to the story until much later. Plus in this world they are generally an uninteresting and jaded people due to the fact that they live forever. So they do wander in a rather trancelike state just because they're so witdrawn from everything (there's not alot of happiness going on on the earth in this thing)
4. See, I like that it jarss you out of the history though. I do that every now and again to make sure people are paying attention
5. Most of that stuff is probably just general error that I forgot to fix. This story is quite old.
6. Hades can cower the Gods because in this world, Gods can be killed, but Hades is immortal because death is the one constant in the universe. But that little snippet isn't to be revealed until later.
7. I honestly just like toying with Persephone as a character. She's quite intriguing.
In conclusion: I should probably go and fix the errors in this crazy theng when college isn't busy eating my life, or something. This is also probably all I will ever write on this, just because I'm not sure where I want it to go. Also because I've found that I enjoy writing poetry and creative non-fiction a bit more than fantasy. Which would be why my gallery is so stagnant, nothing I write now can be posted here. But thank you for reading and reviewing, extensively, felt like I was being workshopped for a minute there. And I shall have to bob by your gallery when I have a hot second "
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Not badly written at all, just sounds like it's going to have everything and the magical kitchen sink in it 
