SciFi and Fantasy Stories: Panic

The attack came.  Suddenly Elayna was fighting for even the tiniest bit of air.  The world dipped and dove, darkening in front of her as the heat of blood rushed into her face.  Her stomach threatened to revolt.  She was lightheaded.  Something was wrong.  Something was missing.  Breathe!  Her lungs screamed at her achingly.  Elayna inhaled sharply, leaning heavily against the rough brick wall of a nearby building.  Her eyes flew open desperately as her face began to cool.  When had she closed them?  How long had she stood there motionless?  Rule number one: never close your eyes…He would claim you.

            Elayna only gave herself enough time to fight off the dizziness, and she set off at a run; her lungs yelling in protest.  She could never stop running.  No matter where she went he was always there, hovering at the edge of vision.

            The doctors had all tried to convince her that he wasn’t real, that he was merely a figment of her overactive imagination.  They said if she took her medication he would disappear.  Elayna had stopped going to the doctors.  She had also stopped taking the pills they’d prescribed.  The drugs only prevented her from fighting him.

            Who was he, they had asked mockingly.  He was pain.   He was everything anyone has ever been scared of, but his name was Panic.  Panic, the most dangerous of emotions, there was simply no escaping his hold.  You can only experience so much anger before you erupt and only so much love before your heart breaks.  But he - Panic was a black bottomless pit.  Elayna had known him since the very first time she’d wandered away from her mother at the grocery store.  He had feasted upon her childish terror of being lost and alone.  Panic was that overly strong tide of the ocean slowly pulling you to crash against the deadly rocks.  He had owned her from that very first moment on.

            Elayna’s feet slapped the wet pavement as she ran in the rain.  Thwack, thwack, thwack.  She had thought an early morning jog around the neighborhood would calm and clear her mind.  Now, she realized that it had only exhausted her further.  Every part of her body ached with fatigue.  Her eyes were bloodshot, surrounded by deep purple circles, clashing with the paleness of her skin.  She hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks, settling for short catnaps and large doses of caffeine.  She knew that she couldn’t run forever.  Eventually her body would shut down, allowing itself the respite she denied.  Until then, she’d take every step to avoid him.

            As Elayna approached her apartment, she gradually slowed her pace, stopping just short of the front door.  Entering, she sighed, thankful that she lived alone.  After much arguing, her parents had finally allowed her to get an apartment, although they had insisted that she live as close to home as possible. 

Elayna wandered slowly into the living room and plopped herself down on the couch.  Some TV should be fine, she thought.  Yawning, she picked up the slender remote.  Sitting on the fluffy cushions of the couch probably wasn’t very safe.  Then again, the last time she had passed out it had been on the floor, and her parents, who were visiting at the time, had rushed her to the hospital.  Nestling deeper into the softness of the couch, Elayna’s eyelids began their slow descent.  No, she thought, sitting on the couch was a very bad…

Everything was dark, but there he was, looming over her, a silhouette against the light.  How was that possible?  There was no light in the dark.  Fear began to rise uncontrollably, wriggling up from her stomach, resting in her throat, stifling a scream.  He moved closer, becoming visibly clearer as he did so.  Suddenly her fear was gone and she felt safe.  Safe?  The question flared within her mind, but did nothing to lift the darkness.

            “Yes Elayna, safe.”  A voice whispered.

            Who was that?  She was alone in the overwhelming black.  No, not alone.  Panic was with her.  Had he spoken? 

            “You ask so many questions.  Do you not ever tire of them?  Always questioning and always running.  I have waited so long for you to stop running, Elayna.”

            His voice was a gentle caress.  Why had she run from that voice?  Elayna strained to see him.  As if reading her thoughts, Panic stepped forward again, his features now clearly defined by the mysterious light-dark.

            She had never seen him before.  She had always fought to open her eyes as quickly as possible.  Always running.  Why?  The answer eluded her as she studied his face.  He was ghostly pale, and the pearly white that was his skin shone against the black hair dusting his shoulders.  His thin lips were parted as though he might speak.  A nose that came to a sharp point and then rounded out centered his face.  But his eyes – Oh, those eyes.  How could Elayna have forgotten them?  They were the coldest, deepest blue she had ever seen.  They were eyes that would drive you mad.

            “You remember.”  He spoke again, his words wrapping her in thin tendrils of warmth and something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She managed to stammer, her mind filling with a thick fog.  Suddenly a subtle breeze began to separate the haze, giving her a small glimpse of things long forgotten.  Just as quickly as it had come, the breeze vanished, leaving her in a cloud of confusion.  Elayna drew her legs up, wrapping her arms around them for comfort.

“I scare you.” Panic said simply.

            “Yes.” Elayna whispered.

            “That is why you ran.”

            “Yes.”  She replied.

            “Some might say it is wise to fear me.  If that is true, then you should also fear yourself.”  He stated.

            Elayna stared into his eyes again.  They held a deep sorrow and carried the weight of unfathomable knowledge.  Yet, his words stirred a long forgotten memory and confused her further.

            “What reason would I have for fearing myself?”  She asked quietly, the answer just beyond her grasp.

            “Because you are Fear.”

            Her head swam as she struggled to break the surface and take a breath of sweet air.  Centuries of memories flooded her mind, image after image, love, hatred, power, death, and she collapsed in the darkness.

Elayna stirred.  Strong arms cradled her.  They were arms that could wield great power.  Arms that had built a kingdom only to see it smashed to pieces and begin rebuilding once more.  Arms that had held someone they’d lost, hoping one day for a reunion.  They were the arms of someone who loved her, had loved her, and would always love her.  A hand brushed a strand of dark hair away from her pale face as she opened her eyes. 

“I knew you would return.”  A voice whispered, thick with emotion.

Elayna looked up.  She was startled to see that it was Panic, but the memories calmed her, reminding her that the feeling overwhelming her heart was love and that she was safe.  She leaned closer into his embrace, sighing in contentment.  They had been reunited.

There would always be a reason to run, of course, but now everyone would be running from her.  After all, Fear and Panic had always been lovers, a King and Queen ruling their court of terror.