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Debra L Clevenger

"Aftermath - Project #7" by Debra L Clevenger

SciFi/Fantasy text 11 out of 22 by Debra L Clevenger.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This is my contribution to Jim Bowers' Project #7. He provided a 'seed' paragraph that all writers had to take off from. Permission to use the 'seed' is here: http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/libr/j/k/jkbowers/jkbowers.html As a writer, I enjoy working on these projects because I usually have to stretch a bit outside of what I normally write. Sometimes, it can be frustrating, but overall I enjoy the experience! Enjoy and let me know what you think.
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←- Chapter 9 - Deljin | Deljin - Terms & Definitions -→

 

Aftermath

 

Dannel ached.  The pounding, all-over ache assaulted his senses with shrieks from every muscle and nerve in his battered frame.  Blood?  No, he decided, not his own but sticky on his skin and clothes just the same.  How long?” his groggy mind asked.

The floor was hard and cold beneath him and a dim light – Marrik’s? -- shone at an eerie angle, rising from the floor a few feet to his left to cast surreal shadows on the walls.  Why so dark in here?  His weapon lay on the floor to his right and instinctively his hand groped for it.  Gaining purchase, he dragged it close with a rasping sound that echoed in the silence.  The feel of the stark, cool metal offered him some primal comfort.

He struggled to a sitting position and bone-jarring pain surged up Dannel’s spine dashing itself like a wave on the back of his skull.  He winced and sardonically acknowledged to himself that the battle must have gone well if he could accomplish so much.  The surrounding carnage and the fact that he seemed intact told him it could easily have been much worse. “How much worse?” he thought with a start.

There were bodies and parts of bodies everywhere.  His eyes sought familiar shapes among the dead.  The light – Marrik’s!  The dim light escaping from beneath his crumpled body shone an ugly red.  Dead.  Very much so.  No doubts -- torn nearly in half.

There… some ten feet away… Lirra.  Slumped against the wall, bloody, a gash in her face running from her forehead down her right cheek nearly to her chin.  Her weapon was still in her hand.  Well, she never was one to retreat.

Dannel revised his initial assumption.  The battle had not gone well at all.  He crawled across the gore-strewn floor to Lirra.  Maybe, just maybe…

 

 

          Chasbri was well hidden from the scene playing out before him. He watched as Dannel crawled toward Lirra, hoping against hope that she was still alive. Of course, Chasbri knew that she was. She had to be.

          Dannel reached Lirra and gingerly touched the gash on her cheek. He pulled a piece of her already torn shirt free from underneath her body armor and made a feeble attempt to stop the bleeding. Relief flooded his senses as he realized that she was alive. Barely, but still, alive.

          His battered body screamed with every slight movement, but he shoved the pain signals to the back of his mind. He had to help Lirra. He knew that somewhere there would be a medical station and he had to find it.

          He heard a soft whimper to his left. “Chasbri!” He thought. “Chas, come out, boy, it’s all right now,” he whispered. He knew that the Daesko would hear him, even though his voice was almost inaudible. The soft rustle of Chasbri’s fur caught Dannel’s ears as the Daesko wiggled from his hiding spot.

          “Chas, boy, we have to find the med station. Lirra needs help. Can you help me?” Dannel’s intense look cut through Chas’ fear and the Daesko nodded.

          “Of course,” Chasbri squeaky squealed to himself because Dannel would never understand him. “Lirra has to live, just as you do.”

          Chasbri waited patiently as Dannel struggled to his feet. He tottered a bit as blood rushed to unused parts. He’d been out quite a while before regaining consciousness. Slowly and with determination, he bent over to pick up the still form of Lirra. Her gun fell from her hand as he lifted her off the ground, Dannel gritted his teeth in an effort to steel the pain coursing through his body. He nodded to Chasbri to lead the way.

          Chasbri lifted his damp little nose and twitching his fur-tufted ears, he headed toward a corridor on the opposite side of the room.

          Dannel groaned. “Oh, yeah, it has to be way over there!” He muttered. Chas smiled to himself as he led the way across the gore-strewn metallic floor. Chas picked his way as carefully as he could through the dead bodies and pieces. He couldn’t avoid the blood, not that he could care about the messiness anyway. Blood wasn’t so bad; it was a matter of perspective, really.

          Lirra’s blood-soaked dark hair hung in a matted mess, almost touching the ground. It had worked itself loose from the tight braid she had twisted it into this morning before they had went into battle. Dannel choked back the overwhelming feeling that he might lose her if he couldn’t get her to the med station.

          Chasbri clicked and whistled, making what Dannel knew to be soothing sounds. Chas had a knack for knowing when he was upset and tried as best he could to comfort him. Dannel looked at the little creature waddling in front of him, concentrating on the path that the Daesko was picking out. Chas would find the safest, quickest way. He always did.

          Reaching the other side of the room, Chasbri hesitated for just a moment before entering the corridor he had picked. He seemed to wait for Dannel to catch up before continuing. There were a few bodies scattered here as well. The carnage wasn’t as bad as in the main room, but it was bad enough. Dannel couldn’t detect any sign of life as they passed the still forms. Chas didn’t stop to investigate, either, so he knew there were no survivors here.

          His aching muscles began to scream as Chas led him down the hall. He wasn’t in such great shape either. Even though Lirra wasn’t really all that big, she was pretty solid, having spent most of her life working out, staying in shape. She was almost as tall as he was; yet she was as different from him as the sun from the moon.

          The trip through the twisting corridors was uneventful. Chasbri hesitated every so often, as if double-checking the direction he was leading Dannel in. Moments seemed like hours as they wound their way through the passages of the space station.

          Dannel concentrated all his strength in single-minded purpose to get Lirra to the Med Center. He knew enough to get her hooked into the life unit and run the diagnostic program. His father had been Chief Medical Officer on Targis VII, so Dannel had learned a bit about the medical worlds machinery. At this moment, that seemed a lifetime away. He gritted his teeth in determination to just put one foot in front of the other one.

          Dannel realized through the trauma induced semi-conscious state of instinctual movement that Chas had stopped. Chasbri uncoiled his long, fur-tufted tail and reached up with it to the access panel that opened the door. Chas waddled his pear-shaped body through the door into the Med Center.

          Chas was honestly surprised at the lack of bodies in the room. Most of the Medical Staff must have left to help the injured or dying. “Not that it did them any good.” Chas thought to himself.

          Dannel stumbled into the room and toward the life units. The coffin-shaped treatment centers seemed so far away. He was limping heavily with fatigue at this point. Sweat and blood dripped from his sand colored hair, running down his cheeks and past his strong, square jaw-line to drip onto his torn leather jacket.

          It was all Dannel could do to lay Lirra carefully in the life unit and not just dump her into it. Once the unit supported her body, Dannel leaned hard against the machinery. His arms and legs felt like Jell-O, but he knew he had to keep moving.

          Chasbri had crouched down a few feet away, patiently watching the intense instinct for survival play out. He watched as Dannel, his hands shaking, reached for the control panel at the foot of the unit to activate it. It would run a diagnostic program to determine Lirra’s status and prepare data for her course of treatment. It was truly modern medicine at its best.

          As Dannel unsteadily activated the unit, he had no idea that this was the only unit left in existence. Nor did he know that the Med Center happened to be located in the central hub of the space station into a piece that could self-sufficiently detach as a separate space vehicle. This ship held a main bridge with total exploration capabilities, living quarters, a science station (which held enough seedlings and animal species chryo-eggs to repopulate a small world) and the Med Center that they were in now.

          Dannel did not know, as he stood there struggling to save Lirra’s life, that the ship had undocked from the main station and was moving toward a pre-set destination.

          Dannel wavered unsteadily as the life unit began repairing Lirra’s broken, battered body. He felt his consciousness slipping from him as he crumpled to the cold, metal floor of the Med Center.

          Chasbri watched the drama play on, the innocent look on his face seemingly filled with concern. He waddles over to the life unit and hopped up to view the control panel. The unit had sealed the gash on Lirra’s face and had started the grafting process needed to repair it. She wouldn’t even have a scar. Her internal vitals had been stabilized. The unit had staunched any internal bleeding and was repairing her damaged organs and fractured bones.

          Chasbri’s toothy grin widened as he noted that Lirra was going to be just fine. He knew that Dannel would recover as well. Dannel might be exhausted and weak physically, but ultimately he was strong and would overcome the frail state he was in now.

          If Chasbri could have laughed out loud, he would have. This furry little body didn’t allow him that pleasure. He wasn’t quite done with this little body yet, either. Dannel and Lirra both trusted this little creature and he counted on that.

          In the days, months and years to come after they both recovered and awakened to the reality of their situation, Chasbri would be there. He would be there when they discovered that they were the only two humans left alive. Anywhere. He would be there when they realized that they and they alone had lived through what myths, legends and doctrines had called “Armageddon”. They had survived the end of the world.

          They would begin anew with hope and dedication, just as Adam and Eve had done so very long ago. And just when they thought they were secure in their new-found Eden, Chasbri would be there to sow his seeds – just as he had always done.

          Chasbri felt the gentle presence of the One as he reveled in his webs of deceit, but then it had always been so and would always be so. Chasbri – Chaos Bringer hopped down from the life unit to sit sympathetically by Dannel’s unconscious body, weaving his webs, the picture of innocence.

←- Chapter 9 - Deljin | Deljin - Terms & Definitions -→

DateNameComment 
27 Sep 200445 Jamie A. Hughes
Oh man! It's always the cute, fuzzy things you have to look out for! Honestly, I had no idea that ending was coming, and let me tell you, this story would ROCK as a novel length piece. That ending after 200 pages of reading would really turn some heads! (In a spiritual sense of course.) Debra, as always, you're a writing star. Great work on this seed. My version of the story came out totally different from everyone else, but I guess that was the idea. Great work. Thanks for some wonderful hurricane Jeanne reading. 2

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "Thank you. I definitely have to make the rounds soon and see what everyone else came up with!yep! Tis always the cute, fuzzy things! LOLI honestly can't imagine making this any longer, I had to stretch to crank this out. I certainly appreciate your enthusiasm, though! Thanx."
27 Sep 2004:-) Inger Marie Hognestad
This was certainly a new take on the creation myth 10 I liked the way you abbreviated his name, -Chaos Bringer, into something that seemed cozy and fuzzy and nice. The contrast to his real nature and intent became greater for it, as the impact of the story.

So far all the contributions to Jim's project that I've read have been sci-fi. Mine is too, and it's also dealing with war and the creation concept. That makes both yours, Chris' and mine entry dabble in the same topics. Odd, isn't it? Very different stories, but some underlying common themes. Just an interesting observation 2 Good read from you Debra, as usual.

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "Thank you! The only one I have read so far is Matt's and it is very interesting.Yeah, I think its odd that we all came up with the same underlying theme! I'll definitely check those out as soon as I can.I really like the way Chasbri turned out. *smile*"
3 Oct 2004:-) Emily 'Samirine' Veit
Yup mine is sci-fi too, although not based on the creation myth. Right now I'm waiting in the ticket-line, should be along soon enough. Your story on the other hand is amazing. I love the way you tell Chasbri's thoughts--I knew he was evil! Definitely an intersting take on creation!

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "Thank you! Yep - Chasbri is just tooo darn cute! LOL I had a bit of a hard time not giving him away - although he IS obvious in a weird sort of way. I'll be making the rounds through the other pieces real soon. *smile*"
4 Oct 2004:-) Chris A Jackson
Ha! Another SF one! He he he... and here I thought I was being original... Yeah, right...

Well, I loved the ending. Loved the descriptions of your little "devil". I had a little trouble with the shifting POVs though. One paragraph someone is feeling or thinking something, the next someone else is. Got a little confused there.

I must admit, I wasn't thinking "Aftermath" as in Armageddon, but this is not that different than my story... Great minds think alike, I guess... heh heh...

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "Hey there! Good to see you, Chris. I don't know where the Armageddon thing came from, honestly... Just seemed to write itself. I was thinking more along the lines of a new Eden and how history replays itself over and over, with this being the ultimate replay - kind of from the beginning. My sci-fi stuff still needs work. *sigh*
Yep - I didn't notice the horrid pov shifts - I'll take another look when I get time. See ya soon!"
6 Oct 2004:-) Matthew T. Summers
hehee.. I liked this one, though I have to say.. it's been pointed out that just about everyone did sci-fi, and so far, they all but one *HAVE* been. hehee...

We're all a bunch of sci-fi geeks, aren't we?

>Matt

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "okay... okay... I guess I have to fess up! Since Lost In Space was my first favorite tv show - I guess I qualify, don't I???!!! LOL
I honestly don't write that much sci-fi, even though I have elements of it in Deljin, so I have to really stretch a bit when I do. Tis a nice change of pace.
I'm glad you like this. I REALLY liked yours (once I actually read it!) *wink*"
12 Oct 2004:-) James K Bowers
Thanx, Debra, for yet another thought-provoking addition to ‘The Project’!

The tangents taken by our Proj#7 writers have been diverse. They have ALL been unpredictable, but only a few might also be characterized as unexpected. THIS tale was unexpected, to say the very least.

What has caught my eye in this story you’ve woven is the inclusion of the many sensory cues that guide your readers along as you introduce Chasbri. He “squeaky squealed”, he “clicked and whistled”, he “waddled his pear-shaped body”, he “crouched down”, and (most impressively) he “uncoiled his long, fur-tufted tail and reached up with it to the access panel that opened the door”. What a clever little fellow, or so it would seem.

Your treatment of Dannel, Lirra, and the environment within which you placed them was as skillfully executed as the your presentation of your small, furry “mystery guest”.

Your tale does present some very minor POV fluctuations, as Chris has pointed out, that might be “smoothed over” at some future date. However, in general terms, I couldn’t have been more pleased with the underlying theme and driving force of the story. Worth reading more than a time or two; and certainly worth taking a few moments to ponder…

Your story’s conclusion might even be Proj#7’s “pick of the litter”. Who would have dreamed it? Chasbri, in all his innocent charm… what a deviously, clever little fellow…

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "Thank you so much! This comment really made my day. At first, I was a bit hesitant about this, but once Chasbri popped in my head everything worked out.
I'm especially thrilled that you like it. *smile*"
16 Oct 2004:-) Frances Monro
Overall: *smiles* Nice.

Fault finding: I think that this story suffers from the fact that most of the revelation is _told_ rather than shown. The "main" characters never fully realize or confront their situation which results in something of a let down at the end.

Che

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "Thanx! Yep - I know. Fault finding taken. *smile* Always appreciate your findings!"
12 Dec 2004:-) Alice Muffin Girl Smith
~ Chasbri lifted his damp little nose and twitching his fur-tufted ears*,* he headed toward a corridor on the opposite side of the room. < You might consider breaking this off into two separate sentences; that comma just ain't right...
~ ...so Dannel had learned a bit about the medical *worlds* machinery. < "world's"?

*grins* Ooo, that evil little critter! ^_^ Good read, darling! ^_^

Question: what were they fighting?

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "*smile* No, worlds, plural - as in several of them that Dannel had visited. Anywho - gotta love Chasbri, huh???
Don't know when, but I'll fix that sentence. Glad you like it, always makes me happy!
Well, I don't know what they were fighting - Jim set this up, so I figured, I'd leave that to him! LOL"
13 Apr 2006:-) Ramona C Bogott
Decided since I have a little time, I needed to read some of your other stuff! Love this story - I have so much difficulty writing shorts that I don't know if I could be part of a "project" like this, but would be fun to try. You draw the reader in immediately to the story with your descriptions. Very smooth read.

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "This particular project was a bit difficult for me because there was already a beginning. I tend to have trouble with those.
I must admit that it turned out better than I thought it would. I'm glad that you liked it!
I would also encourage you to check out Jim Bower's page if you are considering joining a writing group - the Herscher Project has been an incredibly positive experience for me. You are definitely have talent!"
20 Jul 2006:-) Marijke Mahieu
Ah, another project piece! 2 I read several of these so far on other people's page and I now regret I wasn't there when this particular project was set up. Everyone made such a good and original story and yours really was top shelf! 2

Very original approach to the seed story. I was NOT expecting this ending, but I loved it! My first thought when you described the med's unit with all the species in it was "Noah's ark", but then the little fuzzy interfered and I'm not sure what to think now 2...I only know I loved this story!

--Marijke

:-) Debra L Clevenger replies: "Thank you! Chas just kind of happened when I least expected it. lol
I really had to stretch for this one - even though I have done stories from pictures before, using the "seed" paragraph through me off a bit. I did end up having a pretty good time writing this, though.
Definitely glad you like it!"
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'Aftermath - Project #7':
 • Created by: :-) Debra L Clevenger
 • Copyright: ©Debra L Clevenger. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Beginning, Eden, New, Old, Theme
 • Categories: Demons, Imps, Devils, Beholders..., Extrateresstial, Alien Life Forms, Fights, Duels, Battles, Romance, Emotion, Love
 • Views: 626

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