SciFi and Fantasy Stories: The Joys of Babysitting

The Joys of Baby Sitting

“One…two… three… four… five…six…seven… eight…nine,” I paused dramatically, peeking out from behind the wall, “TEN!” I whirled around as fast as possible.  Unfortunately, I stumbled on a Lego hotel, and ended up kissing a skateboard.  I sighed and picked myself off of the floor. 

Crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon style, I snuck around the kitchen.  Okay, I was hamming it up a bit, but I wanted to keep the munchkins as entertained as possible. 

          “You can’t find me!” sang a voice behind the couch.  I ran to the front of it and stuck my hand over, grabbing an ankle. 

          “Gotcha!” I laughed, picking up Sid, and swinging him over my shoulder.

“Aw!” He moaned, “I had such a good spot.”

“But I’m better,” I whispered.  I plopped the kid down on a kitchen chair,   “Now you are my prisoner”

“Oh, no!” Sid half tried to wiggle out of the chair.  The kid could put on a good show.

          I walked away, this time Mission Impossible style, fake finger gun and all.  I crept up the stairs, and poked my head in the bathroom.  Two sneakers danced under the shower curtain. I flung the curtain open.

And I saw Tommy, sopping wet, washing his hair with shaving cream.

          “What are you doing?” I asked, yanking the shaving cream bottle out of his hand. 

          “Showering.”

          “I didn’t hear the water run,” I turned on the shower, rinsing the cream from his head.  Heck, he was already wet.

          “I used the cup,” he pointed to the rinsing cup and smiled.  I sighed and carried him to the kitchen, careful not to get wet in the process.

          “Another prisoner!” I said.  I sat Tommy down to a kitchen chair, and left the two boys to talk.

          I snuck up to my room, the only other place the munchkins could hide. I opened the door slowly, making sure it creaked. 

          A child-size bump was on my bed.  I stalked up to it.  With one giant movement, I ripped off the covers to my bed, only to reveal a pile of my dirty laundry. 

          Oh, he was smart. 

I turned to put my clothes away.  I opened the closet door, and was attacked by a wolf-boy. 

          “Let my people go!” he yelled, pinning me to the bed. It was already full moon?

          “Never!”

          “Yes!”

          “No!”

          “I’ll lick ya!” he said, swirling some spit in his mouth.

          “Ew!” I said squirming under his grip.  It was sad that he could pin me.  If only I could change, too.  “Fine! Go! Avenge them.”

          Johnny tore out of my room, taking full advantage of his super speed.  I sighed, and sat on my bed.  “Damn little werewolf,” I muttered.

I concentrated on my ears.  I wiggled them, letting them grow fur.  They started to enlarge, and take their position on the top of my head. 
           Oh, how I wished I could run with the pack, fully changed and happy.   But no, I had babysitting duty.  At least they couldn’t fully change yet.  It was torture running after three hairy four year olds, let alone three wolf puppies.

           With my new ears, I could hear the boys running around the kitchen, claws tapping on tile.  Sid was singing  “Free Bird” over and over again. 

          I raced down the stairs, stretching my limbs.  The three boys were already changed.  They left clumps of fur wherever they went. It wouldn’t be long until they could completely change into wolves.

          I scooped up Johnny and spun him around a couple of times.

          “They may be free, but you are my prisoner.”  I laughed evilly, and held him against his struggling.  

          “No!” said Sid.

          “Let him go,” said Tommy.

          “But we had a deal.” I swung Johnny around to face me.  He wrapped his legs around my waist.

          “Yes.  You don’t spit on me, and I let Sid and Tommy go.  Nowhere does it mention that you go free also.”

          “But I meant it,” Johnny looked up at me with pleading eyes.

          “Let him go, Sara, please,” moaned Sid.  His ear twitched and he scratched it with his hind leg.

          I pretended to think for a moment. “Okay, I guess.” But instead of putting him down, I sat him on my shoulders. 

          “What do you munchkins want for dinner?” I opened up the fridge with my foot and looked in.

          “Ice-cream,” shouted Sid.

          “Cake,” shouted Tommy.

          “Ice-cream cake,” Sid replied.

          “Bacon!” Johnny pulled out a package of microwave bacon and shoved it in my face.

          “Bacon!” sang the other dog-boys.

          I plopped Johnny down, and stuck all of the bacon from the box into the microwave.

          Johnny, Tommy, and Sid took seats at the kitchen table, and folded their arms politely.  I leaned against the counter and watched the bacon sizzle in the microwave.  I pulled it out before it got too burnt.  

          I took ten pieces for myself and walked over and gave the plate to the boys. 

          Within a two-minute tornado of bacon and fur, they had finished all of the bacon.  

          And that was my big rookie mistake, to give them energy.   Pretty soon I had a giant spider, a rattlesnake, and an evil villain named “Evilly Evil Dude” running around my living room instead of three little munchkins.

          I was trying to Bubble Wrap all of the glassware when the phone rang.

          “Hello?” I answered breathlessly.

          “Sara?  This is Jim,”

          “Sir!” I said into the receiver.  “MUNCHKINS!” I shouted to the boys, “I CAN’T HEAR!”

          “Are you okay?” asked Jim, I could hear some of the pack howl behind him.

          “No. Not at all.  Sid is rolling around, trying to make a giant spider web out of I-don’t-know what.  Tommy is in the living room, doing the worm, because he wants to be a cobra or something.  And your son!  Oh, he’s running around in his tighty-whities trying to turn off the electricity, because he has accepted the fact that he is ‘Evilly Evil Dude and that is his mission of the night’!”

          “You fed them didn’t you?”

          “Maybe…. why?”

          “Because they are like those gremlins, from that 80’s movie.  Fed the kids at all and you end up with a cobra and a super villain.” Jim said and then he chuckled a little.

          “This is not funny!” I whined, “Jim, you’re the pack leader, you are supposed to help the others when they truly need it.  Well, guess what? I have to put the three of them in bed in twenty minutes.  I need help!” I started to cry a little.

          “What do you want me to do?  It’ll take me an hour to get over to your home to put them to bed.”

          “Can you at least talk to your son?  Get him to settle down, and he’ll help me.  Please, Sir.”

          “Put him on.”

          “Johnny,” I shouted.

          “Not here,” said Johnny, although he did come into the kitchen.

          “It’s your father,” I said, handing him the phone. 

          I sat on the kitchen counter and watched Johnny hum, and grunt to whatever his father was saying.

          “By Dad,” Johnny mumbled, and walked into the living room. 

          “Attention Giant Spider, and Furry Rattlesnake,” He called. “ I am no longer Evilly Evil Dude.  I am now Chief Big Dog,” Johnny slide on his pants and sat down on the floor Indian style.  “And you two are my peoples.” 

Obediently, Sid and Tommy sat on the floor in front of him.  Johnny took out my lip-gloss and used it as war paint for the three of them.

          “Hey!  Where did you get that?” I asked.  Johnny ignored me.

          “And this,” he said, pointing at me, “Is the Goddess, Tells Us What To Do.  We must obey her every word or a great storm will come and wipe us away!  So Great Goddess, what do you want us to do?”

          “I want you to clean the living room,” I whispered as softly as I could in Johnny’s ear.

          “The Great Goddess wants us to play Cleany, Cleany, Up, Up!” said Johnny.  And then I watched the three wolf boys run around the living room, at super speeds cleaning it. 

          Johnny came back to me and knelled at my feet.  He had a feather duster tapped on his head.

          “Now I want you to brush your teeth.” I whispered to him.

          “Now, my peoples, the Great Goddess wants us to clean our fangs!” the three boys tromped up the stairs.

          I took a brown blanket from the couch and followed them. 

          The little were wolves brushed their teeth as best they could, and I needed to help Sid floss.  All in all though, I was surprised at how wonderful they were behaving.

          “Now it is time for you three wolves to go to bed,” I said as goddess like as I could. 

          The munchkins obediently followed me to my room.  One by one, they curled up in my king sized bed.  They actually looked cute like that, even though lip-gloss was still smeared on their cheeks.

          “Sara,” said Johnny.  Curled up in my bed, I could easily see how tired he really was.

          “Yes, Chief Big Dog?”

          “Thank you.  I had fun.”   He sighed and tucked himself under the covers.

          I tip toed out of the room, and turned off the light.  I made my way slowly to the couch, and curled up on it.  Like the little munchkins, I needed to sleep.