SciFi and Fantasy Stories: Infinity Man - Genesis

The sun was shining. This was not a good thing. You see, out here in the real world, bad things happen regardless of the weather. The problem is, when the sun is shining brightly and the birds are chirping merrily, you don't want bad things to happen. It spoils your mood. So when they do happen, it just feels that much worse. On the other hand, if there's thunder and lightning and a dismal drenching downpour, and someone spills a cup of tea on your nice new tennis shoes, you just give them a whack with a handy broomstick. You don't feel any worse; if anything, it makes you feel better. Thus, we arrive at the conclusion that the sun shining on that day was not a good thing. Because, dear reader, a lot of bad things were about to happen. Well... maybe just one or two.

Our unsuspecting protagonist crossed the street, unsuspectingly. Not suspecting anything, he paused for a moment to gaze at the words plated on the building's grey, marbled surface, "Bank". He entered the building, completely failing to suspect the three suspicious characters who were crossing the street behind him. He walked up to one of the tellerbots in the row of booths.

"Hi," he said sunnily (the smiling sun had already begun to affect him, poor child). "I'd like to open an account."

"State your name and ID number, please," said the tellerbot in a flat mechanical voice.

"My name is Samuel, and --"

At this point a rather complicated series of events occurred. A loud shotgun blast rang out, drowning Samuel's next words. The pellets buried themselves in the wall. The SmartSensor sent an automatic distress call to the nearest Superhuman Evil Removal (SUPER) station. A young boy named Johnny John dropped a vase of flowers, an event that would culminate years later in the mayor of the city contracting a strange disease and declaring war on plants, plunging the city into a bloody civil war. But the frightened citizens in the bank had more immediate things to worry about.

The three masked men stood in the centre of the lobby. All three carried shotguns. The man in the centre stepped forward.

"Good morning," he said. "I am an evil villain. You may call me Evillain. These are my two henchmen, Henchman One," he gestured to his left, "and Henchman Two," he gestured to his right. "We are here to rob you. Cooperate, and no one will be harmed."

There was a sudden crash, and a man rushed into the bank. He was clad in tight fitting spandex, with wavy bands of alternating black and white. "The only one who will be harmed is you, evil fiend!" cried the man, wagging his finger.

"On the contrary, my friend," returned Evillain. He brandished a small black box. "This is a Grandma(tm) Ray Bomb! If I drop it, a timer will be activated, and one minute later it will blow up! You'd best stay out of my way!"

"I will never let you succeed. you foul-mouthed fiend!"

"Oh? And just how are you planning on stopping me, er... what's your name, anyway?"

"My name? Oh, I'm Roderick."

Evillain rolled his eyes. "I meant your SUPERname, you fool!"

"Oh!" The man squared his shoulders and thrust out his chest. "I," he said, with a theatrical pause, "am Macrowave!" Henchman One and Henchman Two looked at each other. Evillain frowned. "You've never heard of me?" Macrowave asked, looking slightly miffed.

"Can't say I have... what is it you do, exactly?"

"Well, you know how microwaves make water molecules vibrate? I do that on a larger scale! I make people vibrate!" Macrowave waved a hand at Henchman Two, to demonstrate his point. This was not a smart thing to do. Henchman Two began to shake uncontrollably, his finger spasmed against the trigger, and Macrowave received a friendly shotgun blast to the chest. Several people screamed. Evillain laughed, carefully modulating it so that the sound fell squarely in the sinister/evil range.

"And now, without further ado, we shall rob you!"

Henchman One and Henchman Two started forward, but stopped abruptly, fingers pressed to their ears. They turned as one and said simultaneously, "Boss! Captain Evil-Shall-Prevail-Not is on the way here!"

"Captain Evil?! We must flee!" Evillain turned and ran for the door, followed closely by his henchmen. There was silence in the bank. No one dared to move. It was then that Samuel spotted the black box on the floor, and recalled the words spoken earlier by Evillain. Time slowed to a crawl. Samuel bounded forward, hands outstretched, reaching for the box. He would defuse the bomb! He would save everyone! He would be a hero! He --

The bomb exploded.

*

A crowd of reporters had gathered at the front of the building, where the caped man stood in his costume emblazoned with countless figure-8s.

"Who are you, sir?" one reporter asked, thrusting his microphone towards the man.

"I... am Infinity Man!" the caped man intoned.

"What's your superpower?" Another reporter jostled his way to the front of the pack.

At this, Infinity Man looked slightly flustered. "Superpower? Er... I know where the Infinity Rod is," he said at last.

"Well that's great, but what's your superpower? Eyebeams? Freezing breath?" There was no reply. The reporter frowned. "So let me get this straight. You fell on top of the Grandma(tm) bomb, absorbing its deadly radiation and saving everyone else, but the only power you got was the ability to tell where the Infinity Rod is?"

Infinity Man thought for a moment, then nodded. "That's about it."

"So what's the Infinity Rod? What does it do? Does it have eyebeams? Freezing breath?"

Infinity Man shrugged. "I don't know what it is. I just know where it is."