SciFi and Fantasy Stories
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'Near to Dreams - Part I'


 
 

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Click For MoreDocument 19 out of 37 by Liz Verde.

SciFi and Fantasy Stories: Near to Dreams - Part I

Here is the first chapter of my nanowrimo story. Rayne has always wondered about the hurricane that landed her family on an island that no one has ever heard of. Newly motherless, she is welcomed into the tribe by almost everyone, but there are those who don't like her because of certain gifts that develop the longer she is there. Now, 15 years later, another hurricane is about to disrupt Rayne's life.

April 2007

WARNING: This piece is in the process of being re-written. As each new chapter comes up, I'll post it separately from the existing chapters until I've finished re-writing the existing pieces.

    Main Category: [High Fantasy]
    Sub-categories: [Spaceships, Ships, Vessels, Transportation...] [Magic and Sorcery]

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Chapter 1
The Hurricane
____________________________

Sweat trickled its way down Cale’s back as he straightened up in time to catch his daughter racing past him with a group of friends from the village, her adopted wolf cub, Kair, growling at their heels.

Hair whipping behind her as she played, Rayne was the picture of youthful vitality. Cale thanked the Gods that she had yet to enter the trying stage of rebellion that most teenagers her age went through.

Watching her wrestle with the boys and trying to avoid Kair’s sharp teeth when they got too rough, Cale wished her mother were still alive. Some things were awkward for a father to talk about. Rayne was old enough now for boys to notice her for reasons other than her wrestling skills, though she showed no inkling of realizing that fact. Cale was grateful for that blessing. What would he say to her when she invariably brought up the subject of courtship and marriage? How was he supposed to explain to her that he and Lily never meant for her to be raised here, that it had all been an accident of the weather?

Cale well remembered the first night he’d held Rayne in his arms. So small and fragile, her big blue eyes had blinked up at him and from that moment on he was lost. She still had the big blue eyes and the ability to wrap him around her finger, but she wasn’t so dependant. Cale missed the days when he could fix whatever was wrong with a kiss on the forehead and a few words.

Watching his daughter pin one of the boys in the dirt, he wondered what his old society might make of her.



Scrambling to her feet, Rayne chuckled, flicking her chestnut braid over her shoulder as Motumbo spat dirt and moss from his mouth. It served him right for insinuating that girls couldn’t contend with boys in matters of strength.

Grinning over her shoulder, she waved off the invitations to join others in their various pursuits and called Kair. The forest was beckoning.

“Rayne –”

She turned at her father’s voice, smiling up into his concerned brown eyes as he grasped her shoulders.

“Don’t wander too far, a hurricane is coming in and it won’t be long before it gets dark.”

Nodding, she kissed him on the cheek and hurried down the path, Kair a furry shadow at her heels.

The sweet trill of birdsong colored the air with vibrant strokes as Rayne and Kair wound their way past boulders and waving aspens and firs. The trees seemed to be holding their breath, their leaves barely rustling as they awaited the first gusts of the hurricane.

Jogging the short distance to the eastern edge of the forest, Rayne easily locating a particularly multi-branched tree. Leaving Kair on sentry duty, Rayne hoisted herself into the boughs. She loved to climb into the cradle of flora and watch an approaching storm. It was also a wonderful spot from which to daydream.

Making herself comfortable as she used the trunk for a backrest, she gazed out at the sparkling expanse of blue. The ocean fascinated Rayne, with its changing tides. She loved watching the constant dance between the waves and the shore.

The first blast of cold air slapped its dewdrop-laden fingers against her flushed cheek, bringing with it the musty scent of rain. The leaves about her twirled to the music of the wind and even the branch on which she perched sighed and danced, making Rayne’s stomach squirm as she secured a firmer grip.

The birds, sensing the incoming menace, returned to their nests and burrows, leaving Rayne to the enjoyment of the environment’s symphony. Whipped by the wind, the waves pounded the shore harder, the percussion beat to the forests melody.

Closing her eyes, Rayne stretched her head back, arching her neck as she reveled in the glory of nature. If only she were a bird, she would stretch her wings and soar through the highest depths of the sky, so close to the sun that she would be able to see it smile at her foolishness.

Looking back down, she caught a glimpse of an odd object trying to limp ahead of the oncoming tempest. Blinking her eyes in disbelief, she squinted at what could only be a boat, but of a type she had never seen before. She had to tell her father. There was no possibility they would make the safety of the island before nature’s wrath struck them.

Clambering down as fast as her agility allowed, Rayne raced toward the village. Ignoring the pain of the occasional sharp stone pricking her foot through the moss, she concentrated on her breathing and pumping her legs as fast as they could go.

Her father remained where she had left him, skinning the kills made earlier that morning. Halting in front of him, Rayne doubled over, gasping as she fought to catch her breath. Looking from her to Kair pacing anxiously, he put down his knife.

“What’s the matter? Have one of the boys fallen from a tree again? Did Kair kill an animal?”

Rayne shook her head to both. “Is it possible to trap clouds?” she asked, changing the subject.

“No.” He relaxed a bit, a bemused smile curving his lips. “Whoever told you that, Abeni?”

“I saw it.” That got his attention, Rayne mused as his gaze snapped down to focus on her.

“What did you see?”

“A boat. It’s much larger than the ones the villagers use and it is coming toward the island, just ahead of the hurricane. It has clouds tied to posts.” Rayne watched her father’s eyes widen.

“Impossible.” His eyes mirrored the disbelief in his voice, yet Rayne thought she saw fear lurking in the depths of his gaze. “No one even knows this island exists.”

“They could have blown off course. Their ship looks like it has been wounded. Maybe they came up against some coral in a shallow area?”

Her father hesitated; a cryptic silence falling that Rayne couldn’t interpret.

“But what about the white things I saw. If they aren’t clouds – which they didn’t really look like – what are they?”

Her father continued to stare into the distance until she was forced to reach out and pinch him on the arm to focus his attention.

“What?” He asked absentmindedly.

“The clouds?”

“Oh. They’re called sails. Larger ships use them to cross great distances. The sails catch the wind and push the ship so that paddles are not needed. It must be a galleon ship, to have made it out this far. Did it have many sails?”

Rayne thought back and nodded.

Turning, her father made to walk away, but hesitated, turning back to face Rayne, his features stern.

“You are to remain in the village, do you understand me?”

Rayne nodded.

“Help whoever needs it to secure everything that might be tossed about in the winds and then wait for me at the hut. I shouldn’t be long.”

“Can’t I come with you?”

“No,” he refused, adamantly. “It’s too dangerous with the storm coming in and we probably won’t get back until after dark. Don’t wait up.”

His words were drowned out as thunder rolled overhead.

“What!” Rayne yelled over the whistling wind and Kair’s abrupt howl. Her father grabbed her shoulders and pushed her in the direction of the hut they called home, yelling something she couldn’t make out.

Batting the straggles of hair that had been tugged from their moorings, Rayne fought the force of the wind to her hut, stopping to ask Jendayi if there were anything she could do. When she shook her head, Rayne gratefully stepped into the familiar one room hut, her ears ringing in the sudden quiet. Kair, happy to be out of the oncoming storm, padded over to her pallet and curled up, his nose tucked beneath his tail.

Thinking of the rain that would surely fall in a short while, Rayne grabbed a clay bowl from the corner and placed it under the hole in the roof her father had yet to fix. Grabbing a few small twigs, she fed them to the flames in the dirt pit at the center of the room before searching for ways to distract herself.

For the first hour she tried to occupy her mind by weaving a basket, but that only lasted until she poked her finger one too many times and gave up in frustration. She was far better at the masculine pursuits of hunting and tracking.

Grabbing a fruit she had picked earlier, Rayne curled up on her pallet, trying to ignore Kair’s perked ears and alert eyes focused solely on her food. With the heaviness of a full belly and the heat radiating off of Kair, she eventually fell asleep, the light created by the fire casting shadows that danced across the walls.



Kair’s whining woke Rayne sometime later. Listening quietly as she tried not to concentrate on the inky black cage pressing in on her from all sides, she made out the murmur of voices coming from the other side of the wall. Kair was up and at the door as soon as she moved, scratching to be let out. Opening the door, she was momentarily blinded by the torches that had been set up to illuminate a sea of busy activity. Groups of women huddled over lumps of shadow around the central fire while those who had traveled to the coast with her father hurried about, retrieving objects as they were needed.

A hand grasped her shoulder and Rayne jumped, whirling to face Wotsu’s kind eyes smiling down at her as the light from the flames illuminated his dark features.

“Your father is over there.” He pointed to a spot just on the other side of the fire where heads were bent in an intense discussion.

Giving his fingers a squeeze of gratitude, Rayne made her way to where her father stood. Kair, unable to remain in one spot with so much activity going on, rambled off to explore.

Having moved about, she could now see that the shadows the women bent over were men, with skin as pale as her own. They must have come from the same place. Rayne watched as Abisola treated an unconscious man with a deep gash on his forehead. The wispy blond hair that had escaped its thong had been swept back from his brow to allow better access to the wound. He had fine features, with high cheekbones and a strong jaw. His nose was thinner and pointier than those she was used to seeing, more like her fathers than the other members of their tribe.

Looking about, she saw that others had bruises and burns along with their scrapes, though none looked too serious. Judging by the groans and the odd angle of the arm of one who looked to be but a lad, Rayne guessed the bone was broken. Seeing Tatsi kneel next to him caused her to cringe. Tatsi was an older woman with two grown sons and a heavy hand. She was not a person Rayne would welcome at her bedside if it were she who was injured. Maybe she could do the boy a small favor, since setting bones was about one of the few medical tasks she was accomplished at.

Crossing the short distance, she gently touched her fingers to Tatsi’s shoulder, stopping her from grasping the arm.

“I think Ghali needs help mixing a poultice for her wound. I can take over here.”

Glancing up, Tatsi gave a smile of relief and got up to assist Ghali. As Rayne took her seat, Kair came bounding over, poking his curious nose into her face until she had to shove his head out of the way. Smiling her apology, she found herself staring into a frightened pair of blue eyes.

“What is that thing?”

Startled, Rayne glanced from the wolf to the lad. “Kair? Oh, he’s harmless. He sort of adopted me as his pack when I found him abandoned by his family.”

He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t protest when Kair settled down next to them to watch the proceedings.

“Thank you for stopping that woman. She looked like she might rather tear off my arm than mend it.” His voice rose with the strain of remaining conscious. He probably feared what might be done to his arm if he didn’t remain awake. Noting the smooth curve of his chin and neck, Rayne was certain the boy couldn’t be older than thirteen.

“Tatsi is a kind soul, but after raising sons as thick as hers, I’m afraid her hand isn’t quite as gently as it once was.”

Leaning down, Rayne examined the arm, careful not to disturb it.

“You have a gentle touch?”

Rayne smiled to reassure him. “I have been told that mine is not the worst hand to be treated by. You are lucky,” she began laying out the thin bark strips and branches Tatsi had the foresight to gather, “the bone did not break the skin. How did you break it?” she asked, trying to distract him from the pain as she grasped the unstable limb and began to shift the bone into place.

The boy screamed through his clenched teeth, eyes squeezed shut. Pausing to check the bones, Rayne grinned when she felt them line up. It had only taken her one attempt. Reaching for the strips, she proceeded to bind the arm.

“It’s a clean break and should heal straight, so long as you take care and refrain from using it.”

Rayne snuck a glance around to see if anyone was watching before holding her hand out over his forearm. In the brief seconds it hovered there, a little starburst of energy zinged from her palm to his arm and back. Her hand jerked at its return, and she clenched her fist. As she sat back on her heels, she watched the silver residue glowing about her forearm fade and was relieved to see his eyelids flutter open and a strained smile cross his lips. Reaching out her other hand, she gently wiped the sweat from his face, at which his smile broadened.

“The rail.”

“What?”

“I broke it when I was slammed against the rail of our ship. We ran aground.”

Rayne looked around at all the other wounded. “All this is from running aground?”

“Not all of it. That storm came upon us so fast, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“I have. We call them tempests – mother natures version of a fit.”

The lad chuckled.

“I’m Rayne, by the way.”

“Phillip.”

Rayne busied herself cleaning up the leftover bark and branches, chatting as she worked. “I’ve been at the receiving end of a tempest, much like yourself. I was too young to remember, but my father told me we were caught out at sea with great waves rolling over the ship like it were a mere twig.”

“You have lived here your entire life?”

Rayne nodded. “What’s it like, where you come from? My father never speaks about where he used to live except to say it is very different.”

“Well, I come from a small fishing village, unlike most of this lot. My parents sent me to become a knight of the King’s Royal Guard.”

“King?”

Phillip frowned, disbelief sparkling in his eyes as he floundered for a response. “The King is someone who makes all of the major decisions and whom everyone listens to and obeys.”

“Like a chief.”

“Exactly.”

“What’s a kn–” Rayne halted in mid-sentence as Phillip’s gaze focused on something over her shoulder. Turning, she saw her father striding toward her, a cross look on his face.

“I’ll just be a moment.”

Climbing to her feet, she waited as her father came to a halt in front of her. Glancing from her, down to Phillip, his lips pursed and he pulled her a ways away.

“I told you to wait for me at the hut.”

“You said not to leave the village and I haven’t. I heard voices and woke in the dark. I didn’t want to be alone. Besides, I can help here.”

Her father stared at the mess of wounded bodies. “I didn’t want you to see this.”

“Why? I’ve dealt with wounds before.”

“This is different. They’re–” he hesitated and Rayne, who thought she knew what he was getting at, filled in the silence.

“Like us.”

He didn’t answer, but she could tell that was what he had wanted to say.

“I thought I was ready to face what happened fifteen years ago but I’m struggling, even after all these years. And since that night, with your terror of the dark, I didn’t want to resurrect the unpleasant memories for you.”

“I’m alright Papa.” Rayne hugged him, letting her arms speak the words she had trouble finding.

His arms were still the most comforting place in the world; nestled secure against his chest, the rhythm of his heart a soothing balm to melt even her worst anxieties. She could remember having nightmares of when she was trapped in a dark room on the ship with no way of escaping as the deck rolled and bucked beneath her feet. She would wake crying, just as her father would pull her into his arms and rock her back to sleep.

Stepping back, she led her father over to Phillip and introduced them.

“My, you’re awfully young,” her father remarked, sounding impressed.

“I’ll be turning fourteen next month,” Phillip stated proudly.

“A lad ripe for adventure I’ll bet.”

“Yes, sir.”

Rayne smiled. She had seen her father boost men’s morale more times than she could count and she was still amazed at how he did it. She could have said the exact same thing and it wouldn’t have made a bit of difference to Phillip.

“It looks like they have everything under control here. We should get some rest.”

Rayne said her goodnights and followed her father and Kair to their home, wondering what new experiences tomorrow would throw at her.

 
 

DateNameComment 
19 May 2007:-) Linda M. Billson
Well, that was quite the subtle little hint of her power. 1 It makes me wonder just how powerful she really is. I'm not entirely sure how powerful she is either. But I did give her a restriction to her power ... the pain. So she is only as powerful as her own pain tolerance will let her be

The history behind this is great! And Rayne's understanding of the forest and, well, the entire island is well explained.

Aha! Somebody like Rayne and her father.

Tempests are very mean. Incredibly mean. The description of the coming storm was very vivid.

Good stuff! Moving on to number two!Go number two go! *dances* Right now I'm working on finishing chapter 11 ^_^
19 May 2007:-) Jess Hyslop
*first comment dance*

This is really good! I love your writing style - it's so fluid and natural, really draws the reader in. thank you ^_^ I work at it. This one came a bit more naturally than others have. And your descriptions are great too - not overdone, but quite enough to let me picture everything in my head! Lovely! I especially loved the bit where you described the coming hurricane - like a symphony - so poetic! *hands over cookies* it's wonderful that you liked that part. I was trying so hard to show everyone the way I feel watching a building storm, the fascination. I'm happy with the way that part came out, took me quite a while to nail it

My only crit would be that sometimes the dialogue seemed a little too... formal, I guess. What I mean is, some of the words didn't quite seem in character. For instance, when Rayne told Phillip to 'refrain' from using his arm. Of course, it makes sense and everything, but I thought that a young teenager would probably just say 'Try not to use it.' Do you see what I'm getting at? Of course, it's just a suggestion, and it's brilliant as it is anyway!Thanks for the suggestion, I definitely see what you mean, and it will be changed. I have a hard time with dialogue and making it seem natural and flow easily. Probably because I'm so shy that I have a hard time speaking myself a lot of the time. Or at least, speaking so that I make sense ^_^ Thank you for the encouraging comment
25 May 2007:-) Désirée Ruth Dippenaar
I liked this! The characters come across as real, and I like how Rayne and her father are so integrated into the island's society and way of life. For this piece I really wanted to try and get inside the characters heads so that they would have developed personalities that suited their character and the actions they did with the things they said. It has definitely been a challenge, and a lot of it hasn't turned out quite the way I had planned, but for an unedited rough draft, I'm pretty happy with the bare bones I have here.

I also like the way you described the approaching storm, though maybe it should be windier in the area, and the sky in front of the storm unusually clear. We get hurricanes (actually, typhoons) over here, and the first sign is always an extremely clear sky and very strong wind. But even as it is, I love the description of the storm already! ^^ Ooo, good suggestion. I shall have to work that in when I start editing this. I'm trying to leave that until the very end, after I have finished the entire piece. I have a tendency, as I found out with Desert Rose, to be a wee bit of a perfectionist when it comes to editing, and then I can't write more after that because it doesn't feel as good as the first parts. And Rayne's confusion of sails for clouds reminds me of Pocahontas somehow 10 that's actually where I took the inspiration from ^_^ That bit actually shows really well how long she's been away from people like her and her father, that she can't recognise sails. And she was also very, very young when she sailed the last time ... which I was trying a bit to convey with her only memory being the storm and nothing before or immediately after it.

"percussion beat to the forest[']s melody" *chirrups* there are always those ones that slip by the radar, even with grammar check

"more like her father[']s"

"her hand isn’t quite as gentl[e]" - I like this characterisation of Tatsi, it's brought in so subtly! Actually, I noticed here that most of the characterisation you do by showing, and less by telling all the background. Which is great!! ^^ Through no great talent of my own. That stuff just sort of popped in there and seemed to fit. Whenever I have specific ideas about something, it always seems like I'm telling instead of showing. These were random ideas that popped into my head just as I was writing them

"branches Tatsi had [had] the foresight" (at least I think it needs another 'had' there... not sure) Now that you mention it, it does sound like it needs another had there

"mother nature[']s version of a fit" - that said, I quite like this line 10 It does fit well to describe a tempest! Heh heh, me too. I can just picture her -although - why is nature always portrayed as a female? Ooo, I shall have to think of a way to incorporate a male father nature ... heh heh, oh that's going to be a weird story!

I'm glad I started reading this (took me some time to come...) and I'll be back to read chapter 2 sometime soon! ^.^YAY! I'm always happy that you enjoy my stories. I love finding specific plots that a majority of people seem to enjoy.
4 Jul 2007:-) Jeremy Whiteoak
I like it. So far so good. There was a word or two that I felt didn't really fit; I thought that flow was a bit stilted, but overall it had a good feel to it. I'm on my way to the next one right now.Thanks for visiting [hands out figs] Yeah, like I mentioned in the intro, this hasn't been edited at all, and is just as it came out, so there are definitely things that need to be fixed and touched up.
9 Oct 2007:-) Dragonflies2
((too long, sorry!)) You never have to appologise for a long comment, they're my favorites ^_^

I disagree with that comment up there about the language being too formal. This doesn't seem to be set in our times, so maybe it's in one of those times where it's courtesy to be that polite to strangers. Besides, if that's how she was taught to speak, then she would speak like that. She hasn't reached the age of rebllion yet, as her father mentioned, so wouldn't want to change it, wouldn't see the need. I think it adds to the reality and also the fantasy. But if you're going to change it, well, that's your choice ^_^ I might tweak parts of it a bit when I edit it ... just so the flow is continuous.

I like it. Very much so. And I see Phillip has a story to tell...which I am, of course, most eager to hear ;] ah, poor Phillip, always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Also, don't worry about replying to this straight away, I know you have tests, so no worries ^_^How are you doing hun? School keeping you busy?
9 Oct 2007:-) Dragonflies2
It's been months since I commented on a story, anywhere. Aw, I feel so special that you picked me!! [hugs] At least three months since I commented on any of yours. Feel free to come at me with weapons of mass destruction, fingernail pliers and hyperactive muses. ah, don't worry about that, I haven't exactly been as active as I would like to be either, so I don't think that I can blame you. Plus, I haven't really had anything new worth commenting on. Talking of muses, I got socks! [mert's head pokes up from the sock drawer he stowed away to the university in] [chirrups and tilts his head inquiringly] And hugs! [the meercat comes racing out] And candy! [lindsay comes racing out] Where are my favourites, Mert and Meercat? oh, believe me, they've been keeping me quite busy! Not very productive, but they've been thinking up a storm of ideas! Every moment of my Christmas break and summer are going to be crammed with writing ... so long as I can persuade them to stop brainstorming ideas and help me writ ^_^

I like the style of the writing. Just out of curiosity, how old is Rayne? I'm not sure where I put it in here exactly, but I know I hinted ... she was 3 when the shipwreck occurred and the time frame is 15 years later. You say that like you pronounce 'rain', right? Si senorita [curses her keyboard that won't let her use ... oh whatever those accent thingys are called Curious. I've a feeling that weather is going to be important in this story. If so, good foreshadowing. If not, a little intrigue is good for the audience anyway ;] I still don't have an absolute idea of where this one will end up ... I know where I'd like it to end up but then again, things I do never seem to end up in the exact place I meant them to be.

I don't know what it was about this chapter, but it seemed more thin compared to how I remember your stories and your style. You used to use detail in such a way that you imagined that you were there, that you could feel the wind whipping you and smell the bite of a storm in the wind as well as the characters. But this one seemed a little...basic, as though you were holding back with the details. Did you have trouble picturing it? Probably ... this is my nanowrimo project so I was more focused on getting the ideas out than exactly getting it right ... that's what the editing is for at the end ... which I'm still determined that I won't allow myself to do until after I have completely finished the first draft. This nano has been on hold for a couple months though ... maybe Christmas ... I sure seem to be saying that a lot! Or did you not want to burden the story with too many details, more content to make the style fluid? the former Because I like stories being fluid and simple, but I prefer being able to smell and taste and imagine so much more, you know? me too. I promise it shall be better once I can allow myself to edit.

Not that I'm being mean about the story I didn't think so, because it's drawn me in and obviously it's drawn you in too. You seem to find it easier to write this than DR and the gypsy stories mmmm, more of a case that I was forced to write it (before I got sick with the flu in the middle of the summer that is, [grumble]), not that it's easier. If I took DR and did a nano with it you would see chapters popping out of the woodwork for sure. (*grumblegrumble, witholds urge to beg for more DR which seems to have changed beyond recognition*) it has? how? which part? [curious] - but I bet you couldn't tell, could you? lol which is a good thing. [sigh of relief]

I love the opening. Fatherly love has always fascinated me, and the bit where he misses her dependency on him really made me smile. It seems realistic, which is what I like. I also love the metaphor of the storm being a symphony. That bit was truly beautiful. And the boat with clouds. That made me giggle. I've never actually seen it myself, how sails look like clouds, but I know many others do so it's easy for me accept. I also like the language style this is written in. It makes me think of old England, heh ^_^

How did she find the tree? Does she often go into the forest? How did she find Kair? How old do children have to work in this tribe? Do women have equal standing? Why was his family accepted into the tribe, despite the audience getting the feeling that they appear to be very different? Did he ever get any problems, and was the loss of his wife one of them?

You have some beautiful pesonifications, metaphors and similies in here. Absolutely beautiful.ah, so many questions, that's good, means there's an interest ^_^! A story that invokes no questions isn't a good one in my opinion ... or maybe not that it isn't a good one, but that it is too predictable. But I shall get back to these questions, it's 11pm and I must get to bed, early morning tomorrow and a VERY long 12 hour day at school. Love!
2 Dec 2007:-) Stephen "Werepenguin" Cauley
This was great Lindsay! Unfortunately I don't have time now to read the other installments, but I shall return! You have a great amount of talent!Thanks ^_^. The beginning of this story definitely needs tweaking but I really liked most of the imagery that I managed to squeeze out of myself ... now I just have to (once I go back to edit) convey that to the rest of the story.
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