SciFi and Fantasy Stories
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'Yshira Chapter 1'


 
 

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Click For MoreDocument 26 out of 28 by Liz Verde.

SciFi and Fantasy Stories: Yshira Chapter 1

The Yshira, ancient natives to the island of Shira, with their mystical mounts the Xetdaar, have been living under the opression of the conquering Helvicaans from the mainland for years. But they have a promise that one who will set them free and ascend the traditional matriarchal throne will come. The question is, when?

Karla has been kind enough to draw some of the characters, so go visit Nikoli, Arrek, Isabella, and Nausi on her page under and drawn cover art!!! . (you can find a link on my main page. For some reason, any links I try to put here don't work). Maybe if we're nice and beg lots, she'll draw more of the characters :D

Xetdaar: equine-like mount that has the capability of taking its bonded rider on the vil tur, the wild ride.

I just have to say oops. I've noticed a few errors, such as missed commas and such .. and one rather glaring one that bothers me: the use of terror twice to describe the horses reaction to the hunds. Kindly ignore that and I will fix it on my next update.

Updated December 2007

    Main Category: [High Fantasy]
    Sub-categories: [Fights, Duels] [Other Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters] [Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins] [Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers, Spellcasters] [Magic and Sorcery]

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Chapter 1
The Rescue
_________________________


The Fogshorn forest was idyllic this time of year with its expanse of lush green vegetation broken only by the occasional bursts of color put forth by the many native flowers. The maples of the forest were already tinged with crimson, proudly displaying the first blush of autumn as they waved their leaves in the light breeze.

Two horses shifted nervously amongst the dappling shadows, their riders oddly stiff and silent atop their backs. Something was coming; the very air, laden with the scent of pine needles, vibrated with it.

Nikoli, his hazel green eyes squinting in concentration, turned his nose to the wind. It came to him like a thought in the dead of night just as sleep eases its claws about you. The musty scent that trickled into his nostrils spilled fear into his heart as his ears picked out the distant baying call over the wind.

Turning stricken eyes on his companion, Nikoli's hand dropped to the sword belted at his side as his mind raced. They hadn't taken anything; no one had even known they had been there. So why were there hunds prowling the forest? Whom were they searching for?

It started in the distance but it wasn't long before the rustling in the bushes was only a few feet beyond the glen. As one, Nikoli and Callum's mounts backed slowly into the surrounding cover of the forest to wait and watch. A hawthorn bush at the far end of the clearing rustled as a figure swathed from head to toe in what might once have been a white dress emerged, stumbling over a tree root. Regaining her footing, she raced off down an invisible path, checking over her shoulder in panic. It was clear to Nikoli that this woman was what the Helhunds were searching for and she knew it, too.

Then the hunds came. Their stench hit the riders first; of rotting meat left for days in the boiling sun. Their mount's eyes rolled, nostrils flaring as they bounced on their hind legs, blind with terror. Then they came into view, slinking stealthily from the foliage. Red eyes gleamed out of black canine skulls, decayed flesh swinging from where it clung to the burnt bones. The remaining body parts painted a less than appealing picture. Everywhere you looked, bones poked through the rotted flesh, backlit by the slight glow of the runes that brought a semblance of life to the decrepit flesh. Their noses were raised to the wind, snuffling wetly as they tracked.

Nikoli was almost about to let out a sigh of relief when the last hund of the lot froze, turning its hulking head in their direction, nose in overdrive. Nikoli knew that the creatures had very poor eyesight but their sense of smell was phenomenal. He watched as a feral grin lit its unholy features and it took a step towards them. Nikoli's breath froze in his chest and he watched helplessly as it advanced. Bile rose in his throat at the creeping scuttle and freeze motion that was characteristic of the creature. It reminded him of a spider and he detested spiders.

Just when he thought he would have to let Romathin have his head and make a run for it, a jarring howl from the distance broke the creature's rancid stare and it turned, returning the call as it raced after its brethren; they had caught the girl. Now the question was whether their orders were to bring her back dead or alive.

"Come on!" The man beside Nikoli said determinedly, turning his mount in the direction the hund had disappeared as he kneed it into motion. They reached the edge of the clearing before he realized that Nikoli wasn't behind him. Nikoli sat exactly where he'd been before, his face frozen in shock.

"Nikoli, we can't let them get her, no matter what purpose they want her for."

"Are you crazy?" Romathin shifted nervously underneath Nikoli, uneasy at the tension radiating down through his rider's body. "That thing almost attacked us and we were just sitting here. What do you think it'll do if we actually interfere? And don't go spewing that old obligation gospel again; she didn't ask anything of us so we have no obligation and no binding."

"If that's your choice, I can't change your mind but I can't sit here and do nothing. I took an oath to destroy Zaedir and I plan to do everything in my power to fulfill it." And kneeing his stallion, the man called Callum turned and raced off toward the baying in the distance. It only took a few moments before Nikoli, torn, sent Romathin racing after him.

The way was difficult, hindered by low branches and fallen logs. The Xetdaar's hooves resounded through the forest with dull thuds that were only matched by the frenzied cries of the hunds. As they rode into view it became apparent why they were so excited.

The woman, in an effort to escape the beasts, had climbed into a maple and stood twelve feet up, clinging to the trunk with sheer terror on her face. The hunds, oblivious to the two new humans, circled the base of the tree, leering grins on their faces. Every couple of moments one would launch itself at the trunk, claws scoring the bark as it snapped at the air.

~*~


Cold sweat broke out on Rihani's face as her fingers bit into the bark of the trunk, splinters embedding with pricks into her callused hands. The chorus of howls rang out like maddened laughter, raising goosebumps along her cold skin. It didn't matter that the forest was soaked in the suns rays for terror chilled her body.

How long could she remain conscious? The creatures that prowled below had been tracking her for the past five days and they didn't look as if they were about to depart anytime soon. Her lack of food and the flight from the waterfall had begun to take their toll and her body trembled with fatigue, and an overwhelming hunger and thirst.

Rihani knew with a cold certainty that if she survived this she would be forever haunted by these creatures' unnatural howls.

A yell rent the air and Rihani jerked her head so fast her body tipped precariously on its perch, causing her to scrabble desperately for the nearest branch, scratching her already lacerated hands. Two forms hurtled out of the surrounding bushes with a crash, swords glinting in their hands. Rihani's heart nearly stopped at the sight of this new foe as her brain raced to form a new plan for her escape.

The creatures below had stopped their prowling at the ringing cry and stood flank-to-flank facing the newcomers. Rihani watched in astonishment as, with an odd swinging movement and terrifying suddenness, the foremost of the three stepped sideways and lunged at its attackers. Nothing had ever moved so fast. Little more than a blur of decayed fur, it sprang clear of the earth and tore into the nearest man.

But it missed, the creature the man sat astride slipping through its clutches like sand through a clenched fist. The creature landed, its claws scoring deep gouges in the soft earth. Whirling with scarcely a moment's pause, it sprang at its prey a second time, this time joined by its brethren.

Its flight connected with the chest of the man's mount, causing it to scream in fury as it lashed out with its hooves to dislodge the creature's jaw from its neck. There was a sickening crack as the hoof connected with the hound's leg and it dropped off, its leg bending oddly as it struggled to support the body.

Flecks of red-black blood marred the crystalline white of the horse's coat but it seemed to take no notice of its injury as it advanced on the hound, bouncing onto its hind legs with little kicks to keep the creature away, its breath coming in huffs, nostrils flaring.

Rihani could see that there wasn't much room amongst the trees for the men to maneuver their mounts and her breath caught in her throat, choking her, as a hound caught the stockier man's arm in a lunge, nearly unseating him. The man must have had a dagger hidden up his sleeve for no sooner had the hound latched onto his arm than it went limp, the demonic red light leaving it as it collapsed to the forest floor. No blood pooled out beneath the creature and when Rihani looked at the man's face, she saw surprise and confusion there for there was no blade in either of his hands.

She watched him inspect first the carcass, and then the shadows of the trees around them. When he froze, she followed his gaze to find a hooded figure twenty feet away. She couldn't see anything of the person's face, shadowed as it was by the hood, but from the direction of the hood was pointing, it was staring at the hound the man with the wavy black hair was grappling with.

Her heart clenched as she spotted the third hound slinking its way up behind the man's horse, its features maniacal. Before she could call out any kind of warning, the man's horse kicked out, trapping the hound between its hooves and the trunk of the tree with a squelch. The hund stood there for an instant after it was released and Rihani only had time to observe the crushed thorax before the black hazy light that seemed to emanate from somewhere within its decayed chest went out with a snuff and the thing collapsed upon the ground. When she searched for the remaining hound it, too, lay lifeless upon the ground; the hooded figure seemed to have disappeared.

"You can come down now," the burly man with the short-cropped dark brown hair sticking out in all directions called up to her. "There were only the three of them."

The leaves of the tree rustled as she picked her way down the trunk. She was careful to have both hands securely wrapped around each branch before she moved either of her feet. The shaking of her limbs, which had ceased while she was engrossed in the battle had returned with a vengeance and if she wasn't careful she could easily tumble from her precarious perch.

When her feet were safely on the ground and her back to the trunk, she inspected each of the men. The stockier man sat slightly taller in the saddle and had a pleasant, albeit slightly disfigured, face. She took note of the kind brown eyes so at odds with the crooked nose and long jagged scar that suggested a fighter. The second man looked more capable of violence with his dark-ringed green eyes that stared stonily out from an angular face. He sat rigidly atop his mount as it shifted nervously.

Up close, the stunning animals looked even more magnificent, with coats of the purest white and manes and tails to match. Intelligence sparkled in the river-blue depths of their eyes. Drawn to this, Rihani stepped forward without a thought to the possible danger to herself.

The burly man's mount lowered its muzzle as she neared, its mane sweeping forward along its arched neck to frame its delicate face. Having let him inspect her hands first, she ran them up along the underside of his jaw, wondering at the silkiness of the coat. This was certainly the softest mane-hair she had ever felt; it reminded her of a puppy's first coat, more fluff than hair and soft as a cloud.

Caught staring into the horse's hypnotizing eyes, she was startled to hear its rider speak. She'd been so entranced and they so quiet that she'd forgotten they were even there.

"We'd best get moving. Once Zaedir realizes they aren't coming back, which won't take long, there will be more of them." Rihani saw him cast a nervous glance at the woods where the mysterious hooded figure had appeared.

She could hear the truth in his words and she also thought she heard a hint of humor as well. When he met her eyes, she saw them dancing merrily though his face remained stern. Without wondering why she did so without first questioning the safety, she accepted his proffered hand as he hoisted her onto the horse's back. It wasn't as if she had much choice in the matter; he could just carry her off if it was what he wanted to do.

"I'm Callum, that's Nikoli. Wrap your arms about my waist and hold tight. Try not to squeeze Nightshade too tightly with your legs. He's not such a fan of that fashion of riding."

"I'm Rihani," she said tentatively and saw the corner of his mouth turn up in a smile.

Callum, she tested the name in her mind. It suited him. He shifted his weight forward a bit on the cloth pad she supposed they used instead of a saddle and Nightshade swung around in response. Rihani marveled at the toned muscles bunching and releasing beneath her as Nightshade broke into a trot. She had lived her entire life around horses but never had she had the privilege of riding them.

"Where are we headed?" she asked, knowing that it was probably a pointless thing to ask since she wouldn't know where that place was anyway.

"The Yerik River."

Rihani got an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach, as if a lead weight had been dropped rather heavily into it. "Would this river happen to have a waterfall?"

"Farther north than we are going, yes." Nightshade was now at a rocking canter and Rihani felt herself blushing as she fought to keep her hips from smacking against Callum's backside. As a result, she got rather tossed about and nearly fell off.

"Let your body rock with Nightshade's movements. If you sit like that he'll likely get annoyed and use the next low hanging branch to knock you off and me with you." Ignoring his strange choice of words, she struggled to relax her body and match the horse's movements. It was harder than it looked and her admiration for riders increased infinitely. If this was half as uncomfortable for Callum as it was for her he certainly had her admiration.

"Now, we'll need to cross the river before nightfall, so we must pick up speed. Make sure you're holding tight and you may want to close your eyes for this."

Rihani's why ended in a muted scream as Nightshade shot forward with the other horse following close at his heels as the world exploded.

 
 

DateNameComment 
24 Dec 2006:-) Beth Alice O´Leary
[itches to correct American spellings to the English way] you shall put in the random letters, damn you! 10 It's funny. I'd always been taught in high school that you could spell it either way, but in elementary school they got us to spell the words without the 'u's, and it just kinda stuck. Not until very recently did I find out that, even though I thought I'd been spelling them the canadian way (which also happens to be the british way) I was wrong. So I'm definitely trying to fix that ... it may take a while though.

“What seemed to be two horses” – Hmm, to me that doesn’t quite make sense; how can something seem to be two horses? Maybe “two foggy shapes which seemed to be horses” or something, that way it’s plural both times, but I’m not even making sense to myself here. Someone help me out?! I completely understand. What I was trying to convey (but turned out poorly) is that they aren't horses. But I just realized that at the distance the reader would be "seeing" from ... you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. So I'm just going to change it to horses and leave out the seemed to be.

“The very air, laden with the scent of pine needles vibrated with it.” [the Comma does a little dance to ‘Jingle Bells’ before wriggling in between ‘needles’ and ‘vibrated’, handing Lindsay a mince pie to make up for the intrusion] [pats cute little comma on the head and hands it a cookie for noticing the mistake]

“So why were there hunds prowling the forest, whom were they searching for?” – I’d either make that two sentences instead of one with a comma, or say ‘and’… Heh, whom is such a funny word [pets it] [whom wiggles around in glee] yes, it is quite a funny word, it's fun to use. [grins]. Yes, I do see your point [scribbles in margins]

Ohh, I adore the helhunds.[gets worried look on face] I mean, I don’t really, since they seem horrible [relieved], but you describe them wonderfully and the concept is great [wiggles at praise]… And as soon as you compared their movement to a spider you had me loathing the disgusting creaturesaren't spiders disgusting?! Someone once mentioned to me that the reason so many people hate spiders and no other insect is because of their scuttle and freeze movement-like patterns, and that stayed with me ever since. And when you sit and watch a spider with that in mind, it's so true!.. But is their flesh permanently rotting? I'm not too sure if it's permanently rotting. I think that (because they're technically dead and it's just magic that is moving them) their flesh is rotted, and it won't decompose anymore, their bodies are kind of in a stasisAre some of them just plain skeletal? Hmm.... I guess they could be skeletal. The ones that were hunting her this time had flesh, so they weren't dead too long. But I suppose that if they were left long enough before they were used bones would be all that would remain. I'll have to encorporate that later in the story [tucks lightbulb away for further use]Who tells them what to do?aha [mysterious grin] that you'll have to wait to find out How can they be controlled?sorcery. I'm not sure if I explained it well enough in the chapter (can you let me know if I didn't?) but they aren't brought back by sorcery. Someone who wants them to perform a task brings them back with sorcerors runes (hence the one implanted in the middle of their chest). Oh the questions! Heh. This world intrigues me, I can’t wait to find out more about it.I'm so glad it's intruiging. Hopefully I'll be able to keep the rest of the world just as intruiging. Originally the story was quite different but then I wondered why I didn't try making it a little darker than I usually write, with some different, more bleak challenges for the characters. And so this developed.

“Bile rose in his throat as he watched the creeping scuttle and freeze motion that was characteristic of the creature.” – shouldn’t it be ‘creep, scuttle and freeze’ instead? Hmmm ... I'm not sure. I'll have to ask around. I'm kind of partial to the way it is already ... because the scuttle and freeze motion is "creeping" ... but I'll see if it sounds better the other way.

Oh, the poor woman in the tree… That was pretty clever though. I was begging her to sprout wings somehow and fly away – what an interesting twist that would be..![ponders for a few seconds before realizing that it wouldn't fit with the rest of the story and slumping in her seat in defeat]

Goosebumps is one word, methinks.warg! the spell checker didn't catch that!

“creatures’ unnatural howls” – [wipes a tear from her eye] Lindsay, my dearest, look at the beautifully placed apostrophe! I’m so very proud… and more than a little bit envious… [scuffs toe while trying to decide if she should reveal the truth] grammer program on my computer helped me on that one. Normally I'll write something and then go and change all the comma's and apostrophes, but when I wrote it that way it didn't change it, so I knew it was write. I just love this computer!

Hmm, you seem to randomly oscillate between calling them ‘hunds’ and ‘hounds’… ahhh, there's a clue there. If you read carefully, who calls them hunds and who calls them hounds? [grin]

“There was only the three of them.” – I think ‘was’ should be ‘were’. I'm glad someone else thought so too! But the grammer check didn't change it. yay, I guessed something write for once!

“she ran them up along the underside of his jaw wondering at the silkiness of the coat.” – [Comma coughs and sits down between ‘jaw’ and ‘wondering’] [pats absentmindedly]

“After all, it wasn’t as if she had much choice in the matter. He could, after all,” – two ‘after all’s! warg, there's another one of those. When I read through it on the internet after it'd been posted I caught a few of them, one having been mentioned in the synopsis. Thanks for pointing that one out

Oh, you must write more, I’m quite fascinated – will you bring Callum or Nikoli out onto my main page to talk to me sometime?[looks over inquiringly to find Callum grinning and nodding his head while Nikoli looks skeptical] umm ... [shuffles away slowly with computer clutched to chest as Callum eyes it] I think I can manage it. ^_^ You have such a talent for creating other worlds, as I’m sure you’ve been told before. This is a fantastic start, let me know when there’s more!for sure! Now that my ticket lock is up and the house is nic1e and quiet again I can get to work on the next installment. So very excited that you liked it!
26 Jan 2007:-) Linda M. Billson
Yay! I love horses. Ah yes, horses seem to come up in all of my stories .... a piece just doesn't seem complete without them.Even Not-Quite-Horses are great. And your creations seem beautiful. It made ME want to run my hands over the silky jaw and mane. You write pictures that I can see as clear as day, if that makes sense.

Helhunds. *Shivers* [joins in the shivering]They are so creepy! So are spiders, for that matter.

Ooo- hooded, mysterious figures are always cool. Who was it? Who? *Dies from the wonder of it all* [races over and pats cheek] nononono, you can't die! Who'll read the next installment if you aren't here? [begins CPR]

There was one thing I noticed a few times. In a few areas of the story you said "mans" instead of "man's"...dreaded apostrophes. Oh how I hate grammer, it's the thing I'm worst at, second only to math! A "man's horse" or a "horse's eyes"...the apostrophe shows...ownership, I guess. I forget exactly where those things were, so I'm afraid I'm no help whatsoever. :/

So, this story has me wrapped around it's little finger. Let me know when there's more coming!For sure! Glad you liked it so much!
27 Jan 2007:-) N. E. Thrower
Linda reminds me of Amy.Hmmm ... I'll have to entice ami to come read my stories then! 1

this i have also read, but for pleasure and not for crits. sorry, it's a new thing i'm trying. Don't have to appologise

'The Fogshorn forest was idyllic this time of year with its expanse of lush green vegetation broken only by the occasional bursts of color put forth by the many native flowers. The maples of the forest were already tinged with crimson, proudly displaying the first blush of autumn in the light breeze. ' - if you change it to present tense then i would half-expect to see it in a brochure for the place hehe. [grins]

'The very air, laden with the scent of pine needles vibrated with it.' - yay! you used scent! I'm so proud! sorry, it's something i keep prodding people to do, but they never take the advice... I had you in mind while I was writing it, so I was determined to include scent in there somehow! You should see the new one I'm working on, a lot of it is sounds ... I'm trying to branch out from just writing visual ... hey, maybe I should try writing a short story completely in the perspective of one sense ... that would be kinda neat?!

'hunds prowling the forest, whom were they searching for?' - i don't know why, but the comma seemed a little odd here. i think maybe an 'and' would work better. *sees something below* darnit! Bethie got that one! hmmm..*reads all of Bethie's comment* i shall find something different now *sticks her tongue out at Bethie's comment and her oh-so pretty Comma*

'As one[,] Nikoli and Callum’s mounts backed slowly into the surrounding ' - without the comma it makes me think of just one Nikoli...

'The rest of the body wasn’t any better' - okay, this may seem a bit nit-picky of me, but...you had such beautiful description, it was just lovely to read! and then this sentence. it just sounded too informal for the rest of the tone of the piece. Maybe say something like, ' the rest of their bodies painted an even less appealing picture'. or something..

'It reminded him of a spider, and he detested spiders.' - me too! vile little things, aren't they? scuttlers.. Oh man, I HATE spiders! One day I was leaning against the doorjam waiting for my dog to go to the bathroom so I could head to bed and I look over and inches from my face is a wolf spider. I jumped so high! lol

'...his rider[']s body. “That...'

oh dear...oaths are such pains...why ever would one make an oath? For the return promise 1

'It[']s flight connected it with the horse-like [is the horse not actually a horse then? *confused*]Yep, definitely have to polish up this section a bit! 1 Herm ... how to explain without giving too much away. The next chapter explains it a little better ... I think I'll wait until then. I'll just leave it at no, not entirely. chest of the man[']s mount[,] causing it to scream in fury [and] lashing...'

'...it[']s leg bending oddly as it..'

'...crystalline white of the horse[']s coat but it seemed to take no notice of it[']s injury...' remember possessives!! maybe i should get a Apostrohe.

'...chocking her as a hound caught the stockier man[']s arm...' - chocking? choking, do you mean? Lol, even I'll have to go back to my paper copy and check what I actually meant to type, lol

'and her back to the trunk[,] she inspected each of the men.'

*sighs* i shall ignore the rest of the possessives without apostrophes. though Apostrophe is not happy! *grins* I think I'm just going have to pluck up the courage one of these days and take a course specifically on grammer .... cuz I'm horrible at it. Though hopefully now my possessives will be sorted out! I'm trying 1

i do so adore this tale...but i can't see gypsies!! Hehe heh, that means you'll have to keep reading until it becomes clear ... which should be in the second chapter, although I'm not entirely sure because I don't know if the tribe will appear in that one or the third one .. haven't quite worked those details out yet since this other story has been demanding to be written.
6 Mar 2007:-) Désirée Ruth Dippenaar
Guess what. I STILL haven’t done German homework. [Uh oh, looks like your self control mechanism is as faulty as my own. Maybe we can send them back to the factory and get an upgraded model.] Cos it’s too hard and this story is too addictive. [Don’t you just love addictive storys? I’m always happy when I find a book that is so addictive that I lock myself away in my room and don’t come out for hours. But this is usually in the summer when I don’t have to agonize about homework.] You should put warning labels on your stories 10 just kidding

What an interesting chapter!!! I’m interested in finding out more about the characters, and why the helhunds were after Rihani. And there’s so many other questions in my head now it would be best for me to continue reading as soon as possible! *glares at German essay of which only the title has been done* Nono, German essay first!

If you want I can send you something my English teacher gave me about apostrophes ^^[Yes, please. I can always use help in that department.] If I find it that is. It’s a quite useful summary. But I find your grammar has really improved quite a lot! [^.^Yay, I’m glad it’s showing! I’ve been really working to try and make sure that the latest pieces I post up are coming out as grammatical-error free as possible.] Mean old grammar hahaha~ Be glad you don’t have to learn German grammar - because that’s a sure killer. [I don’t wanna even imagine how hard german grammar is! My friend Garret is from germany and we were actually talking about which language he thought was harder, and he said german grammar was definitely more difficult.]
30 Mar 2007:-) Sarah-amy haley
Utterly amazing description, especially the hunds, and the opening paragraph was beautiful - reminded me of cinnamon [The story by Becca or the seasoning?], but I can’t explain it. Your work is certainly very intriguing, though I’d like to know more about the first chapter.[*winks* but this is the first chapter. Don’t worry, the prologue will tie in ... though I’m not sure how soon it will happen.] Rihani’s really brave for the first time she’s ridden a horse (type creature) - I close my eyes even on a normal horse! [I can still remember the first time I rode a horse, boy did it ever feel weird. If it hadn’t been a western saddle, I probably would have panicked because it felt like I was falling off. Yes, she is quite brave, chased by these freaky creatures in a place she doesn’t understand, poor girl. I can be so mean to some of my characters.]
23 Feb 2008:-) Debbie Newcomb
pretty sweet, hommie. I agree, poor Rihani! i love your descriptions and such. ^_^

:-) Liz ´the'leasel´ Verde replies: "*Hugs* thanks Deb! I’m back from Uni now so more comment/writing-ness! Yay!"
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