Well, I finally got it done. The muchly revised edition of the second chapter of shadows. Go me. I hope you all like this one better than the first edition;)
This was another creative writing assignment. It was basically just 'describe something happening in a rainy city.' Of course... me being me, I HAD to turn it into something dark. The first version was only a paragraph long and was horrible. But before I turned it in again and I revised and and now it's over 3 pages long, at least that's how big it was when I turned it in.
Battle hardened vampiress discovers her sires death, her own ancestry, and a friend's treachery. ((The spell cast in this is entirely made up from my head. Any relation to any language or other made-up spell is entirely coincidental))
The loss of a dear loved one can be a terrible pain to endure. And it can drive a man to do painful, man, and irrational things as they try to cope with the loss. And when you offer him a chance to reverse it, he'll take it, no matter how unlikely or suspicious it may seem.The original version of this story was the best of '05 for me. As such, because it's an important story to me, it was one of the first I've done in this abysmally slow mass revision process. I don't know how all of you reading the story will react to it, but it was pretty difficult for me to write. Reason being, I've grown to know the characters involved rather well, so I know very well what they're going through here. But, unless you want spoilers before you've read, stop here. Even if you read the old Dark Deceptions, stop here and go read before you continue. SPOILER ALERT! ALL THE TEXT BELOW CONTAINS SUPER MEGA MASSIVE SPOILERS! READ THE STORY FIRST! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!Originally when I wrote this, it was just an excuse for a cool fight scene. Nothing more. Daniel was made up pretty much on the spot and Trenix was a very rough idea (and, to this day, still freaking lacks a reason for his actions). So, in other words, Daniel was just that guy who happens to be the main character's friend and turns evil, because, you know, that's what all the cool kids do. Hence, the whole plot, what little there was of it, was just a set up for a sword fight between them.However, since then, Daniel and Isaac have gone on to develop their characters far more. And, more importantly, their friendship. They've known each other since they were kids and could basically be considered to be BFFs. As soldiers, when you think of all they've gone through together training and fighting, Daniel suddenly turning on Isaac is a good deal more shocking. His mind twisted and corrupted by the magic of the altar, he attacks his horrified friend. I wanted to capture that emotion. The pain, the horror, the sorrow, the regret... At the very least, I did good enough that it came out very poignant for me, though for those who are not intimately familiar with Isaac and Daniel, I'm not sure if it hits them like that. And, in just a short story, it may not be possible to convey that those feelings as I feel them.I also made some other changes to the story. Trenix, rather than playing Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars Episode 3 in corrupting Daniel, acts far more subtle. Though not explicitly stated in the story, he places the magc in the altar, he appears to Daniel to spread the false myth, and then finally appears as the shade. I wanted him to appear again, but more on that in a bit. I also set the fight in the temple rather than have Daniel take out a military base. Reason being, one man taking on a brigade or more of soldiers and winning is just ridiculous. In the original story, the base was not a proper base, but more like a military hut considering it had maybe 20 soldiers, and such a thing would have zero influence over an area. Hence, for the same of logic, they now have a real-sized base. One other, major change is I show Erica's death. The old revision, I merely implied it.And the ending. Originally, I wanted Isaac to be giving a speech at Daniel's funeral, making up a story of him witnessing Daniel heroically covering Erica with his own in the shelling to protect her, but neither of them surviving. That way, Daniel wouldn't be regarded as a traitor, but would have honors. Only Isaac would suffer with the knowledge of what happened. Meanwhile, Daniel would still be alive, screaming in rage, with Trenix watching, thinking that while the original intent didn't work, things still ended in his favor. Why did I not include this? Simple: I liked the way it currently ends. It's a painful, sad ending; appropriate for the emotional charge I attempted to capture. As such, while I lose out on including a few other things to show that would have tied up a couple of loose ends, I think what I gain by stopping there works out.So, as always, comments and criticism is always welcome! While I feel the story is good, I don't think it's as great as it could be, so your opinions on that are appreciated!
I decided to break out of a rut, and try something completely different. So I got into a little challenge with Elfwood writer Leigh Erickson: If she could write about something OTHER than death, I would write a death poem! So here it is, about a fictitious Egyptian pharaoh named Chepankhtep (yes; I chickened out trying to come up with rhymes, so I left his name out of the poem! I hope it's exciting and fun . . . and has a twist. The Mexican mummies mentioned are no longer literally hanging around; they are in museums now. If you've ever seen the original 'Faces of Death', you've seen some of the Mexican mummies mentioned here. This is the very first attempt I've made at something this dark.
Um, this is Sano. Or, how I picture Sano's messed up mind. This is sick and I know it! >_< Especially since this is, like, a male vocal . . . If you're a girl, never try to get inside the mind of a boy or else something like this'll be produced!
I wouldn't go so far as to call this a gothic tale, but it should be close by the time I finish it. To go into depth would give away quite a bit of the story. After the intro (which I will not give any info) are two of the main characters. It is not stated early on that they don't know each other very well, but they don't. Romance knocks on each of their brass knockers, but whether it takes place is to be seen. This contains the Intro and Chapter 1.
chapter one of my novel, recently accepted for publication with a small print publisher, about a prince who learns that he might be a foretold seer of destruction.
A typically depressing poem. Fairly light, compared to my norm.
This is the story of Iron Tiger, a dragon/tiger panwere. In the darkness of the shadow of a cult called the Hybrus who kidnap lycans, or weres, will she be able to light the way out?
Introduction to a story I've been wanting to write forever. It's not really much but I hope it evolve into something much, much more.
The Queen gets shot at, Gwen saves the day (or at least the Queen's life) despite a hangover.Eldin doesn't thank her. Ingrate.Wow. I totally forgot I even wrote this scene. Junior High seems forever ago.
The nuclear weapon of the Elven world. Well, kinda. Okay, so maybe not at all.Still, it's about time the Queen actually did something.
Magami, a young, slightly shorter than average fighter, finds herself staying at an Inn after making a save. But there is more to the innkeeper and his daughter than meets the eye.
Chapter 2 of Led by Deception as Aubery confronts her father after discovering her mother had been an Elf.
This prequel in the United Armies of Clesia series deals with the formation of the Starlight Elite.
The Solar System of Clesia is in the middle of a Civil War. Deception abounds when one of the leaders of The United Armies of Clesia decides to hand the system over to the enemy.
Well, this is my first story that I've posted here that I've put under the High Fantasy category...even though (as always) it has it's horror elements. I've been working on this one for a while and will hopefully have part 2 done in a week or two. Also, I intend to put the original version of this on one of my websites, updates on that later. As always, I hope you enjoy this, and please leave comments!!
The first chapter of End Your Sorrow. I've basically used it as a set-up to introduce the characters. The format here will be used throughout the story.