Sactalari (Wow, what a fancy name for an introdution) The introduction to my story, 'Valley of View'. You get to meet the Narrator, a Sactalari who'd tell you his name if it weren't against regulations.
Noticed (Natasha pays a visit) The Deluya's poison has side effects, but they are nothing compared to the side effects of the cure. The youth's presence in Halecude is aknowledged by Morgana. Kai performs primitive healing and Natasha preforms her first astral stunt.
This began some time ago as a collaboration between my boyfriend and me. We split before I ever sent him the part of the document I had written, so everything here is my own material. Nothing here is his. A bit of background information on this piece: it is set in the near future, 2008 or so, in England. The main character and her species are my rendition of Vampires. I dont know if I'll do much more with this, but so far it interests me.
A myth we had to write for English class. I would really like it, except I think there's a large piece missing out of the middle. Maybe someday I'll get around to writing it.
This is a story I wrote in 8th grade. My teacher liked it and so did I. I'd like some advice because writing isn't my strongpoint.
Unicorn (Everybody has a weakness...) Kai and Steel discuss their differences, and run into a wounded unicorn. Steel is a man with many secrets; Kai learns of one such secret that she would have never guessed.
I don't know why no one is commenting on this poem. I actually think it is really really good. Especially considering I was running 103 degrees fever when I wrote it! It is a story about a small town that has been terrorized by a vicious dragon and the heros that attempt to save the town from it's plight. The hero who actually fells the dragon finds later there is something of beauty in everything, no matter whether we understand it or not. I would really REALLY like comments on this as I am considering compiling it with some other poems I have written and producing a kind of anthology and self publishing it for sale. Please be specific in your constructive critcisim but be prolific as well. I want to know what everyone thinks about it but am getting absolutely no response to this point! I recieved a comment on my email about my poem today, and they person was kind enough to point out a few issues and make some statements that made me think about my work. Thank you! But since he did not put his very insightful comment on the comments area, I am unable to make explinations here. Therefore I am loading this information into my description about my work, since so much of it is explaining why I did or did not do things a certain way. I don't have the liberty to put the contact information up here (that may be why it was not put into my comments) but I would really like to shed some light and explain where I am heading on my next update to this piece. Hey, ^__^ Yea, I know how it is when you write a poem or story, yet noone comes forward to critique it. But, I have only done minor work in poetry, and that is only random; I dont know the proper ways and stuff like that. As a general rule, I only like those that rhyme and flow smoothly and make some sort of sense. Happily, yours fits all three ^^ Just a few small things I can point out: -The line 'They gathered courage said the bard’s song.' doesn't sound right to me, it doesn't seem to fit with the above lines.. That line is a reflection that this is a story being told, not a live action by action telling. Since oral traditions were the way information was conveyed I set this in a lyrical setting to keep with that idea. The line can be edited, and I will look at it for possibilities, but the bard is still going to tell the story. -'Still not strong enough was their armor' has the same effect.. the above lines are strong, but the last one kinda lacks the same power.. oO; does any of this make sense? I believe I understand your point, however that was the smoothest way I could point it out. They were all killed, no matter how inflated or fancy they were armoured they were felled by the beast. I will keep working to find a new solution here, but I must say, it is the best I have been able to find yet. - What does 'And silently he coughed' mean? x.x When he is going into battle, he prays, screams, does all this, and I imagine him having alot of pent up nervous energy before tackling such a formidable foe. I know when I face something that makes me nervous I have a few ticks I instinctively do, and I think men have been doing that 'frog in the throat' half hearted little cough for centuries, eons, and forever. Sorry, this one is staying. - Why was the dragon asleep, when there were knights trying to slay it? If you notice the very first lines this took 7 days. Each knight on a seperate day. Therefore, I don't care how stalwart you are, you are going to have to sleep sometime, and that includes dragons. And besides, it was the only way my Scottish knight could sneak up on him without having a horse ;) And.. who is the dragon? ^^ sorry, lol. the first thing i thought, when i read this was, 'What about the dragon? What does it look like? why is it attacking?' blah blah blah.. general dragon fan stuff o.o Maybe it would be nice to add a part about the dragon, or maybe it suits the meaning of the poem that we know very little about the beast, and yet want it dead.. eh.. yeah. Well your last part of this comment hit it on the head. My point of this was they are wanting to kill something they don't fully understand. That is why the Scottish knight learns at the end of the poem everything is beautiful if we only take the time to learn, know, and understand it's motivations, and life. The rose symbolizes that beauty that still exists, even though the personage (or dragonage in this case) has long been dead. Basically, could it have been a protector, or did it have to be a terrifying item. We don't know cause they didn't take the time to know. I also avoided even minor decriptions because I feel everyone has thier own dragons, what they look like, how they feel about them, and everyone has thier own beasts. For me to make definate assumptions would have not only stifled some people's creativity but would have put too much knowledge about the fear into the story. 'The rain got heavier and the beast finally collapsed' --> from that line on, i think it improved a great deal. The scene of the knight and his lady together is very good, and strengthened in contrast to the typical shallowness of humans, how the villagers owe him their lives, yet really only celebrate their own safety, and leave soon after. (thats how it seems to me, anyway.) I would hope that is how it seemed to everyone. This is exactly what I tried to portray, and I thank you for the time to commenting. I would like to let you know, your comments are going to make this stronger, and I will be making a full edit soon. Anyhow, thats my ramblings. If they prove helpful, so be it, but it will probably only confuddle you.. x.X lol, yesh.. cya, -Raige (Kerry) THank you again! I hope this shows everyone I am very interested in your comments. Please leave me your impressions on this, my other stories, AND my artowork. Thank you.
i am fascinated by people who lead ordinary lives, day after day, until something happens and they become extraordinary...
Dreamer (Jay & Rartei ti Dakadekia) For those who are actually following my story, the suspence is finally broken. Kai sleeps while Steel touches Rartei ti Dakadekia, runs into an argumentative cleric and speaks to a nurse with the gift of Sight.
Jacqueline is a woman who has just come of age in English society. She has been introduced to the ton at her comeout and is a very big success. Her bland life becomes very interesting when the Earl of Srelanka announces a suprise betrothal... to her. It can only be a dream when she finds herself in a strange land with a mysterious satyr walking towards her through snow... right?
This is the second part of It's only a dream... In it the scene shifts to another part of this fantasy world that Jacqueline has found herself in. Towards the end, though, the scene again shifts back for the reader to see how Jacqueline is doing... briefly.
A 40min English assignment for my GCSE coursework. Criteria was descriptive and imaginative writing based on a urban myth. We own a pond, next to a road, and aproximately 300 years ago, some idiot managed to send a carriage and four horses straight into the middle of it. that is where the idea came from. I then did alot of elaborating on it.
If you liked this one, check my other poem written in Old English, Detached. These two are my favorites ^^
If you don't laugh at this one I'll take it as an insult. ;-)
I wrote this for my English class when I was 15. Long time ago, but I still like it.
This is the first part of a story based on a myth from where I was born in England. It is a great and dark story and has always grabbed my attention. Please read this story and then tell me off for overcooking the description.
Written in highschool (1998) in response to the teacher's assignment of 'write something paranormal'. The old english style was fun to write in as well. Translations of some of the more unusual words are provided in brackets at the end of the line.
An English essay i had to do for short stories. People said it was nice so i tot u might want to read it. And if u feel i need to finish the book for it just vote for it~ By the way, I have Re-edited the story to remove the typos and errors Do hope u all enjoy.