I have bettas, and felt the need to put them into a kind of creepy story. It was in my creative writing class at my new school, which is in a highly noncreative room, stark, and pure machine (man, I miss my old school, the old beautiful building that just screamed art) So, it -is- a little dry. I apologize. But I was thinking of the Irish idea of death. Kind of. It didn't really come out in the story, but close enough.
A traveller tries to take advantage of an austistic boy with an imaginery friend, but soon ends up regretting it... (German to English translations in brackets, at the moderators' insistance.)
Nynia, a young Celtic maiden, walks a world of madness, between the Christian and the Pagan. Between those worlds she finds..the Vampire. If the story sketch is popular enough, I'll turn write a novel version! So get your comments in now!
It's about an Irish family with an 'interesting' neighbor. (Go on! Read it!)
Another of my one-word titles. This one isn't one of my favorite, but it's alright. Again, any advice would be great.
I wrote this last year for an English assignment. It's a bit rough, I do have to admit and I'd like to write a new version. But now time! High school life is hectic! But, I love this piece and I actually got off my lazy butt to do research! LOL~;)
I don't know why no one is commenting on this poem. I actually think it is really really good. Especially considering I was running 103 degrees fever when I wrote it! It is a story about a small town that has been terrorized by a vicious dragon and the heros that attempt to save the town from it's plight. The hero who actually fells the dragon finds later there is something of beauty in everything, no matter whether we understand it or not. I would really REALLY like comments on this as I am considering compiling it with some other poems I have written and producing a kind of anthology and self publishing it for sale. Please be specific in your constructive critcisim but be prolific as well. I want to know what everyone thinks about it but am getting absolutely no response to this point! I recieved a comment on my email about my poem today, and they person was kind enough to point out a few issues and make some statements that made me think about my work. Thank you! But since he did not put his very insightful comment on the comments area, I am unable to make explinations here. Therefore I am loading this information into my description about my work, since so much of it is explaining why I did or did not do things a certain way. I don't have the liberty to put the contact information up here (that may be why it was not put into my comments) but I would really like to shed some light and explain where I am heading on my next update to this piece. Hey, ^__^ Yea, I know how it is when you write a poem or story, yet noone comes forward to critique it. But, I have only done minor work in poetry, and that is only random; I dont know the proper ways and stuff like that. As a general rule, I only like those that rhyme and flow smoothly and make some sort of sense. Happily, yours fits all three ^^ Just a few small things I can point out: -The line 'They gathered courage said the bard’s song.' doesn't sound right to me, it doesn't seem to fit with the above lines.. That line is a reflection that this is a story being told, not a live action by action telling. Since oral traditions were the way information was conveyed I set this in a lyrical setting to keep with that idea. The line can be edited, and I will look at it for possibilities, but the bard is still going to tell the story. -'Still not strong enough was their armor' has the same effect.. the above lines are strong, but the last one kinda lacks the same power.. oO; does any of this make sense? I believe I understand your point, however that was the smoothest way I could point it out. They were all killed, no matter how inflated or fancy they were armoured they were felled by the beast. I will keep working to find a new solution here, but I must say, it is the best I have been able to find yet. - What does 'And silently he coughed' mean? x.x When he is going into battle, he prays, screams, does all this, and I imagine him having alot of pent up nervous energy before tackling such a formidable foe. I know when I face something that makes me nervous I have a few ticks I instinctively do, and I think men have been doing that 'frog in the throat' half hearted little cough for centuries, eons, and forever. Sorry, this one is staying. - Why was the dragon asleep, when there were knights trying to slay it? If you notice the very first lines this took 7 days. Each knight on a seperate day. Therefore, I don't care how stalwart you are, you are going to have to sleep sometime, and that includes dragons. And besides, it was the only way my Scottish knight could sneak up on him without having a horse ;) And.. who is the dragon? ^^ sorry, lol. the first thing i thought, when i read this was, 'What about the dragon? What does it look like? why is it attacking?' blah blah blah.. general dragon fan stuff o.o Maybe it would be nice to add a part about the dragon, or maybe it suits the meaning of the poem that we know very little about the beast, and yet want it dead.. eh.. yeah. Well your last part of this comment hit it on the head. My point of this was they are wanting to kill something they don't fully understand. That is why the Scottish knight learns at the end of the poem everything is beautiful if we only take the time to learn, know, and understand it's motivations, and life. The rose symbolizes that beauty that still exists, even though the personage (or dragonage in this case) has long been dead. Basically, could it have been a protector, or did it have to be a terrifying item. We don't know cause they didn't take the time to know. I also avoided even minor decriptions because I feel everyone has thier own dragons, what they look like, how they feel about them, and everyone has thier own beasts. For me to make definate assumptions would have not only stifled some people's creativity but would have put too much knowledge about the fear into the story. 'The rain got heavier and the beast finally collapsed' --> from that line on, i think it improved a great deal. The scene of the knight and his lady together is very good, and strengthened in contrast to the typical shallowness of humans, how the villagers owe him their lives, yet really only celebrate their own safety, and leave soon after. (thats how it seems to me, anyway.) I would hope that is how it seemed to everyone. This is exactly what I tried to portray, and I thank you for the time to commenting. I would like to let you know, your comments are going to make this stronger, and I will be making a full edit soon. Anyhow, thats my ramblings. If they prove helpful, so be it, but it will probably only confuddle you.. x.X lol, yesh.. cya, -Raige (Kerry) THank you again! I hope this shows everyone I am very interested in your comments. Please leave me your impressions on this, my other stories, AND my artowork. Thank you.
An old poem I once wrote, inspired by the Irish myth of the hero Cuchulain from Ulster, who fought Queen Medb of Connacht in the service of king Conchobar mac Nessa. It's not much, but you got to remember that it's still two yearsold or so...It was written btw as lyrics to that tune by the same name -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDyMFP6yzfk
OK it has no formal title so I just described it... Its from a world I've created. More will be explained in the next chapter which takes place in teh Silent threshold. *have to write that first*
This is just a brief extract from a piece I'm working on. Backround wise, the narrator has met and lost a girl, and finds a clue to look for her.
I tried a different form of narration here, I don't think I did it very good. It sort of makes the story confusing to read. I write this story wondering: what would happen if a vampire turned a human for absolutely no apparent reason? The title has something to do with the woman's dress, I think
This is actually my final paper for last year's Celtic Literature class. It's my attempt at adding to the Ulster Cycle for those of you who really know your ancient Irish literature. :) None of the characters are original although I modified most of them at least a little, but the story is all mine if you ignore the fact that it's a very traditional myth pattern a la Circe. The style is EXTREMELY traditional, so don't berate me on that. It's supposed to be that way. :)
My friend and once-publisher (I did book cover art for her) Clara Gerl had an e-zine called Faerytales. Faerytales was short a story. Celtic lore chick to the rescue! I wrote this as a chapter of a story just for Faerytales, and haven't looked at it since...no one's asked me to continue it and I haven't felt like it, so...:::shrugs:::
Uh... very strange I think. Yes, that's *real* Irish and the person is slightly... disturbed.