**RFF #7 - Scarlett de Balboa - Pirate Wench Extrordinaire

Sci fi/Fantasy image by

Leigh Berggren

Francisco Pizarro's second seige upon the Incan Empire was great victory! The demon warriors were defeated, and the heathen king Atahualpa was at his mercy! Said Pizarro to the heathen king, 'You line your temples with precious gold and gems, and fool that you are do not even know its worth! Fill this room to the ceiling with gold and then the same room fill two times with silver. Do this, and I will let you live.' Atahualpa agreed, and ordered treasure be fetched to fill the room with gold, then twice again with silver. But Atahualpa had been fooled. As the last silver bowl was brought, Pizarro drew his knife against the king's throat, preparing to slit it through. As the king writhed in the Spaniard's grasp, he lifted his head and cried, 'O gods I serve, let my death be a curse upon these tributes which are rightfully yours, so that no man may touch them and live!' No sooner had Atahualpa's blood touched the floor did an eery glow fill the room. Great bolts of lightening flashed and objects threw themselves of their own volition, terrifying the Spaniards to run from this unholy display in danger of their lives.But Pizzaro would not be dissuaded by heathen magic. He ordered the treasure fetched by slaves, and hurridly made his way to Cuzco and Lima. Yet on the journey, misfortune occured. Slaves and soldiers bearing treasure tumbled into the marshes and were lost. More men came down with malaria and other tropical diseases. Still more went mad from visions of Incan innocents they had murdered. And at last, in Lima, Pizzarro himself died, murdered by the son of a man who wanted revenge. As he died, it's rumored that a single gold plate bearing Atahualpa's image turned to the Spaniard soldier that was carrying it, and laughed.Some of the treasure made its way out of the jungle, but Atahualpa's curse held, that no man could touch the treasure and live. And indeed, no man has. Cliches razzed:The entire 'pirate' costume is more suitable for a brothel girl than a real pirate. Real lady pirates existed, but they sure didn't look like this!Weightless sword. Ever notice that when you've got a chick with a weapon, she holds it like it weighs nothing? In real life, that cutlass would be WAY too heavy to just dangle with your fingers.Obligatory panty shot, not to mention complete historical innacuracy regarding ladies' underwear. But without it, we couldn't call her a true Fantasy Femme!Cursed treasure, because what good pirate story DOESN'T involved something that's cursed? One of these days, I think I'll write a story about haunted breast implants.Pencil.

Published More than a year ago

Category Fantasy

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