Welcome to the twisted, ugly world of Kedemar. This is the latest thing my muse threw at me and demanded me to write. If this continues, I plan to tackle all the things that really leave me floundering - first person perspective, some stirring dialogue, dynamic characters, increased vocabulary, some big plot twists / revelations, and as always, leaving things hidden for the reader to discover. I'm also going to broach ever so slightly into sci-fi, however it is still grounded firmly in the world of fantasy. A word of warning. This is not a pretty story. It is vastly different from the rest of my pieces. There will be blood, death, politics and religion - though not all in this one chapter. If you don't mind that, then please keep reading. Depending on the reaction, I might or might not keep posting chapters up.
This is my contribution to Wyvern's Project 3, as you probably guessed from the title, with the premise of writing from the enemy’s perspective.. Since it's rare for someone to believe themselves an enemy, my main character is supposed to come across as loving as possible for a leader. But, as a work in nuances and characterisation, with the intent of making the reader think, my protagonist is most definitely 'bad'. As for the competition: this’ll either work well or backfire. The prize is a detailed critique on a story of your choice. To win, you'll need to provide substantial evidence as to why she’s evil. I’ll leave ‘substantial evidence’ up to my own discretion, but anything with two big pieces of evidence or more smaller bits will probably get it. Obviously, if someone’s already pointed out something, you can’t use it to win ;) Have fun. Many thanks goes to the wonderful Jamie and her editing skills for helping me with this. Unfortunately, since I told you the evidence, you can’t win the prize... ;)
Niell finds himself completely alone, even amongst the other slaves as his dreams become steadily worse. It introduces a bit more of the White Hands, their beliefs, goals, etc. as well as a little more of Niell’s character as he is effectively tortured. Updated: December 19. I recently went over most of what I’d written and this is what resulted.
These events occur some forty years prior to the rest of the story and deal with the unfortunate instance of a young man being born with too many gifts and unable to hide it forever from prying and dangerous eyes. This came from the inspiration of a map a drew some years ago as well as some of my earlier story attempts.
Well, after a long hiatus, I managed to finish the next chapter of OHAE. My newest character is based off an 18th century character of London: Thomas Wild. He's a remarkably interesting man who ran the largest criminal gang in England. He garnered favour with the lower class by providing a safe refuge for them to live and work, and with the upper class by turning in those crooks who double-crossed him and returning stolen goods (for a fee) that he'd 'found'. Needless to say, he became extraordinarily rich.
Yet another section. Niell is personally introduced to the White Hands and some of the courts' religious / political motives are revealed. Updated: 13/3/04
This is a final part to the stand-alone story of the Promised, set within the world of Of Humans and Elves. Thanks goes to Damien for this. It was his request for what I believe was my 200th comment: to show more of the Promised's culture, lifestyle and beliefs. So sorry Damien for taking this long with it - but at least I got it done!
Niell, Inari and Terraic leave the city. The fast way. I've tried to incorporate a little more description here, whilst keeping up with the dialogue. Any comments on that would be muchly appreciated. Also, Part 7 portrayed the 'enemy' as evil, but here I tried to give them at least sympathy, if not understanding so I'd love to know if I swayed your opinion of them with the beginning of this chapter. Note: 'Soleil' is the surname of the royal family.
A man begins to unravel his 'imposed sanity' and finds the world isn't quite as it seems. This is my latest short story, written a month or two ago actually, but only just persuaded to submit it by Damien - so many thanks for that.
Niell begins his search to find answers. Terraic's character is also revealed a little more, though he doesn't play a very important part in this section. I fear that this does not answer as many questions as most would like. Unfortunately, they just couldn’t come out now without spoiling later bits. Also, Niell hasn't worked it out yet for himself yet so the answers aren't directly stated and, in fact, are really only hinted at. Having said that, there should be enough information within in this and the previous chapters to work out who Niell is, approximately why he started out in the way he did in Part 1 and maybe even a little about Terraic. A word of warning, a fair bit deduction would have to be used to work those last two out (especially anything about Niell).
The Black Plague has overrun the lands to the east, crippling empires as it spreads. With the abundance of naval trade, it is only a matter of time before it begins to cross oceans rather than mere land boundaries. Closer to home, the royal city of Forsayth is struggling with internal political instability. The monarchy is desperately holding on as riots and demonstrations increase. None of which is helped by the continuously rising immigrant numbers. Against this backdrop, the stories of three figures begin. The Politician: looking to advance his career; the Doctor: bound to royalty; and the Immigrant: escaping a horror chasing his heels. All three have vastly disparate paths, that would never cross were it not for a single common denominator: a young girl. Thrown together against their will, they will influence the future of Forsayth. ~ *** ~ Although I 'borrowed' the Bubonic Plague from our history, it is slightly different in this story, notably in the time taken for infection and death - it's much more drawn out here. ~ *** ~ Five pages - 2,529 words
The trio are just about to leave the royal city. Once again, there is a fair bit of symbolism in here, and some things not totally explained. Two things of note. Please mention if you didn't understand what happened with Thaedon on the balcony. Also, point out any bits that are... less than interesting. Updated 12/3/04: a multitude of correctional changes made, thanks to the wonderful help of Joelle.
This turned out quite different from how I intended it, but I don't mind how it turned out. I guess it could be described as an explanation for what happened to all those creatures from mythology. Some of the rhymes are a bit forced... any suggestions would be appreciated. Updated: 7/01/04
This is my contribution to The Project #6. A fair bit of research went into this, and although a lot of the story has been made up, most details are correct. This centres around the creation of the first pyramid (a.k.a mastaba) by Imhotep for King Djoser (by the way, anyone know when the Pharoahs started ruling Egypt instead of Kings?).
This is a very short story, inspired by the flash fairy tales of the woodworks magazine but now it's written and as I had so much fun writing it, I wanted to post it immediately.
Yet another poem, though this is by far my longest. In another first, I stuck (or at least, think I stuck) to a strict iambic and rhyming pattern, that should complement the setting. Which brings me to what it's about: a young page runs off from his coastal home and town, Melchior (pronounced mell.kee.or) with the frightful news of the all-too-familiar crimson sails of their enemy.
This is actually supposed to go at the beginning of Part 6, but that would simply make it too long. Instead, just to lessen the difficulties in reading, this is now a very short Part 7. For those who don't remember, the creatures appearing in this story were first introduced in Part 4 as the 'dust-creatures' attacking the outskirts of the Angola Plains.
This is a stand-alone story of the Promised, set within the world of Of Humans and Elves. Thanks goes to Damien for this. It was his request for what I believe was my 200th comment: to show more of the Promised's culture, lifestyle and beliefs. So sorry Damien for taking so long with this - but at least I got it done!
This is the first story I've written after my rather lengthy absence from Elfwood and is dedicated to Brandi. If you haven't yet, go check out her shelf. - you won't regret it. Her request was for a story about an elf / immortal (with a focus on the immortal part, rather than the elf bit), alone in the modern world. I had to show him as well adjusted to his lifestyle, yet still have his longevity eat at him. I think I achieved it... hope so anyway. Without her request I have no idea how much longer it would have taken me to get anything written, so I hope this begins to repay her =) ~~~ Five pages - 2,348 words
This was written in the midst of a writer's block, so don't expect wonders from it. Also, please ignore any typos in here - if you really wish, I'd love you to death if you pointed them out, but I'd prefer comments on content / overall feeling of this chapter. To keep in line with the rules on translation, the word 'Aspah' is a curse of indiscriminate meaning invented purely for this story.
Niell is brought to the royal city of Kailas and tempers are heated up. A little bit more has been revealed about Niell and two more important characters are introduced. I've been trying to work on character dialogue and personalities so any comments / criticisisms / help on that would be most welcome. Thanks to D Joelle Duran for giving me the inspiration to get this far in this series. 25/2/04 Update: Following some rather forceful suggestions from Alice 'Muffin Girl', the ending has been changed slightly to be slightly less corny.
The first chapter to my series. This occurs around forty years after the prologue, but the two are very much interlinked, though it will take a while before it becomes clear.
Welcome to Sanctum. This is slightly shorter than my other chapters and full of description. I really hope it doesn't get too boring... Expect to be here for the next couple of chapters.
This is the poetic version, as told by a bard, of the Border Feuds which accounts for the rivalry between humans and elves through Ishtar. This version is only sung in the more liberal areas of Ishtar or outside in other countries for any mention that the elves could have a point could well be the last song the bard would sing.
A continuation in the theme of 'Guardian', this poem relates the abbreviated story of what happened to the elves. Updated: 1/1/2004
Written whilst listening to Limp Bizkit's 'Behind Blue Eyes' on repeat. If you have it, I suggest listening to it whilst reading it, just to be in the mood of this piece. I'd be interested to know if you guessed the ending before you read it to see if I left enough clues around. For those who care about such things, this is merely the inspiration I had when I listened to the opening verse, not what I believe Limp Bizkit, nor The Who meant by the song. Lyrics copyright The Who. Update: I just listened to The Who’s version of Behind Blue Eyes. I’m not sure which one I prefer, but this story is most definitely inspired by Limp Bizkit’s version since I was trying to convey the poignancy of their version, which isn’t conveyed as strongly in The Who’s – though there’s some nice additional lyrics in theirs.