Doomed to Proselytize

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Heidi Malsberger

'Edward was in trouble because he had doubted the existence of the gods. 'Doubted' was not the best word, it was more like 'downright insistance that gods did not exist and mocked anyone who did believe in them.' When Edward had died in a car accident, imagine how surprised he was when he discovered that he had not ceased to exist. He wasn't going to rot in the ground. He thought to himself, 'Well, this is a relief. There's nothing to that dying bit.' And then he was brought before the gods. Bob, the most powerful god, told Edward that he had lived a good life and while he not done anything particularly bad during it, it really cheesed the gods when someone did not believe in them. Bob asked Edward how he would feel if people did not believe that he existed. Edward agreed that it would not be pleasant, but said that it was not a very good comparison, since he could not sentence such people to eternal damnation like Bob could. And then Edward was given his punishment. He thought it sounded pretty good at first. Anything sounded better than being worm bait. Bob told him that he had to live among mortals again. He would not need to sleep or eat, but he could not be seen by most mortals, except ones who needed to be saved before their deaths to avoid a similar fate as Edward had. He had to proselytize...convincingly.'

Published More than a year ago

Category Mythology

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