Jessica Warner

I know...   I know my birth certificate says "Jessica Warner", and I know most people call me Jess, because nicknames don't seem to stick around very long. I know twenty-four years sounds older than I feel, and yet that's how long I've been alive. I know that teaching five year olds sounded like a good idea at the time. I know that in reality it doesn't rain all the time in England, and that I like it here really, but I know complaining about the weather is pretty much part of our cultural identity. I think... I think food is the most amazing invention ever. I think that when I grow up, I still want to be Shakespeare - however I think that teaching is probably a more sensible career. I think all plans should be flexible though, because lets face it, in ten years time I might be dead, which would call for a fairly radical reconstruction of my plans. I think sleep is not overrated. I think too much. I believe... I believe we were all right the first time, and we shouldn't abandon a dream on the basis of impossibility. I believe we will never know even a percent of everything, so we should routinely question what we believe - and even some things we know. I believe in death, but I believe in heaven. And I don't believe that heaven's about who's good enough to get in and who isn't, because none of us will ever be perfect. I believe heaven is about trying, starting over, and turning away from what you know is wrong, and about having somebody who's willing to pay for that wrong you've already done. I believe Jesus is that person, and is willing to help anyone who will work with him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  This is probably the best short story I've ever read - AND IT'S ON ELFWOOD FOLKS! If you read nothing else, go read this by Jess Hyslop: Sol ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Samuel V.R. Joseph has a sci-fi story (completed), a fantasy story (completed) and two poems, and they're all excellent, so quite frankly there's no excuse NOT to go and visit him. Especially The Last Trumpet, which had me enthralled from chapter one. He is also possibly the most helpful person in all of Elfwood. "God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him may not be lost, but have eternal life." John 3:16    

Foreign Gods seems to be standard, in fantasy, to have a pantheon of gods (or a trio of goddesses), to add a bit of colour. Everyone believes in them, because you'll probably find one of them wandering around in chapter ten so there's no point doubting them, but it doesn't have much effect on the characters. Except priests, who get nifty spells. Which mages can do just as well. Whereas in sci-fi, it's always one god, and it's always 'god dammit!'. And that's about it. (This is standard, there are exceptions of course). Why is this? Why should this be the case? And what would a fantasy lass think of the sci-fi approach to religion? This is my entry for the Bifrost 'Science Fiction' project. This won 'Best Sci-Fi Short Story' in the (unofficial) Elfwood Awards 2005! If you voted for me, I love you!!

A Simple Guide To Saving The Day

WARNING: EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF RANDOM TO FOLLOW! They keep making all the same mistakes in generic fantasy. I'm sure if you or I got sucked into a fantasy story it would all be over much quicker without half so much fuss. So I propose that we post this list into some fantasy story that needs it, for the heroes perusal. EDIT: This is the commenter's favourite by far, going on numbers! In light of this I'm working on a volume II - all suggestions welcome, I'll even credit you if I'm feeling nice.

The Beast of Ashmore Lake

I got the inspiration for this about fifteen minutes before my final Psychology exam. Which proves that inspiration has no concept of timing whatsoever.This is a villanelle, like the famous poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, By Dylan Thomas (which, if you haven't read, you really really should). As for mine, I think it can be improved upon. Any suggestions welcome, even really random ones. Oh and one more interesting thing I noticed, while seeking help from an online rhyming dictionary, this might not rhyme so well if you don't have an English accent...eheh...let me know, I'm interested!


After reading the original Grimms fairy tales not long ago, I was inspired to re-write one. Several, actually, Cinderella and Rapunzel crashed and burned. But here is the first half of Snow White, retold in old Africa. I love fairy tales, don't get me wrong. I really like the original Snow White. But some things about them get to me. Why do good and beautiful always go together? Why is it that a woman can only live happily ever after if she marries a handsome man? And often: How does that equate with reality in any way??? Anyhoo, this is an experiment. Hope it entertains!