'Now There's a Wanna-Be, if I Ever Saw One!' inked

Sci fi/Fantasy image by

Paul Doyle

This picture was started and abandoned in 2006 after I became demoralized by certain glaring errors, but I motivated myself to finish the thing, in early 2007. This was originally for a "Design the Elftown Guard Uniform" type of contest on Elftown, but I ran out of time. That contest was won by someone who turned out to be a cheater who was subsequently disqualified. I had a brief notion of getting this thing in a year after the fact, hoping they'd allow more entries because of the cheater, but this didn't happen---so here it is, yet another piece of art meant for an Elftown contest, that never got entered for one reason or another. Oh well. The smart-ass dwarf is pointing at Pauly the Anthro-Dragon and saying, "Now there's a wanna-be if I ever saw one!" Poor Pauly can't get his pants up (there's that tail to contend with . . . ) and I'm not sure he's completely aware he's mooning the crowd. Kathy the Anthro-Dragoness, naturally, is hunkering in for a closer look at her hubby's hidden treats . . . Of all these characters on the stage, only one---the hostess tiger-lady with the Tina Turner 'do----is the character of an actual "Town Guard" or moderator, on Elftown. That would be Annelise Stehwien AKA "Calico Tiger". You may or may not recall three earlier pictures from 2004 I created which had Pauly the Anthro-Dragon and Calico Tiger in them. (These were the first times I used pen and Prismacolors, to OK yet crude effect.) The nude tiger-lady who looked slightly tranny in the first pic, had a very nice butt in the second picture, and was sort of elongated and distorted in the third picture. So . . . in an effort to glam her up a bit, to give her some stage appeal, I made her WAY too big . . . oops! One of these days I will get the Calico Tiger character portrayed correctly within the limits of my personal style. Keeping the butt, of course . . . Annelise's gallery is here: (Renderosity---I think she updates this one the most) http://excalibur.renderosity.com/mod/gallery/browse.php?username=Calico_Tiger (Elfwood)  http://www.elfwood.com/art/a/n/anneliese1/anneliese1.html  

Published More than a year ago

Category Fantasy

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More by Paul Doyle

'Classical Dragon's Lament'

This is a poem about a typical, damsel-eating 'classic' dragon who finds himself besmitten with his virgin sacrifice, and therefore in a big dilemma.


I decided to break out of a rut, and try something completely different. So I got into a little challenge with Elfwood writer Leigh Erickson: If she could write about something OTHER than death, I would write a death poem! So here it is, about a fictitious Egyptian pharaoh named Chepankhtep (yes; I chickened out trying to come up with rhymes, so I left his name out of the poem! I hope it's exciting and fun . . . and has a twist. The Mexican mummies mentioned are no longer literally hanging around; they are in museums now. If you've ever seen the original 'Faces of Death', you've seen some of the Mexican mummies mentioned here. This is the very first attempt I've made at something this dark.

Santa Claus: Medieval Secret Undercover Agent---Episode Four, Slimetrail Skulks SantaVille

---This story is for Elfwood writer Che Franz Joseph Monro, who has been an excellent reader/critic, and is a fantastic writer in his own right--- I admit, I like Episode Three even though it's strange and not for the easily offended. However, there seems to be a lot in it saying 'this story sequence is doomed to imminent lameness after this installment.' It took me a long time to get back to this story, because a great number of things happening in my real life, like moving, getting eye muscle surgery for my son, getting into a couple minor auto accidents, and the holidays---and, of course, getting my Elfwood art gallery up. I'm glad I took a while coming back to this story, because this turned out way better (and way longer) than originally planned.Quick recap: Part One introduces the insanity and wins Mod's Choice despite a flawed story. Part Two focuses on adventure and some cheesy music. Part Three points out the strangeness of a certain religion, and winds up being bizarre (and gets the fewest 'hits') because I was willing to take risks. Part Four also takes risks. It doesn't take place on the border of Orcaporka on the planet Terradum, but at Santa's Village at the North Pole of our very own Earth. If you ever wondered what labor relations were like at the North Pole, here ya go. I believe this is the best one yet. I have scaled back the insane wackiness and taken a more mild, relaxed approach. Slimetrail the Imp has his moment of glory in this story. Brian Claus (the real brains behind Santa's Village) is unveiled in all his zitty, nerdy yet strangely cool glory. When you're done reading, please let me know if I should continue this story or not. I'd sooner discontinue it, rather than let it get staler and triter than your average made-for-TV 'Heartwarming Emotional Family Christmas Reunion Mushiness.' Or, as Neil Young sang so many years ago, 'It's better to burn out than it is to rust.'

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