Craziness at Elftown wiki-page 'starbucks'

Sci fi/Fantasy image by

Paul Doyle

It is the text adventures, or 'wiki-pages' that REALLY keep things going on Elftown. This is a picture from a scene from 'Starbucks' that I wrote, involving an anthropomorphic dracosona of myself (not Jak'edrac sel'Gury), a dwarf guy who calls himself 'Boogie', and the fluffy dragon character of Elfwood Artist Rebecca Huska, used with her permission. My Dr. Seuss-y version of her wingless 'Chokolat Dragon' doesn't do her original version justice. By the way, they are NOT getting high on recreational drugs. There's just a 'special something' added to the 'Loco Draco' coffee that makes dragons act like Hare Krishnas doing the St. Vitus Dance. Scary? But it's harmless in the end, rather like that scene in that 'Willy Wonka' movie where the Oompa-Loompas row so quickly down the tunnel everybody joins in a communal psychedelic freak-out. There's about a DOZEN scenes that are more disturbing/damaging in that movie, like the four old people sleeping in the same bed together, or that 'Candyman' song . . . yecccch! But I digress. A bit rushed at the end; I may yet clean the drawing up a bit.

Published More than a year ago

Category Fantasy

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More by Paul Doyle

'Classical Dragon's Lament'

This is a poem about a typical, damsel-eating 'classic' dragon who finds himself besmitten with his virgin sacrifice, and therefore in a big dilemma.


I decided to break out of a rut, and try something completely different. So I got into a little challenge with Elfwood writer Leigh Erickson: If she could write about something OTHER than death, I would write a death poem! So here it is, about a fictitious Egyptian pharaoh named Chepankhtep (yes; I chickened out trying to come up with rhymes, so I left his name out of the poem! I hope it's exciting and fun . . . and has a twist. The Mexican mummies mentioned are no longer literally hanging around; they are in museums now. If you've ever seen the original 'Faces of Death', you've seen some of the Mexican mummies mentioned here. This is the very first attempt I've made at something this dark.

Santa Claus: Medieval Secret Undercover Agent---Episode Four, Slimetrail Skulks SantaVille

---This story is for Elfwood writer Che Franz Joseph Monro, who has been an excellent reader/critic, and is a fantastic writer in his own right--- I admit, I like Episode Three even though it's strange and not for the easily offended. However, there seems to be a lot in it saying 'this story sequence is doomed to imminent lameness after this installment.' It took me a long time to get back to this story, because a great number of things happening in my real life, like moving, getting eye muscle surgery for my son, getting into a couple minor auto accidents, and the holidays---and, of course, getting my Elfwood art gallery up. I'm glad I took a while coming back to this story, because this turned out way better (and way longer) than originally planned.Quick recap: Part One introduces the insanity and wins Mod's Choice despite a flawed story. Part Two focuses on adventure and some cheesy music. Part Three points out the strangeness of a certain religion, and winds up being bizarre (and gets the fewest 'hits') because I was willing to take risks. Part Four also takes risks. It doesn't take place on the border of Orcaporka on the planet Terradum, but at Santa's Village at the North Pole of our very own Earth. If you ever wondered what labor relations were like at the North Pole, here ya go. I believe this is the best one yet. I have scaled back the insane wackiness and taken a more mild, relaxed approach. Slimetrail the Imp has his moment of glory in this story. Brian Claus (the real brains behind Santa's Village) is unveiled in all his zitty, nerdy yet strangely cool glory. When you're done reading, please let me know if I should continue this story or not. I'd sooner discontinue it, rather than let it get staler and triter than your average made-for-TV 'Heartwarming Emotional Family Christmas Reunion Mushiness.' Or, as Neil Young sang so many years ago, 'It's better to burn out than it is to rust.'

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