I was a lonely child. I can remember having friends, but never many. I was not the popular or pretty girl. I was the shy and introverted child -- the loner who found more solace in magick of nature that surrounded me and embraced me, but I knew even then as a child that I wanted to be an artist. It was my destiny and I vowed that it would be a destiny I would fulfill. I've always known who I am from the earliest of ages, but I lost that knowledge for a ways when 'society' began to dictate who I should be. I should not be an artist. I should not be a pagan. I should not be independant and strong-willed. I should not be a creature of emotions, empathy, and instinct. I should not believe in fairies and dragons and magick. I should not listen to my dreams. The 'should nots' held me a prisoner to doubt and depression for over 18 years. I existed in a world were magick was forgotten, and dreams of destiny and a childhood vow were but a distant memory. Instead, I became a mother and wife -- loved and cherished, but empty of all passion and hope. I had no goals and no dreams. My sleep was that of endless dark with no interruptions, no mystery, no questions. Until the memory of a childhood vow resurfaced ... ... and I rebelled.
crystals, art, writing, music, tarot
epica, therion, after forever, within temptation, kamelot, nightwish, evannessence, elis, leave's eyes, lacuna coil, loreena mckennitt, blackmore's nights, mediaeval babes