For my creative writing class, I extended my poem into an actually story. I'm quite pleased with the result. For the poem: Merciless
One of my favourites; If there's anything I've ever written that I truly feel the need to revise until it's bleeding, so I can send it in to a literary magazine, this is it. A simple modern fantasy/magical realism of young girl who may or may not be delusional. I'd really like feedback here on a few certain aspects: Does the story present itself well enough? Is the ending confusing? How might I be able to give more of the other characters, particularly Alice's siblings, in a sutble way that won't take you away from the story to describe them? Things like that. I really would like to get this story to be the best it can, but I need your help. Update: August 25, 2004: Fixed the small errors comments, they have been so valuable!), as well, a touched up the ending a bit more, hoping to add some clarity, as well as mentioning a few minor, subtle details at the age of the characters.
This poem is ancient, but people seem to really enjoy it, and so it remains.
A brief look into a mission Tobias had before the events of The Unknown Scourge that actually reveals more about his past that the book. It's an interesting little story I whipped together for class, not exceptionally good, but I like the technique I used. There's more to the title than just the relation to the swing in the story; wonder if anyone would notice it...(or if anyone who does notice it would have if I didn't say anything).
One of my biggest faults is that I'm easily dejected. About two years ago (perhaps even more), I had an entirely different prologue for the first book in my big fantasy epic, Serpent in a Cage. I showed it to a friend of mine who's opinion, at the time, meant quite a lot. He didn't like it, and ever since then, I haven't been able to touch the thing. Until now. His biggest complaint was that there wasn't enough action in it, so I tried to approach the story with a more active beginning, although such things have always been hard for me. It was quite a challenge, a long time running, but I've finally completely something I'm satisfied with. Naturally, though, my satisfaction means little, as I'm sometimes too hard on myself, others not hard enough. This is where you come in. I'm desperate for guidance and construction critism on this one. Is it a good prologue? Does it capture your attention, do you find it interesting? Does it spark questions and make you want to read more? Or should I take this back to the figurative drawing board once more? Please. I desperately implore your imput.
This poem was a real stretch, a challenge to write. Psuedo song lyrics on what it's like to become a vampire.
Quite possibly the shortest 'story' I, being exceptionally long winded, will ever write . The lovely picture is done by my friend and partner in crime, James Lara
Just like the previous Hederrik story, but edited! Now the spelling mistakes and typos aren't so glaringly obvious and wince-worthy. When Locke, that renegade prince, meets Hederrik and the Asyentai oy Avydi'iar kicks his butt.
Unrevised/Unedited. Currently in the process of removing those UNs. Get your suggestions in now, so I can impliment them in the copy i'm currently working on. (Unrevised/unedited) The Unknown Scourge: Chapter One
Version No. 02 Extra special thanks go to Shanra for her insistance on me being the best writer I can be and to Kash for helping me see the err of my ways. This second version has been given a major facelift, hopefully eradicating all those mutilated sentences, typos, and HTML errors. Maybe now everyone can start focusing on the story itself. I'd really like to know if the ending is at all confusing, or if the point gets across just fine.