Madame Million's Horoscopes
By Madame Million
|Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Practice positive reinforcement and be generous with those compliments this month. A good word in the right place will be exactly what someone needs to hear, and there will be unexpected rewards from it. Fickle people will drive you nuts this month.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Back-stabbing will be the theme of this month, unfortunately. Some of it will be completely unintended and should not be taken at face value, and you may be suspected of some yourself, however innocent you may be. Consider wearing kevlar.
Aries (March 21 - April 20)
The weather will simply not cooperate with you this month. When you want sun, you will get rain, if you're looking for rain, you'll get snow or hail or droughts. Ironically, you will find a great deal of success trying to portray weather in art or writing; it will add exactly that touch you were looking for. You'll get a blister some time this month.
Taurus (April 21 - May 20)
You may want to invest a few dollars in one of those squeezy stress-balls. You'll need one this month, or you'll find yourself sorely tempted to break something you actually use, like a computer accessory. Rethink a decision to eat something that could cause discomfort.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Take extra steps to protect that sketchbook or notebook this month, or you will lose something that you've spent a lot of effort on. Remember to use waterproof ink! Don't abuse comfort foods this month. Watch what you may put in your back pocket and forget about; you may end up washing it or sitting on it and ruining something.
Cancer (June 21 - July 20)
A bright outlook will do you wonders this month, allowing you to accomplish great things and deal with irritating people. Don't allow yourself to sink into despair, though it will be occasionally tempting. Go ahead and order something that may seem frivolous; you'll use it more than you think you will, and you'll be pleased with your purchase.
Leo (July 21 - August 21)
Bugs! In your art or writing, in your computer, or in your kitchen, bugs will play a very important role this month. Clean out your pockets or purse this month, or you'll never find what you're actually looking for. The number seventeen will be auspicious.
Virgo (August 22 - September 22)
This would be a good month to buy someone (maybe even yourself!) flowers spontaneously. It will get you a lot of brownie points, and the reaction will help spark some creative energy. Watch out for cracks in the sidewalk, not for superstitious reasons, but because a really big one could land you on your backside unexpectedly if you're not paying attention.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
It is time to try, and really pursue, a new media. If you've stuck with poetry, expand into prose. If you've been strictly a writer, try using that pencil for sketching. If you've been solely an artist, try stretching your creativity into writing too, or move into 3-D or some other art that you've been hesitant to try. The first results may not be too encouraging, but stick with it and you'll realize that you've found a whole new world to explore. Gum will play an unpleasant role in your life this month.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 22)
Take a good hard look at your sitting position this month; is it healthy? Have you been wondering why your feet are always falling asleep? Practice good posture, and you'll find that you weren't even aware of some of the aches and pains that came with pursuing your creative arts. CDs will seem to skip an awful lot this month.
Sagittarius (November 23 - December 20)
Double-check your list every time you leave the house this month, or you'll find yourself forgetting things you really needed. Return those phone calls or emails that you've been putting off. They won't be quite as difficult as you feared, and the rewards will be great. The fuzzy pieces at the edges of spiral bound paper will show up in unusual places.
Capricorn (December 21 - January 19)
Your computer will need some maintenance this month. Clean out those files you don't use, backup those important documents, run the defragmenter, and make sure your virus files are up to date. You'll be very, very glad that you did, and you may even notice a pick-up in speed and performance. The time you took away from creative pursuits will come back two-fold. Resist the urge to swear too loudly or vividly.