This web page is part of a hosted copy of the WoodWorks eZine at Elfwood.  (#868)
The eZine is no longer updated, nor does it have it's own domain left... This also means that it's no use to contact the WoodWorks editors, etc, etc...

Header art by
Ellen Million

IRC Funnies
from #Wyverns_Library & #Lothlorien

From #Wyverns_library

Aello> dang it, DW, have you been -still- been online in the 9 hrs I was sleeping? ;)
Dark_Wolf> Yesss ma'am
* Aello punts DW offline
Dark_Wolf> Time passes , things crumble and rot before my very eyes as I lay awake @_@
Dark_Wolf> which is actually fascinating
Mij> Indeed.
Dark_Wolf> I mean.... stay awake for 3 days, and watch bread slowly ... develop fungi
Dark_Wolf> 'tis fascinating because you are there to see it happen you see time passing by as you stay awake yet the others sleep and these things happen when they don't look
Dark_Wolf> and now I shall shut up before I sound too much like a psycho with no life ;)
* Mij patpats DW
Aello> too late DW :)
Dark_Wolf> breeaaad! decaaaay! deaaaath! cheesies!

* Dark_Wolf skitters in and moos
BlackRoseImmortal> moo?
Dark_Wolf> moo
Dark_Wolf> canadian wolves moo.
* BlackRoseImmortal shrugs
BorisGreymenace> ha a cow in wolf's clothing
BorisGreymenace> oh wait, he's canadian, nm
DangerCat> They do...amazing...I thought they went baa or something like that
BorisGreymenace> no, those are english wolves
BorisGreymenace> well, british wolves
Raindance> canadian wolves also breed mutant mushrooms... >.>
BorisGreymenace> i thought they just got high on them
* KassFireborn has been paused by the mental image of a moo-ing wolf.
Raindance> well that too.... *cough*
Raindance> XD
* Jyno facepalms.
BorisGreymenace> "Canadian Druggy Wolves on 'Shrooms that Moo"
BlackRoseImmortal> oh wow
BorisGreymenace> i think its a catchy title
BlackRoseImmortal> sounds like an anti drug campain....that failed miserably

* GWFRC ponders passing out
Solenna> unconcious... in... #WL? is that safe?
* Raindance hides the tape and pink marker behind her back
Raindance> sure it's safe
GWFRC> ...
Raindance> ^_^
* Solenna cutes innocently

* MrCynical hates children
SisTabby> Children are much of what's wrong with the world today. I'm certain of it.
pseudomuffin> i think we should make the world safe for our children, but not our children's children because i don't think children should be having sex.
Moon_Fox> Should I take offense to that?
* Ciri giggles
SisTabby> Most stupid people are children in most ways that matter.
Moon_Fox> I need an age group for children
MrCynical> under12
Moon_Fox> okay
MrCynical> then they are teens
MrCynical> a nasty scourge, not as evil as children, just more belligerant and annoying
Solenna> I feel so loved

SisTabby> The older the age group, the less likely that you'll meet stupid idiots. Mostly because there has been more time for them to meet with unfortunate accidents.

*** awriter has joined #Wyverns_Library
* Lucas tackles Audrey. "Under a minute.. you are such my bitch." ;)
awriter> *thud*
Lucas> I should get you a pager, make this easier on both of us. :)
awriter> Pagers scare me.
awriter> you're just walking along, tralala, and then all of a sudden you have Jingle Bells going off in your pants
* Ciri cracks up
Lucas> I prefer vibration... then I can say "Excuse me, my pants are vibrating." and walk away without an explanation.

awriter> SWEET jumpin' jellybean. o_o
KassFireborn> Gette, where?
* awriter eyes the general direction of the basement, where a loud crash has reached her ears.
Khadgar> Bite my butt and call me Johnny!
awriter> No. :P

pseudomuffin> well i'll be.. there IS another #wl :)
Kyosuke> hello
pseudomuffin> hiyas :)
Khadgar> hi. We're real.
* pseudomuffin grins
KassFireborn> no we're not! you're hallucinating this.
pseudomuffin> oh great
KassFireborn> See, the fact that Ciri is wearing a frilly pink dress and a giant hat with fruit on it proves it.
Ciri> Pretty much.
pseudomuffin> i just wish i could hallucinate something *interesting* for a change
KassFireborn> and then there's the snails doing the conga line.
pseudomuffin> well, yeah. but that's normal.
* Ciri grabs Kyo, dances him around the room, dips him and kisses him, and then sits back on the couch.
* Julsey blinks
Julsey> Did Ciri just....nah..
* pseudomuffin blinks
KassFireborn> Never happened. Just a dream from some bad mushrooms.

MetalWyvern> my record is 45 wpm
MrCynical> i think i type at around 50 tpm
Moon_Fox> I dunno what mine is
* MetalWyvern still doesn't understand how his typing teacher determined that number
MetalWyvern> tpm?
Moon_Fox> 50 what per minute?
MrCynical> typos per minute...

MrCynical> WriterTreats? ad : Buy WriterTreats Today! They are much better than the competitors WritterTreets cause they are spelled right!

<Noceur> Soy milk is weird. The aftertaste is yummy, but I always go "OMG O_____O SYNTAX ERROR" each time I drink it. Then when the aftertaste washes over my tongue, I go like "purr".

pseudomuffin> speaking of meds. afk for sex.
pseudomuffin> for a SEC!
* pseudomuffin runs away
* Solenna laughs
Vampire> oh.. THOSE kinds of meds.
* Moon_Fox falls over laughing
Raindance> o.o
Solenna> that's great XD
KassFireborn> oh, the nurse in a skimpy uniform asking you if you've had your medication today kind of meds?
Moon_Fox> he didn't even have "a sex" it was just plain out "sex"
* pseudomuffin mumbles
Jyno> well done lad, well done

MrCynical> he also heard a bear got into this big bag of cocaine these smugglers dumped when they thought they would get caught
KassFireborn> Bears on coke: next Sally.
Ciri> o.O
Bastet> O.o
MrCynical> these poor creatures, addicted to the smack, maul people for their stash... they can't stop they claim
KassFireborn> But what is at the heart of the bear-crack addiction problem? Is it ursoid society? Parental neglect? Can we do anything to stop these tragic events?
Ciri> Honey was introduced into the bear population to create a lower class!

* KassFireborn whistles and pretends she's not hiding one by sitting on it.
Benigirl> no, i dont think thats it
* Hermes gives up looking for now and Balconizes?
Benigirl> lol kass
Hermes> Kass, I'm not gonna say anything about your ass being large enough to cover a room; rest assured. ;)
Benigirl> ROFL
Benigirl> *next week on woodworks: hidden rooms and the places Kasfire hides them*
Hermes> o.?
Hermes> there's more than one?
Benigirl> lol, don't know... Kass get up and let us look ;)
Benigirl> ROFL
KassFireborn> I'm wearing a wide skirt. I maintain that.

Tams> #WL: It's Innuendoriffic! Join us now!

*** Tarlia Quit (Quit: Connection reset by perv)

* KassFireborn sets sol, mtk, and kimmers on fire
* Solenna toasts marshmallows!
* Solenna burns!
* Raindance gets out the chocolate!
Solenna> ow.
* Raindance makes s'mores
Solenna> mtk... grab the graham crackers would ya?
Raindance> oh darn.. I knew I was missing something... oops
Raindance> XD
KassFireborn> I love the order. first you toasted marshmellows, *then* you noticed that you were burning.
* Raindance laughs
* Solenna laughs
KassFireborn> A fine example of #wl priorities. First food, then fun, and only later first-aid.

Solenna> ahhh.. au revoir then Luccy
*** Vampire has quit IRC (Quit: Cynner loves me... Cynner LOOOOOOOOOOOVES me.)
* KassFireborn puts away the holy water
Solenna> heehh
KassFireborn> if he thinks that's love he's got some wires crossed, iffen' you know what I mean.
* Solenna is gonna havta typo that as Lucy on day.
Solenna> well... "typo" that
KassFireborn> don't, sol... Lucy is just one step away from Lucy Fur, which is, basically, Lucifer, and the last thing we need is Lucas having an ego trip and thinking he's the devil incarnate. o.-
Raindance> o.o;
Solenna> ohhhhh yeah
Solenna> but wait! he's said that Satan aka Lucifer awaits the day Grizz arrives in hell in fear...
Solenna> does that mean Grizz could take Lucas?
Jyno> I think this can only be resolved with a hellacious bout of rock'em sock'em robots.
Taman> agreed
Solenna> hehehehe XD niiice
Moon_Fox> stupid head ont eh blue one is always broken, though..

* Bastet climbs into her basket, turns around once or twice, kneading the blanket, then flops down with a yawn. Mrew.
KassFireborn> awwwwwwwwww
* Grizz ROARS and flytackles the closest lamp
KassFireborn> O.O
KassFireborn> (bad reaction to cute?)

*** DangerCat has joined #Wyverns_Library
< BlackRoseImmortal > allo DC
< Raindance > hey DC
< KassFireborn > interesting nick...
< Julsey > Reminds me of Danger Mouse
< KassFireborn > kind of sounds like a '70s cartoon, doesn't it? Danger Cat! It'd probably have a kick-a themesong
< KassFireborn > Danger Cat, Danger Cat, make 'im mad and he'll kick your a-(don't say that!)
< Julsey > heh
< Moon_Fox > O.o
< BlackRoseImmortal > hehe
< KassFireborn > I'm an insta-jingle writer.
< Jyno > I wonder if Danger Cat's fall feet first, or if they're so suave that they don't even care.
< BlackRoseImmortal > heh
< KassFireborn > Danger Cat is appearently one of those strong but silent types
< Julsey > Maybe he can't type?
< Jyno > he must be really strong then
< KassFireborn > Maybe it's a she?
< Julsey > hmm..maybe
< Jyno > Danger Cat's probably off saving the world from crazy dogs and fiendishly evil brilliant mouse types.

* KassFireborn tugs on Vampire's sleeve. "tell us, chandaddy, tell us!"
< Vampire > I'm not the chandaddy. :P
< PseudoMuffin > well then...
< PseudoMuffin > who's our daddy?!
* KassFireborn tugs on Ciri's sleeve. "Who's our daddy?"
* absinthe blinks
< absinthe > There isn't one. This is a bastard channel.
* Solenna isn't surprised
* absinthe is shamed for creating the channel out of wedlock.
< absinthe > And now no one wants me... I mean, look at how many children I have!
< KassFireborn > Well, at least when the other chans say we're all bastards, we'll know they're being discriptive and not insulting.


Storyteller> Maximum filesize for ew is.... 500k right?
Tarlia> beats me
* Storyteller stops the maximum filesize before it beats Gette to a bloody pulp.
Tarlia> ack
* Tarlia hides under Rainy
* Raindance blinks
* Raindance slowly inches away from Gette
* Tarlia inches anxiously after Rainy
Raindance> "aww mom, can I keep it? it followed me home!" XD

SolCleaning> ahhh... Highway to Hell... good ole AC/DC
*** Hades Quit (Ping timeout)
*** Raindance is now known as Rain[afk]
Rain[afk]> o.o looks like Hades took a wrong turn on the Highway to hell...
SolCleaning> maybe Hell doesn't have an internet connection
Io> Sure it does
Io> AOHell
SolCleaning> oh right

* SisTabby runs in from playing a game, screams, "I am the monkey butt-whomp queen!" and runs back out.
<GlazedDonut> ....

<DeadFireborn> Don't drink and #wl.

From #Lothlorien

* ivyroses is burning underwear
<Rainliscious> o.o
* Rainliscious blinks
<Tabbyliscious> Fun.
<Valiscious> o.o
<Valiscious> 8-D~~~
<Tabbyliscious> I'm assuming nobody's wearing them at the time?
* Hermliscious doesn't comment.... lisciously
<ivyroses> the 3d kind sheesh *l*
<Rainliscious> oh XD
<Valiscious> ROFL, oh, a CD

<mastermike> ok, then take a chunk out of a cow and eat it
<drgnlvr> :P
* drgnlvr chews on mastermike
* mastermike mooos in agony
* drgnlvr falls over laughing
<drgnlvr> sorry...I wasn't expecting that

<Dark_Wolf> when i was a young pup, i used to ask my mom to stop whenever we saw a cow when we were driving by, so I could eat it.
<drgnlvr> nooooooo comment
<Raindance> . . .
<mastermike> mmmmmm, cow
<Raindance> this explains alot about you DW
<Dark_Wolf> o.o;
<drgnlvr> mean that, and the leopard print bra?
<Dark_Wolf> hey, I figured that my cat's favorite toy was a bra ;)
<Raindance> same as you DW?
* Raindance RUNS
<Dark_Wolf> yep, just like his daddy ;)

<drgnlvr> with your fingers?
<Ajax> YES!
<Ajax> That's it!
<Ajax> My digits are acting up again!
<drgnlvr> bad digits!
<Ajax> Don't go to extremities.
<drgnlvr> Gawd! I'm glad Val isn't here right now >.<
<drgnlvr> I can just see Valandar and Ajax getting into a battle of the puns
<drgnlvr> scary thought XD
<allcuishpa> it would be fowl.
<drgnlvr> oh, no
<artisan1998> I wouldn't want to see anyone suffer from a terrible punshot wound ;)

<Rainy> plug fest? where!?
* Dark_Wolf plugs his paw in a socket ! :D bzzzzzzt!
<drgnlvr> o.-
<drgnlvr> DW you're weird! XD
<Dark_Wolf> x.x
<Wren[tired]> o.O
<Leenae> o.ô

<jeweldrag> im gonna go try to eat roomie see you later:)
<ManhattanChase> see ya jewel
<jeweldrag> byeee:)
<drgnlvr> you're going to eat your roomie? o.o
<Fallen_Wyvern> *ZZZZZZZZ*
<jeweldrag> NO!

* drgnlvr sticks her tongue out at fallen :PPPPPPP
* Fallen_Wyvern pushes it back into drgn's mouth
<Neko> o.o
* Neko stops snerfling and purrrs
<drgnlvr> Fallen, when was the last time you washed your hands? >.<

* pseudomuffin wonks.
<pseudomuffin> wonk wonk wonk.
<Fallen_Wyvern> wonk... isnt that what the adults do in charley brown?
<Chasey> lol yes FW

* Dark_Wolf moos at rainy
*** Raindance ( Quit (Ping timeout)
<Dark_Wolf> eep o.o
* Dark_Wolf didn't do anything... *drops the body in the gutter*

<Lummy> Nah..that just popped into my head. Like everything else.
<Raindance> ah.. ok
<Lummy> "Go eat" Okay. "Go put on your shoes" Okay. "Go balance a cheesegrater on your head and try to feet string licorice to geese while practicing your morse code with tongue clicks" okay.
<Lummy> *sigh*
<Raindance> o.o
<Lummy> Rainypants..nobody likes me.
<Lummy> And everybody hates me.
* Raindance hugs Lummy
<Wirehead> Hmmmm..
* drgnlvr huggles lummy....she loves her
<Wirehead> Lummy, can you do all of this while shaking your hips suggestively?
* Lummy furrows brow at Wire

<Raindance> you can have a ratburger though :D
<ivyroses> thanks for the offer but I'll pass. I already wolfed down a turkey sam dagwood style
<Apollo> So, you find a turkey named sam and eat it dagwood style?! Poor thing!
<Raindance> I didn't know you were going to eat Mr. Turkey... he's our friend
* Apollo puts up a headstone. "Sam, beloved turkey, good friend, and one hell of a sandwich."
* ivyroses gets out her hunting knife & bow/arrows to hunt for more "friends"

<Raindance> what'd I do now? o.o;;
<Raindance> it's tuesday! I'm innocent!
<Sin> =)
<ivyroses> yeah something like that - not =) much more gutterminded
* ivyroses patpats rainy
* Raindance polishes her halo
<jokergirl> lol

*** drgnlvr was kicked by drgnlvr (me say baaaaaaad word! *Love y'all!*)

<Raindance> now where did Hermes get off to... *ponders*
<OtakuRaver> not where, rainy.. who
* Raindance pauses to think that over...
<Raindance> right
<OtakuRaver> XD

<Dark_Wolf> when I prance around naked in my appartment cleaning things with my magical pixie wand, I do not tell the channel either ;)
<Anty> ...
<Anty> XD
<Raindance> gah! my mind!
<Raindance> what have you done?!?!
* Raindance sobs
<Dark_Wolf> see what it does when we mention such things here? ;)
<Anty> Ok, I'm guilty! ;D
* Anty will keep his mouth shut and play NWN or something ^_^

*** Ajax ( has joined #lothlorien
*** Ajax ( has left #lothlorien
<SisTabby> PITCHFORK!!
* Raindance hands Tabby the pitchfork
* SisTabby does as the gods have commanded.
<SisTabby> Heh. Rainy's like my surgery nurse. ^^
* Raindance grins like the little maniac she is

* Hermes strokes his maggot, which he worships as a source of his power.
<Hermes> OMG!! No one read that!! That looked soooooooo bad!

* Raindance promptly dives into the nearest glass of icewater
* Hermes takes a sip of hi--OMG! Rainy! Get out of there!

<Scribble> Hermes can perv anything...
* DoxyMackerel blinks at Hermes, opts not to comment
<Hermes> I can
<Hermes> ...and I do
<Hermes> ...a lot.
<Hermes> you know... that all coulda fit on one line, couldn't it?
<Scribble> yes.. it could have...
* Hermes apologizes profusely

<Casey> Oh my.. isn't there a section in woodworks for funny comments?
<Hermes> of course not. ;þ
<Casey> thought there was. ah well
<Hermes> well, by all means, certainly don't go and look... ;)
<Casey> I -am- =-P
<MightyMidget1> XD

<Psudo> My roomate wants to know if Gadrielle is online.
<Psudo> (Because the channel is named Lothlorien...)
<Raindance> no.. but Galadriel might be
<Hermes> nope... Galadriel isn't on, either
* Hermes high-fivers Raindance
<Psudo> Sorry, I can't spell.
<Hermes> WHOO!
<Raindance> get off my brain wave, Hermes ;)
<Hermes> telekinese
<Raindance> that was actually kind of scary...
<Hermes> Rainy, no... you're on my lap, that gives me the right to surf your brain

[ Top ]

All articles and artwork are property of their respective owners.
No part of this publication may be reproduced without the author's consent.
Copyright © 2002 Woodworks eZine