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Trace Webster

 This web page is part of a hosted copy of the WoodWorks eZine at Elfwood.  (#769)
The eZine is no longer updated, nor does it have it's own domain left... This also means that it's no use to contact the WoodWorks editors, etc, etc...
 
IRC Funnies
from #Wyverns_Library & #Lothlorien

From #Wyverns_library

* Canthlian (~Canthlian@...) Quit (Ping timeout)
Tarlia> Ping likes him
Tams> oh yea
Tarlia> She must be in the mood for boy toys tonight.
Tams> hehe


* Draco_Platina has joined #wyverns_library
Draco_Platina> hello.
Draco_Platina> ... they be dead.
Canthlian> Yes, we're dead.
Canthlian> *Shifty eyes*
Canthlian> Nope, not having an orgy... not having an orgy at all...
Draco_Platina> hmm. Is it a tasteful orgy?
Canthlian> What orgy?!? What do you know?!? Who told you!?!
Canthlian> ... wait, I'm a #wl-ite, why am I bothering?
Canthlian> It's a carnal riot of debauchery so eyewateringly filthy that it's been banned in 17 countries.
Draco_Platina> hm. not the US though, right?
Canthlian> Yes, even the US.
Canthlian> We're illegal #wl-ites. >:)
Draco_Platina> ah. must be pretty bad to be outlawed in the US.
Canthlian> This is #wl. You even have to ask?
Draco_Platina> no. guess not.


Canthlian> Because if you DO post that, I'll take you down with me. Remember that night a couple of weeks ago involving the koala, the ginger beer bottle, and the 3 strippers?
Melusina> no.
Canthlian> Exactly.
Canthlian> Blackmail in self defence is such a wonderful thing...
Melusina> blackmail? If I remembered it, it'll be all over wlquotes by now.
Canthlian> ...................................
Canthlian> Good point. Very good point.
Canthlian> How do you blackmail someone with no shame? o_O
Melusina> can't blackmail anyone who has--- yeah what you said


Raindance> I'm so bored ;-;
Raindance> I don't want to finish stripping
Raindance> my desk!
Moon_Fox> ...
Moon_Fox> O.O
Raindance> ummm...
Moon_Fox> Meg..
Raindance> bad enter key...


Canthlian> Feared the universe over for it's destructive power, the papercut has caused plague and famine on a scale never before seen.
Raindance> you scare me...


* KassFireborn cracks up
* SisTabby picks up the pieces.
* Melusina breaks out the superglue
KassFireborn> **peices vibrate and say** oh dear
* KassFireborn is now known as KassPeices
* Melusina hears several dozen pieces of Kass choruses "Oh dear"
Melusina> you guys need to work on your harmony
KassPeices> sorry
Melusina> Glue?
SisTabby> You also need to work on your spelling.


Storyteller> I seem to have an anti-flikker mode.
* Storyteller ponders. Did the translaters realise that "flikker" is a dutch word for gay?
Storyteller> hrm
Storyteller> The mode is set to "adjustable"


Azazel> ahh, things would be a lot easier if gette were online right now
Zeke> that's your answer for everything.
Azazel> yes
* KassFireborn composes a message
KassFireborn> "Dear Gette: your plan to make #wl totally dependant on you is proceeding well. Please give further instructions. Your obidient servant; Kass."


Canthlian: Kass and Gette seem to conspire together where I'm concerned.
Canthlian: I don't get opposing projects, but I get projects!
Tygress> heh
Canthlian> For example, I mentioned I was bored, and found myself tied up in a net and being forced to proof-read rules documents.
Tygress> You know, if they ever joined forces on one specific project... my god, it'd be like black hole, sucking the entire known world in it's wake..
* Tygress shudders
Canthlian> They have already.
Canthlian> That's why it's so dark outside.
* Tygress looks..
Canthlian> If it's bright there, that's the time differential.
Tygress> oh my god, it's happened. Run, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! Its KassaGetton!!!
Canthlian> XD
Canthlian> Don't worry. #wl project food will be safe.
Canthlian> They need someone to tidy the floors in Project Hell.


* Canthlian idly wonders what number wonder of the world he is
Dawn-Earth> 666 ;)



From #Lothlorien

* fatima bounces about, wrapping squirrel tail around Rama
* Avaz[Spell_Writing] goes through his spell list, and has Defense Sphere cast aruond himself and his Rama Brother. ^_^
* fatima squirrel eats through sphere
* RamaStorm decides fatima must be a large squirrel, as he's rather too large for a tail wrap of anyplace
fatima> Never comment on a lady's size Rama!


* Zeke is tired of shampoo. wants real poo


Hermes> Chessty just needs to remember to put the typo dmons back int he closet when she's done with them.
Chess> ...
* Chess tries to squash the daemon in her closet
* Chess as well hides all 'T's from hermes
Chess> :P
Hermes> Dammi !
Chess> ^-^
Hermes> I wan ha " " back!
Chess> no chance.
* Chess sits down on the Ts.
RivoClavis> s op i !
Chess> ...
Hermes> yeah... 'cause i s no funny anymore!
* Chess catches the ts and sits down on them as well
RivoClavis> his sucks big ime!
* Chess just confused herself o.o
* Chess falls from the t's, they escape and run her over @_@
RivoClavis> Chess, aren' " "'s qui e poin y?
Chess> .... @_@ ?
Chess> @_@!!


Tyto_Alba> We can all count on Hermes being the first to desecrate virgin posting ground. >.>
fatima> every volleyball tournament, they called out sh*t
Tyto_Alba> How'd they call the *?
Hermes> shasteriskt!
DragonYosh> easy, penny
Tyto_Alba> XD XD
DragonYosh> Exactly
ND4SPDR> There's nothing wrong with the word shit in this channel.
DragonYosh> or "s-star-it"
* Anty starcrafts at DragonYosh
* Tyto_Alba laughs and laughs and stuff
Raindance> it's other words...
Hermes> hence the teasing, ND. :)
Tyto_Alba> That's my new word.
Tyto_Alba> Shasteriskt.
* DragonYosh STARCRAFTS BACK
DragonYosh> =D =D =D
fatima> I try to avoid it, as I work with kids. I don't need it or worse to just pop out one day at work.
Tyto_Alba> Fasterisk?
Hermes> lol
Tyto_Alba> Dasteriskm
DragonYosh> Oooo
Tyto_Alba> Son of a Basterisktch.
Tyto_Alba> Hmmm...
* Tyto_Alba sighs.
* Tyto_Alba pines some more.
* leafykitty oaks
* Tyto_Alba birches
* leafykitty dogflowers
Tyto_Alba> ...dogflower?
leafykitty> .. dogflowering sounds like some exotic sexual position :/
Tyto_Alba> dogwood you mean?
Tyto_Alba> ovO
leafykitty> .. thats what i mean
leafykitty> t
leafykitty> roflmao
Tyto_Alba> XD
Ryoshi> ... what exactly DOESN'T sound like some exotic sexual position to you?
* Tyto_Alba falls over laughing!
Allegro_Dragonstorm> I don't think I'm going to get married.... my standards are too high
Ganymedes> I don't think I'm going to get married either... I'm too much of a slut.
ReginaMB> lol
Ganymedes> ...that and, well, it wouldn't be recognized by 48 of the 50 states.
Ryoshi> .
Allegro_Dragonstorm> o.o
Ryoshi> i think they can recognize a slut when they see one ;D
* Raindance gets a bell on a piece of string and sneaks up on DW.... ties the bell to him and runs!
Tyto_Alba> o/` Just hear that big wuff ting-a-ling, ring-ding-ding-a-ling tooo... you know it's lovely weather for a run from a predator tooo... o/` >.>
* Tyto_Alba goes back to running around in circles.
Ryoshi> heheh
* Raindance laughs
Zeke> *L*
Raindance> XD
Chess|Writing> ...? oo
Shaitan> This entire thing is a bunch of quickies.
Sin> On which one is the best.
Scribble> bwahahaha
Dark_Wolf> I like quickies :D
Scribble> no comment
Tyto_Alba> XD
Shaitan> ooops. that came out wrong, didn't it.
* Rivo|F00ding goes around pulling all the false beards in #loth to find Bosq
Lullaby> Bosq isn't hiding behind a fake beard.
* Rivo|F00ding looks up the dresses then?
* Raindance falls over as the scotsman comes on her playlist x.x
Tyto_Alba> . . .
Tyto_Alba> Ohhh the places you'll go. >.>
* Raindance considers rewording that...
Raindance> nah...
Tyto_Alba> You know, this gutter is niiiice.
j0ker|w0rk> ^^
* Tyto_Alba splashes at Rainy.
* Raindance wallows in the gutter
* Raindance splashes Penny back
Raindance> eew poo-gas.... I hate poo- gas...
* Becca just laughs!
Tyto_Alba> XD
Tyto_Alba experimentally places a nice chaise lounge in front of Hermes.
* Hermes does -not- chaise the lounge...
* Tyto_Alba makes note of this and tries an ottoman.
* Hermes uses it to construct an empire
* Tyto_Alba notes "creative use of podiatric furnishings" and impliments the sofa principle.
* Hermes notes that so-fa his ottoman empire is not accomplishing all that much, so sets out a ridiculous lounge for his subjects to chaise
Hermes> its like the holy grail to my people.
* Tyto_Alba chaises after the lounge.
* Hermes hires a chairman to see after the chaising of the lounge while he takes care of things from the throne
* joker|nwM de-puns Hermes
* Hermes gives out deskriptions of what he wishes from his cabinet, then recliners.
* Hermes hears news he just can't sit for from the Filing Cabinet Chair and comes up with a counter.


* Joins: Storyteller
Hermes> hey teller
Tyto_Alba> BOLLOCKS
Hermes> sorry, I retract my "hey," Penny.
Hermes> ...didn't mean to piss you off so much, I was just joking.
Hermes> ;
Storyteller> hello
* Tyto_Alba spits her tongue out at Hermes. :p
* Hermes tosses it back
Hermes> no thanks, I already have one.
Hermes> ...it was a nice gesture, though
* Quits: Tyto_Alba (Connection reset by peer)
Hermes> o.
* Joins: Tyto_Alba
Tyto_Alba> Mrrrr....
* Hermes didn't do it! Honest! .
Tyto_Alba> The lesson children, never mock a god.
* Hermes secretly appoints Peer to the head of his Cabinet of Cans.


Tyto_Alba> Today is the first day of the rest of your LIFE
* Tyto_Alba runs that way ---->
Mad_Wolf> <----- *bumps into tyto*
* Tyto_Alba falls down about here --><
Tyto_Alba> *thud*
Mad_Wolf> interesting math problem with 0w3ls colliding with wolves
Tyto_Alba> Does it have anything to do with vectors? I'm no good with vectors.





Collected by Megan Larson and Megan Starks


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Copyright © 2003 Woodworks eZine