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 This web page is part of a hosted copy of the WoodWorks eZine at Elfwood.  (#671)
The eZine is no longer updated, nor does it have it's own domain left... This also means that it's no use to contact the WoodWorks editors, etc, etc...
 
Madame Million's Horoscopes
by Madame Million

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You're going to drive yourself crazy this month. Try not to cut off an ear, and remember that the toaster didn't really mean to call you a dirty name. It's just in its programming. Mercifully, good art and writing frequently comes of insanity.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Have patience, my dear. It will serve you well this month, particularly when dealing with computers. Use perspective, in your art, and aim for a sense of grandeur in your writing. Try not to get mesmerized by blinking lights or really bad music.

Aries (March 21 - April 20)
You'll feel more than a little rushed this month, but you'll find a way to balance what has to get done with what you want to do. Flipping someone off could lead to very bad things, so be careful with that finger. Experiment with the concept of journaling. Consider the letter X.

Taurus (April 21 - May 20)
Language is the theme of your month. Whether it's learning one, creating one, or simply delving into your current tongue, you'll find the beauty of words overwhelming this month. Revel in it. Be good to your fingers this month, and consider a manicure as a special treat.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You won't feel inspired to sit down and practice your creative craft, but you'll have very good results if you try to squeeze the muse anyway. Take the time to thank people who help you out this month, and you'll find that appreciation is worth a great deal. Don't point lasers at your eyes.

Cancer (June 21 - July 20)
Don't poke sleeping animals. That includes spouses and siblings. The focus this month is legs. Multi-legged insects may show up in your writing or art, but hopefully not in your bed. See about cleaning out that junk drawer or purse.

Leo (July 21 - August 21)
Your energy is back! Make good use of it, and really concentrate on your writing or art. If you are serious about improving, you will make huge strides this month. Others will notice, and you will receive a record amount of praise. Try not to let one sour comment ruin it for you.

Virgo (August 22 - September 22)
You will be frustrated in your efforts to put muse to paper. Don't despair! You'll have a lot of good ideas that you'll be able to come back to later and use well. Just remember to write them all down. You'll feel particularly air-headed later in the month.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Things will take a serious turn in your life this month, but it may be a well-needed return to reality. Re-evaluate the things you find important, and do some dedicated self-exploring in your creative pursuits. It's cheaper than therapy.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 22)
Your sense of smell will be particularly sensitive this month. It is a good time to consider clichés, and how to avoid them, particularly when it comes to starry-eyed love. Someone near and dear to you will be in need of a lot of attention and reassurance. Don't be stingy with the compliments!

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 20)
Someone you find inspiring will do something very stupid. Forgive them. Concentrate on drawing and writing about hair in your creative endeavors, and you'll be moderately happy with the results. You'll find some food that's been left out too long, much to your disgust and dismay.

Capricorn (December 21 - January 19)
What a month for travel! If you have a chance, get out and about, because you'll have the best luck catching connections and running into very interesting people. Plan some time into your schedule for art or writing, or you'll never find the time for it.



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