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Madame Million's Horoscopes
by Madame Million

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Reconsider that desire to romantically link those two characters you've been creating with. No one wants to see that happen, even the people who say they want to see that happen. If you're dead set on writing up some romance, you'll have to break down and create a new character. Don't worry, you can kill them off for lots of gory, emotional story or art fodder later.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Angst! Slash! You know they're evil, but you'll be tempted to indulge in them anyway. Go ahead. It's like breaking a diet, you'll have to write nothing but dry academic work for a week afterwards, but it'll get the monkey off your back if you get those lurid plots and possibly tasteless scenes onto paper.

Aries (March 21 - April 20)
Ditch the capitalist attitude for a bit and do some art or writing that is solely for you. Your brain will thank you, even if your pocketbook doesn't. Give some thought to the structure of your to-do list. You aren't going to be able to squeeze in everything you want to. Eat beans.

Taurus (April 21 - May 20)
Experiment with something you either haven't ever done, or something you haven't done in a looooong time. Sit down for some good fluffy reading time at some point, too. No, nothing deep or serious or research oriented, just brain-candy.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
What's wrong with you? You shouldn't like that stuff! Your tastes are more sophisticated than that! Fortunately, people still like you. Try not to fly off the handle over those little things that irritate you so badly.

Cancer (June 21 - July 20)
Sit down and have some eye-to-eye time with the little people in your life. It's a good month to appreciate the things you tend to take for granted and repay some small kindnesses you've been on the receiving end of. Avoid green and the use of the word 'beef' in your art and writing, respectively.

Leo (July 21 - August 21)
Put it down and step away! Yes, it's addictive and you know you want to spend way to much time with that evil vice, but there are bigger and better things out there with your name all over 'em. There are also some chores you need to do, but I'm not going to recommend those. Go with the color mauve.

Virgo (August 22 - September 22)
Go with the flow! There will be projects galore that you'll want to be involved in, and you should go where ever your muse takes you. Don't expect sense or sanity. But then, you never did, did you?

Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Yeah? And nuts to you, too.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 22)
Taking something for granted is going to come back and royally mess up a friendship. Take a moment for gratitude of the little things and you'll save a lot of grief and unhappiness later in the month. Try to drink more water, and when sitting down at the art table, don't bring it with you.

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 20)
Joy! A long-awaited update to that favorite series will be everything you hoped it would be, except for one or two minor details that you should be willing to forgive. And you have got to let go of that hidden crush you've been nurturing. They're fictional! Get over it!

Capricorn (December 21 - January 19)
Creative energy will take a bit of a back seat to mundane, boring, pay-the-bills sorts of things, but keep a sticky pad handy for jotting down the occasional idea. Take some you-time and catch up that favorite webcomic or book series. And cut back on those foods that are giving you gas.

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