Klimpen's Corner
by Klimpen
Klimpen is better than you.
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Dear Klimpen,
You’re just the cutest little kitty in the whole wide world!! Thomas is lucky to have you! Do you ever let the fame of being Elfwood’s mascot go to your head?
– Sammi
Dear Sammi,
Thanks. Thomas wouldn’t survive a day without me, lemme tell ya. And, no, I’m fairly modest about being the mascot. It’s no big deal. I will, however, humbly accept any cat treats, food, toys, houseplants, or other gifts if you send them my way.
–Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
What’s your favorite meal of the day?
– Will
Dear Will,
All of them! Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack time, brunch, tea time, second breakfast, elevensies, you name it, I like it! The more the merrier! And people wonder why I’m so chubby.
–Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
Are you the daddy of my cat’s babies? XD
- Tami
Dear Tami,
No, I believe you’re confusing me with someone else. Besides, I haven’t felt the slightest urge to even think about such things for a long time. I don’t know why. One trip to the vet, and suddenly sleeping and eating seem so much more fulfilling…
–Klimpen
Dear klimpin,
U SUCK. i dont know why tomas even puts up wiht u. Ur gallerie isnt even fatasy or scifi so why is it even there???? cats r stoopid anyway dogs r beter.
-Sm0k3
*stops in the middle of batting around a catnip mouse and glances up* …I’m sorry, did you say something?
–Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
I keep getting all these cookies from people, and they taste a little too digital for my liking. Is there anything I could do to improve their palatability?
- Jeff
Dear Jeff,
That’s easy. Make them bake you real ones!
–Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
I have a "friend" who suffers from a severe Slingo addiction. How can I- er, she rehabilitate herself and reintegrate into society?
- Penny
Dear Penny,
I suggest weaning yourself off of it with other games. I prefer Scrabble, because the little letter pieces are so much fun to bat around. Mousetrap is a definite must. Checkers and chess are also fun games. Charades is one game I’m especially good at! (My favorite: Imitate a lifeless blob!) If all else fails, go to Slingo Anonymous, where your problem will be treated with tact and sincerity.
–Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
Eliza playd a rilly meen joek on me 4 april foolz n now i am in therpy bcuz every1 said tehy hate anime n stuff an that sux wat should i do?! ;______;
- Love, kawaiigurlsama.
Dear KGS,
I suggest you find Sm0k3 and take typing classes together.
–Klimpen
Klimpen is fat and grumpy and still answering your letters.
to him with your burning questions. You can also use the WW contact form.
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Copyright © 2004 Woodworks eZine
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This web page is part of a hosted copy of the WoodWorks eZine at Elfwood. (#553)
