Dear Woodworks,

I wanted to react on the article called "Love, Online and Overseas" in this month's issue.

My Name is Jill and I was very touched by this issue as I am in the same situation. I have been seeing my fiancee now for almost 3 years, it's 3 years the 7th of October, over such a distance. I live in Belgium and he lives in England, it's a little closer than Oregon and Finland, but when you are forced to live apart it doesn't matter if it's 10 miles or a thousand miles, if you cannot see each other whenever you want, it hurts just as much.

Just like Ren and Juha we met on the internet. Matthew, my fiancee, contacted me on ICQ with a request if I wanted to talk a bit about Playstation and games. I accepted and we got talking. Soon it became regular that we would see each other every night and talk to each other. At a certain point he was having some problems with his girlfriend at the time and eventually split up with her and I tried comforting him with long talks online. What he didn't know is that I had already fallen in love with him a while ago and I had broken up with my boyfriend at the time to stay true to my feelings.

Eventually Matthew confessed his feelings to me and I followed, and we talked about if we could make this work. There was no harm in trying so we did.

A lot of my and his friends said we were crazy and they wouldn't accept it. Especially on my side as for a fact I hadn't seen a picture of him yet, for he's very shy about his appearance. I can't explain it but something deep inside of me said to trust him. And that feeling was right. When he showed his picture to me for the first time near Christmas, about 3 months into the relationship, he looked exactly like I had imagined: beautiful! As our relationship grew tighter we had to fight off jealous ex-girlfriends and annoying family members and friends, but we stood tall and never lost faith.

Of course like any normal couple we also had our arguments but like Ren in her story tells us, we soon discovered it was far more important to be happy than to be right about something. We agreed on never going offline, no matter what the time was and what we had on the menu the next day, if we had an arguement. We would always settle things or at least calm each other down before bed. That did help us out a lot, loads of sleepless nights were avoided.

March 11th of the first year we were together, we heard each other on the phone for the very first time. His voice sounded nervous but heavenly to me. Soon we started calling each other every Friday night as my computer wasn't powerful enough to do microphone conversations.

We kept talking to each other online and gettting more and more eager to meet each other, even if it were just for a day, to answer so many questions we both still had. Near the end of September of that year, a couple of days before we were together for a year, I got my mum that far to travel with me to England to King's Lynn where he lives. I remember waiting for Matthew at the station we agreed to meet, after 5 hours of driving and boating and god knows what... but he wasn't there. I got a little scared at first that maybe he had seen me and maybe the emotions were too big on him for the first time, but what I didn't know was that he was actually running a little late and coming out of the other direction I was looking in, so all of a sudden my mum patted me on the shoulder and said "I think someone's here to see you"

As soon as I saw him I ran into his arm and hugged him for the very first time. I was so happy, nervous, relieved, that I was shaking on my legs. We spent a lovely 3 days together until we had to part again. I hate those moments... the goodbyes, they're horrible. Especially if you're the one leaving, you feel as if you're leaving the other one behind and it pierces you.

As time went on we met a bit more regular and he got his mum to let me stay over and eventually I got my dad to let Matthew stay in our house, so we have been seeing each other more regularly for longer times, but the goodbyes never get any easier.

Next year is what we are looking forward the most. I have got a scholarship to work for 3 months in Cambridge, about an hour from where Matthew lives, so that gives us a chance to be together for 3 whole months. It will be the ultimate test of being together, but I have no doubt that we will pass with flying colours.

But of course our problems don't end there, just like with Ren and Juha, we have to decide where to live, Belgium or England. I always thought it would be England but after good consideration it looks like it's going to be Belgium, because both our futures look brighter here.

I just wanted to contribute my story to Ren and Juha to show them that they are not alone in this, that we know exactly what it's like to have a relationship like this. I hope that our story gives Juha and Ren extra motivation on their relationship, as their story sure has for us. It's nice to see it's not as impossible as people around us kept telling us (that has gotten better now) and it feels good to know we did the right thing by following our hearts. I can also confirm that we both have learned that the most important thing is a relationship is communication and talking about everything. The Internet gave us an amazing chance to get to know each other before all the physical comes into play. I believe it's the way many relationships should start, with a lot of talking and finding out what one another likes and dislikes.

I am not sure if this letter will be published or not, but I would certainly like for it to be forwarded to Ren and Juha, for it's not easy finding people in the same situation.

You are an example to us!

Sincerely,

Jill / Ayame