Klimpen is better than you.
Are you aware that your name means “lump” in Finnish?
No, I wasn’t. How odd. Thomas says I resemble a lump more often than not, though, so I suppose it fits! Silly humans and their unappreciative attitude toward the values of a nice, sound nap…
Have you ever been on TV?
No, but many people like to compare me with that silly Garfield fellow. I don’t know why. I hate lasagna (Human food! Blegh!) and I’m quite fond of Mondays.
Why are there new pictures all over Elfwood? Where did they come from? Did you draw them? (I mean like the lost in the woods page pictures.)
No, I didn’t draw them. Thomas has more artistic ability in his thumbnail than I do in my entire pudgy, cuddly body. (Though this isn’t to say I haven’t tried! Once I knocked over a bunch of his paints and made a work of art of my own on the kitchen floor! He didn’t seem to share my opinion of it though.) I suppose there are new pictures because the old ones got boring! I dunno. I just shred the rejected application forms. *Preens*
Why aren’t you a dog?
That’s just like me asking you “Why aren’t you a slug?” Come on. Whatever created me obviously thought I was destined for better things than fetching sticks and gnawing on bones.
How do you feel about the mercury levels in tuna fish?
I wasn’t aware of the mercury levels in tuna fish. Should I be worried?
Have you ever received any kind of public or media attention as the pet of the founder of Elfwood? It -is- the biggest amateur gallery of fantasy, scifi and short stories online, after all.
No, I regret to say that I haven’t. It’s not fair. Elfwood would be nothing without me! NOTHING! I’m the best mascot ever! I get countless comments about how cute I am every day! Why the press doesn’t swamp our front yard every day with their flashing cameras and probing questions is completely beyond me.
|Klimpen is fat and grumpy and still answering your letters.
to him with your burning questions. You can also use the WW contact form.
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