Klimpen is better than you.
|
Dear Klimpen,
What is your favorite food?
Love,
Jane
Dear Jane,
I’ll eat almost anything except shrimp. Shrimp are just disgusting. I’ve had a few bad experiences with milk before, but for some reason I can’t stay away from it—I always crave the things I can’t have. Usually store bought cat food will do nicely. I prefer wet to dry. Feel free to send that and any tuna flavored cat treats to Sweden please! Thomas will give you our address.
- Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
You're so fat and pampered! Haven't you ever hunted before?
~ Sly
Dear Shelly,
I am not an outside cat, so I rarely get the chance to hunt. That’s not to say I don’t make due with what I have. I spend many hours watching birds outside the window. Oh, if that pane of glass didn’t separate us, I’d be all over them like a two-year-old on cake! I also routinely prey on paperwads, tennis balls, computer mice, crickets, flies, and Thomas’s toes.
- Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
What does that little "M" on your forehead mean?
- Jake
Dear Jake,
You know, I don’t know! I’ve always assumed it stood for “majestic”. Perhaps “mysterious”? “Magnificent”? “Mmmagazine advice columnist”? I couldn’t tell you.
- Klimpen
Dear Klimpen,
My dog is depressed. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Give him a treat and throw the tennis ball around a few times. It should perk him right up. Also be sure to give him lots of love and affection—and scratch him behind the ears while you’re at it. If that doesn’t work, maybe you should try a pet psychologist instead of asking some random tabby cat over the Internet.
- Klimpen
This web page is part of a hosted copy of the WoodWorks eZine at Elfwood. (#492)
