Taken me ages ... but here I am! :\
I love this (no big surprises there ... perhaps you could consider writing a bad poem just to get some variety in your comments). The open-endedness of your poetry is probably what I love second-most about it, right after the strength of your meters - there are so many different things this poem could be talking about, and so many possibilities for the persona of the Lady, that it suits everyone.
I actually have a little constructivity to contribute today:
How clear I remember your look of disgust
As if I had smeared some immaculate trust -
Back then I felt guilty. I now understand
How fully I lay in the palm of her hand.
Perhaps 'YOUR hand' might fit better here, since he was talking directly to the lady a moment before?
Now, from constructivity to general randomness ...
'I smelled something sweet - the perfume you had worn'
I puzzled myself mightily with this line until I remembered you guys have different accents for some words! Not PERfume, but perFUME! Hee. Sorry, just a random bit of my dim-ness that amused me there.
'Oh lady, my lady, you weren't unaware
How perfect you looked with the moon in your hair
Was there even once that your laughter was free
Or was it all acted out solely for me?'
This is my favourite part of the whole poem, especially the first two lines. I just love it. Can't exactly say why, either ... already spent the last of my constructivity, sorry! Brian Buckley
replies: "Thank you very much, as always - for the thoughtful comments as well as the compliments. For the her/your problem, I actually had "your" in my original version and was surprised to see "her" here online... just a typo. Thanks for catching that, I'll fix that next time I update. And about perfume, I didn't even think of that... in my dictionary both pronunciations are correct, but I'm so used to perFUME that it didn't even occur to me. Ah well. Glad you liked it!"