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Ashley Jane Brodie

"The ´Black Horse´ Saloon" by Ashley Jane Brodie

SF&F Picture 6 out of 7 by Ashley Jane Brodie
 
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This is really, really, really a work in progress! it is an extract from a vampire story I am writing. Comment if you wish but it really isn't very good! It reminds me of a roleplay script every time I read it. I'll probably remove all thoughts made by anyone other than Destiny and Max.
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Maxwell sat idly at the bar of the "Black Horse" Saloon, watching the girls dance on stage. He noticed the sun setting outside, watching as it became dark. His rifle rested against the bar top, and he lifted his glass to his lips once more. A girl sat beside him and ordered a drink. She looked around the room and back to Maxwell. Her name was April. She looked at Maxwell again. "Hello." She said amiably.

Another girl walked around doing her job of amusing drunk men. Her name was Clare and she sat on their tables, her rich red lips giving a fake smile to them, her fangs glistening in the light. She laughed along with them; her outfit was of red and black. She got off their table and walked over to Maxwell. She sat down next to him and gave a small smile.

He looked to her and smiled. With a nod he spoke
"Miss"

Destiny walked into the saloon and saw him. She grinned and slipped behind a table. She was tall, with long jet black hair and she wore leather pants with a black shirt and long black leather duster. She ordered a drink and watched him keenly, wondering if he would realise she was watching.

April smiled at Maxwell, ignoring the other girl.

Destiny laughed silently at the assortment of girls pushing themselves on him and sat back.

Clare ordered a glass of red wine, her dirty blonde hair sat in a messed up bun, two strands curled and falling onto her delicate innocent face. She had dark green eyes that looked as though they were an endless hole in her pretty face. She received her drink and gently placed her red lips on the rim. She took a small sip.
Maxwell looked to this other girl with a strange kind of wonder and curiosity. Looking over the frames of his glasses, he smiled to her.
"A little… young for this town, aren’t you?" He said, rattling the ice cubes in his glass. Clare looked over to him and she placed her drink down.
"I’m 18. But like anyone cares how old I am" She said coldly, she turned back to her drink and took another sip.

Destiny walked to the other end of the bar and started talking to a dark man, ensuring that Maxwell was still in her line of vision. She smiled at the man and whispered seductive words to him. Again she laughed silently at the girls.

A conscious eye flicked now and again to Destiny, watching her actions closely as she talks with the man.
Destiny started playing with the dark mans collar, running her fingers softly along the material. She pulled him closer and whispered very quietly into his ear, her eyes on Maxwell the entire time.

Maxwell smirked. That was her alright. The vampire everyone had been talking about. He patted the pocket on his coat containing her picture, and thought back to the distraught couple who hired him after she had taken their son and several horses.

White teeth flashed in the small amount of light in the saloon. Destiny stood and led the dark man into a back room, him completely under her spell. She needed to drink and knew that only one person in the bar would dare intervene, however he was slightly distracted at the moment by the two girls.

April looked at Maxwell and knew what he was thinking.

Quickly, Maxwell gathered up his rifle with one hand, slinging the mighty object over his shoulder. He made his way towards the door of the back room.

Destiny led the dark man to a corner of the back room. She locked eyes with him and her violent violet eyes caused him to stop in shock. She licked her beautiful rounded lips and leaned towards his neck. Destiny softly kissed the dark mans neck, then growled and took her first drink of the night. The blood staining her lips red. Suddenly, Maxwell kicked open the door, the wood splintering under the strain of his boot and light flooded the room, illuminating the liaison. He scowled at her and pushed back his glasses, aiming his rifle "Put him down, princess." He growled.

She licked her lips and the man slumped to the floor, drained of his mortal life. Slowly Destiny turned to face Maxwell. "You’re too late honey." She commented, smiling a sharp smile.

Clare placed her drink down, hearing the bang of the door falling to the ground, she quickly ran over filled with curiosity. She appeared near the doorway, she smirked seeing the blood spill and licked her lips. She wanted some badly, but the rifle frightened her at the moment. April meanwhile looked at all the drunken men, looking for one that would make a good meal.

Destiny took a step towards Maxwell, her eyes luminescent and her hair swinging in her face. He cursed at himself and steadied the rifle on her "Only for him, and countless others. Not for you." He said.

Destiny looks at the girl behind Maxwell, guessing the odds. She smiled at Maxwell and took another step forward, her hair swinging seductively about her white cheeks. "A girl has to drink. What do you plan to do about it?" Destiny took another step forward.

Clare sighed. She nodded to Destiny and lip-synched to Destiny, "You have him". She walked off. She looked at the drunken men near April, the mortals were easy targets. She walked over, a smirk across her rich lips and sat on their table.

Maxwell closed his eyes, and pulled down hard on the trigger. Destiny was already behind Maxwell before he could open his eyes. She knocked the rifle to the floor and kissed his neck softly. "Vampiric speed is amazing." She whispered seductively. She let go of him and walked out the saloon.

Outside the saloon Destiny slunk into the shadows and watched the door. Waiting, wondering if he would come after her.
Maxwell growled and gathered up his rifle, following her out. He had never failed a job yet, and didn’t plan on starting with Destiny. The afore-mentioned vampire smiled when she saw him come through the swinging doors and blended with the shadows, impossible for any mortal or immortal to see. His mind cleared of her seductions as he focused on the night air around him. Swinging his rifle around, he concentrated on the surrounding area. Destiny silently leapt to the rooftop, resting behind a wall where it would be impossible for her to be shot. She watched him, her vampire sight easily penetrating the dark night.

Now that that back room was no longer occupied, April stood and pulled a man by his hand. She brought him to the room, him under her spell.

Maxwell ventured further out, into the town square. A mist had come in from a nearby port town, and he squinted into the haze, losing sight of the saloon in his search. Destiny leapt to the floor and grabbed Maxwell's arms, again she whispered seductively in his ear. "Go back inside and into the back room. I'll be waiting." She kissed his neck again and disappeared in a second. April kissed her victim passionately, then kissed his neck gently. She was teasing him, having fun and toying with him. Finally it was time for the kill and she viciously bit his neck, draining his body swiftly, savouring the feel of her teeth popping open the man's skin.

Destiny stood in the door to the back room of the saloon. She narrowed her eyes and approached the other vampire. April dropped the man to the floor when she finished and looked at Destiny. Maxwell, still outside, scowled, cursing himself again. Picking his rifle up, he searched through the dense fog, finding the lights of the saloon. Spurred by both determination and desire, he pushed open the door of the back room, stepping in. April looked nervously from Destiny to Maxwell.

Destiny slowly walked to her and breathed in her scent. "You are young." She whispered. "And foolish." Destiny looked at the two men on the floor and quickly tossed them to the corner. "Always clean up and watch out for vampire hunters like our friend."
Destiny walked slowly in front of the other vampire and towards Maxwell once more.
April narrowed her eyes at Destiny.
"Slightly slow for a famed hunter aren't you." Breathed Destiny. She raised an eyebrow "I assume that is what you are?"
Maxwell trained his rifle on her, his hands shaking a little. "I don’t specialise in vampires or demons. I’m a bounty hunter, problem solver, etc, etc."

Destiny walked forwards two more steps, her feet landing directly in front of each other. "And what are you hunting now." She whispered, each breath she took seductive and syllable she uttered tantalising
The other vampire watched the bounty hunter's reaction carefully, noticing his trembling hands, wondering how a bounty hunter could be so weak.
He backed up, hitting the door with his back, a little surprised "I... I will kill you..!" He stuttered, holding the rifle forward and trying to aim at her.
Destiny ran her tongue over her red lips and sharp fangs and smiled. She spun around and laughed inanly. She stopped suddenly and locked eyes with Maxwell.
“I don't think so." She whispered
His gaze caught her own, almost falling into her deep pooled eyes. He murmured something incomprehensible, the rifle slipping a little from his grasp and teetering in his hand.

Destiny shook her head and ran a finger over her teeth. She walked over to him and put a hand on the gun. "Where will you shoot me?" She asked "Will it be... here?" She shoved the gun in her breast directly over her heart. Again she locked eyes with Maxwell. Destiny grinned. "You can be like me you know." She whispered. "You can live forever. Don't you want to live forever?"
He kept his gaze to hers, unable to break away, his will disappearing before her. He nodded slowly, his grip on the rifle shaky and lightly spoke. "Y...yes..."
April wanted to help him, which was an odd thing. She sent a message to him in her mind “Don't listen to her!”
Destiny laughed. "I thought so." She lowered the gun to his side and leaned towards him, her breath on his throat. "Say the word, and I can make you immortal." She leaned in towards his neck, her hair tickling his cheek and she paused. "Just say the word."
April couldn't take it.
"Don't" She growled as she narrowed her eyes Destiny.

He dropped the gun, a blossomed desire and adoration moving him to wrap his arms around her. He shivered lightly, unable to force the word from his throat.
Destiny turned her head and looked at April, her eyes dangerous and her expression full of thunder.
"I think it's his choice." She hissed.
"If he wasn't in a trance, it would be fair......." April bared her fangs at her.
"Say it." Whispered Destiny, turning back to the intoxicated mortal. "Just tell me and you can live forever. You can live eternally in this world, and experience things you could never dream of. Immortality. Just say the word, and you can join me, forever" “Do you want this gift?"

He squeezed at her gently, his answer erupting from his throat "Yes...Yess..." That was all Destiny needed. She lunged in towards him and bared her fangs. Her teeth touched his throat.
He gasped, his eyes and mind filled with her black delusions, and he held her, beguiled.
She ripped open two holes in his flesh and almost drained him of his mortal life, the blood streaming down her throat in a red hot flow of life. She saw a thousand things of his mortal life in that embrace. When she had drunk she held him away from her, saw his drowsy expression. She smiled, her fangs dripping his blood.
April hissed, but there was nothing she could do now.

Destiny ripped open her wrist and held it out to him. "If you want to live eternally, drink. Drink from the fount of darkness and eternal life."
He looked over her, the slow realisation of her true nature becoming apparent. The delusions faded, and his features begged to recoil in horror, but he was too drained.
"Drink," Destiny hissed. "Or I will kill you now."
Slowly, his lips found her wrist, and he looked up at her, clamping his lips over her wound. His eyes scanned her face with a weary scrutiny.
Destiny's eyes flicked to April and back down at Maxwell.
She smiled at him, and as she did a droplet of his own blood dripped from her fangs to the floor. A flame had sprung up in her violet eyes. April leaned against the wall, she could not believed that a mortal she thought was supposed to be strong had fallen for this woman's temptations.

Destiny screamed in frustration. "Drink!" She cried. "You could live like this, or as a monster of the night, a killer with immeasurable strength and life." He drank lightly from her, tasting the darkness and rich evils of her blood with a childlike hunger. Soon he was craving it, his hand wrapped tightly around her wrist. Destiny laughed an insane laugh.
"Good," She whispered, "Very good."
April narrowed her eyes, she would do anything to be mortal again and this mortal, this weak, pathetic mortal was giving it all up.
His eyes dark, he drank harder, spurred beyond imagining at her black promises. He bit into the wound, desperate for more of her.
Destiny drew her wrist away and drew Maxwell to his feet. She kissed him, sinking her fangs into his lips and tasting her own blood in his mouth. She laughed. "You're immortal." She whispered, delight filling her voice as she surveyed her child.
April looked at Maxwell, anger in her eyes, she sent another message to him
"You pathetic idiot, I would do anything to be mortal, you can never love anyone, you can never see the light of day, you can never die, even if you wanted to... it isn't fun!"
He tasted the mixture of blood, and his eyes took on a new crimson shade, his arms around her, kissing her with a pent up passion and lust, remnants of life.

Destiny gently pushed Maxwell away from her, surveying his body as it filled with vampiric life, muscles defining and hardening, shoulders straightening. She stretched out her long limbs like a cat. She turned to April.
"I heard that." She said, a smile playing on her lips. "I am a lot stronger and older than you young one. Don't think you can hide things from me."
April shook in rage.
"I have more power than you will ever have; you just seduce your prey... Is that what you call strength?!?" She rolled up her sleeves, revealing a small tattoo on her forearm depicting a dack rose with a serpent wrapping around it.
Destiny laughed.
"Oh, a tattoo," she snarled sarcastically "I'm threatened." She stared at April with the full force of her violet eyes and a flame lit up on the floor and made its way across the floor towards April. "Power and strength come with age." She hissed. "And I am an old hag of vampires. I am over ten times your petty age." The flame slowly ran along the floor, Destiny stared at it. "Watch." she whispered. The flame stopped by April's foot and then suddenly the flames were circling her.
"Should I kill her?" Destiny asked Maxwell. "You can witness your first death through the eyes of a vampire."
His eyes struggled to focus, and he backed up from them both, fire taking on a new form in his eyes, a more fearful visage. He slipped past the door while they fought.

"Oh scary" April said sarcastically, half mocking Destiny's own words. "I'm really scared..." The rose on her arm burned from black to red, and in her head she heard a voice
"Stop, you need energy to fight later, not now." Angrily, she ignored the message.
The power was building up in a huge mass inside Destiny and she saw April inside the ring of flame. She looked to the ceiling and set it alight. She looked at Maxwell.
"Well?" She shouted over the roar of flames "What should I do?" A mortal from the saloon ran in and Destiny snapped his neck in one motion "What should I do?" She screamed.

April stood her ground, not caring if she died. A gothic vampire appeared near the ring.
"What the hell? Now what did you get yourself into?"
Maxwell's eyes widened, his new mind lapping up such carnage hungrily
"Yes!" He cried, pleasurably "Do it!"

Destiny laughed manically. She looked at the gothic vampire with curiosity. "Who the hell are you?" She screamed.
"Just a friend" She smirks "If you don't mind, could you let her go? If not, there will be..." The gothic vampire counted on her darkly polished fingers "About 50 vampires here, ready to kill you..."
Destiny laughed again. She looked at the window. "I doubt that." she said smiling knowingly.
The gothic vampire, known as Alice, spoke.
"What don't believe me?" She also had the same tattoo as April, but the serpent was different. Destiny turned to the small window which allowed light into the small storage room.
"Because the sun's coming up."

She turned to Maxwell and gave him a scrap of paper. "Go here," she said. "It's almost dawn so I have to leave, go to that place and you will be safe." She kissed him again and smiled. "I'll find you." She disappeared in a second, leaving April in the fire and her new vampire child alone.

←- Night Draws In | Walking Into Hell -→

DateNameComment 
1 Jul 200445 Saby
V. good, love the characters, keep on writing and fill all those notebooks. 2

1 Ashley Jane Brodie replies: "Thankies! It's still a work in (very long) progress! Ah my notebooks... One day all will be filled with fabulous stories. Until then... They remain all empty. Shame."
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About 'The 'Black Horse' Saloon':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Ashley Jane Brodie
 • Copyright: ©Ashley Jane Brodie. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Destiny, Vampire, Vampires, Saloon, Maxwell, Tattoo, Roses, Magic, Horror, Gothic, Goth, Passion, Blood
 • Categories: Fights, Duels, Battles, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Romance, Emotion, Love, Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 318


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