"What About Ana unfinished scene A" by Angela Knoblock

“How could you bring her here?”  Deshret sounded appalled.

“Her brother hit her again.”

“Things like that happen all the time.  Are you going to bring every human who has been beaten to your realm?”

Rose peeked into the chamber, spying on their conversation.

“Maybe I should, Deshret, just to annoy you.”

“Why won’t you think of this seriously?”

“I don’t think of anything seriously.  Why won’t you let it go?  It’s not like you.”

“Because we shouldn’t interfere with their lives; no good will come of it.”

“What about Ana?” Zja’ret narrowed his eyes at his brother.

Deshret glared.  “Exactly; because of that I ended up… like this, and she turned into a cold-blooded killer.”

“She was a feral of the Gray Mountain Clan; she was already a killer, even if she was young.  All you did was take away the enjoyment she felt from killing.”

Deshret wanted to deny it, but he knew he couldn’t.

“I don’t have time for this, brother, I’m sure you can show yourself out.”  With that, Zja’ret left, walking right by Rose at the door but not seeing her.  Rose watched him go, then looked back at Deshret, who sighed and sat down facing away from her.  She knew she should be afraid of him, but somehow she felt she knew him.  She felt that, sometime in the distant past, he had been kind to her.  Quietly, more out of respect than caution, she approached him and sat down.  Deshret turned slightly to look at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Who’s Ana?” she asked innocently.

Deshret turned to look at her fully.  “What?”

“I heard you and Zja’ret arguing, he mentioned her.”

He looked embarrassed.  “Why don’t you ask him?”

“I would, but I don’t think he’d tell me; he’d say that it’s your business so I should ask you.”  Rose smiled wickedly.  “Was she your lover or something?”

“No… You are rather forward for someone who has been abused.”

“I know Zja’ret wouldn’t let you hurt me.”

“I am Deshret, hurting people is what I am, my brother can’t stop me.”

“Zja’ret said, even though you’re Death, you have no power in his realm.”

“Yes, but you won’t stay here forever.”

“You’re very good at changing the subject.”

Deshret’s eyes narrowed and he nearly growled.  Rose smiled triumphantly.

Deshret looked away and was silent for some moments.  Rose saw the sad look on his face.  “I was just curious; if you don’t want to tell me just say so.”  She waited another moment and when he didn’t say anything she got up to leave.

“It’s all right,” he said.  “I’ll tell you if you really want to know.”

Rose sat back down.

“I’m sure you have learned about the wars between Iiyana and the Gray Mountain Clan.”

Rose nodded; every Kasian learned about them in school.  The barbaric clan still had a poor and often violent relationship with Iiyana and, well, just about everyone else.

“I went to the Gray Mountains after a battle to collect those who died of their injuries after being carried home.  I saw Ana in a make-shift hospital tent.  She was only thirteen years old, old enough for a Gray to go to war.  She had a deep wound in her chest that scraped her heart.  All those around her thought she wouldn’t live through the night, but I knew she would.  She was strong, this wound would not kill her, but she would be crippled for the rest of her life.  The Grays are very harsh people, and it is their custom for a cripple to leave the clan so as to not be a burden upon their family.  She would live weak and alone in the mountains for decades before she died.  Her life up to that point had already been a struggle, she didn’t deserve this.  It was unfair…”  Deshret paused and looked like he was confessing something he didn’t want to confess.  “I don’t know why I cared.  I was born without compassion; it would do me no good as Death.  But I did it anyway.  I took my own heart and put it in her chest and kept her ruined heart as my own.”  He paused again and seemed to sink.  “It did no good really.  She is still alive and in perfect health, but her family was killed in battle shortly after and she never returned to her clan.  And human emotions have not helped me either.”

“…That explains a lot about you.”

Deshret didn’t answer.

“You still regret it?”

“Quite often I do.”

“But it’s been decades.”

Deshret nodded.

“Why?  You said it did no good but was it really bad?  You tried to spare her a miserable life, even if you couldn’t you still tried.  And so you can feel sad now, you can feel happy now too.”

“I stole those feelings from her.  She feels nothing, like I did before I met her.”

Rose frowned.  “Sometimes I think feeling nothing isn’t so bad.”

“It’s not really, if you don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Her family was killed; if she doesn’t feel anything then in a way you spared her from that experience.”

“Your own parents are dead; what would you think of yourself if you couldn’t miss them?”

Rose thought about it and frowned.  “I guess I would question whether or not I really loved them.”

Deshret nodded.