| 13 Nov 2003 |  Jamie Herrington Gorton |  Loading...In the first chapter I was worried about a lack of plot, but that resolved itself as I read on. My biggest thing is the lack of characterization, especially in Devyn, who, after all, is introduced first. He just seems to be mindless to the point where that is his character. Just my two cents, I hope you'll post more soon.  Alicia D. Stowell replies: "Thank you so much for being my first comment ^_^ I plan to go through and flesh out the story and fix the beginning which annoys me T_T but that will happen in December most likely. Thanks again for stopping by! Hopefully Devyn will have a personality by next month *promises to try harder*" | |
