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Amber Silver

"Twilight Falling" by Amber Silver

SciFi/Fantasy text 9 out of 10 by Amber Silver.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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I hope you all enjoy the character Thyon. I tried my best. I would appreciate feedback on the effectiveness of the metaphors in the story, thanks!

Posted: March 13th, 2003.
Updated: September 23rd, 2003

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←- The Wizard and the Raven* | The Warrior and the Old Man -→
         Thyon approached the young girl cautiously from the shadows of the woods.  From the quiet chirping of birds settling down to rest, to the rambunctious twittering of squirrels, the forest was alive with the chatter of animals.  In the distance, a lone wolf howled.
         He walked towards the girl who was sprawled beneath the sheltering bows of a pine tree.  He could smell blood and he saw it splattered across her gray, homespun dress.  Her face was terribly pale, and Thyon's heart ached for her.
         ‘What a pity.' He thought, ‘That one so young should succumb to the woes of the forest.'  Having lived here all of his life, Thyon knew that the forest was rich with magic and home to many different forms of life from the great griffons of the north, to the noble centaurs of the west.  However, along with the many wondrous creatures of the forest, the magic which resided deep within the ancient trees also beckoned creatures of a dangerous nature.  The shadows of the forest were sometimes home to monsters whose souls were black, and whose hearts delighted in killing.  When Thyon decided to leave the safety of his home and family to travel the woods, his grandfather had profusely warned him of these dangerous creatures.  It was a warning he did not take lightly.
          The forest was filled with mystery and that mystery was terribly alluring to humans.  Indeed, Thyon understood the allure of the forest all too well.  Quickly he glanced to the now-violet sky and then returned his gaze to the child.  He knew that she had not yet expired, but if he did not aid her before night fell, then he would not be able to protect her from the creatures, ordinary or magical, that roamed the forest.
         His mind made up, Thyon walked towards the girl-child carefully, making his way over knotted tree roots and around pikes of granite slanting from the turf. He knew precious little magic, and now he cursed himself for taking to hiding as a child whenever his grandmother called him to his lessons.  What little magic he did know, he would use to get the girl conscious enough to ride to safer territory.
         Thyon stopped in front of the child and studied her face.  No older then nine or ten years of age, she was a cherub with a halo of golden curls that must have glowed in the sun.  She had a tiny face, with long, thick eyelashes and lips that were parted slightly.  She was beautiful, and Thyon's heart pounded in his chest in a sudden fear that he was too late.
         Thyon knelt beside the tiny body and studied her face intently.  Then, to his amazement, the young girl's eyes flew open and blue orbs of terror fixed upon his own.  Suddenly, a great commotion erupted from the woods.  Fear clutched his hammering heart as he struggled to his feet and turned to behold a group of the dangerous monsters his grandfather had warned him about.  There were four of them in all and they were tall, covered in armor made of animal hides and each had a terrible face covered in long, knotted, dirty fur.
         Thyon bristled in preparation for battle; all of his muscles became taunt as he stepped between the child and these creatures.  He was certain now how she had come to be injured; clearly they were
tracking her.  Yet Thyon's bravery would be for naught; the creatures pulled strange weapons from their backs and he was enveloped in pain as multiple wounds were suddenly inflicted on his body.  Thyon screamed in anger and pain, before he collapsed to the soft earth floor of the forest and died.
 
         Edward waited until his friends had slung their bows over their shoulders before he went to his daughter.  The young girl, trembling with fear, leapt to her feet and ran to his embrace.  He picked her up in his arms and stroked her hair comfortingly.  She buried her nose into his neck, nuzzling his beard, just as she always did.  Hanna hated the hunt.
         The three other men came from the woods and circled the bleeding corpse.  Thomas spit upon the body, and John kicked it.  The last man, Peter, looked to Edward for approval before he drew his
blade and severed the long, silver horn from the head of the unicorn.
         "Do we have to do this, daddy?"  Pleaded Hanna quietly from her father's shoulder.
         "You know we do, kitten."  Was his reply, as it always was.
         "For how much longer?"
         "Until they are all gone."
         "Why?"
         "Because they are dangerous, Hanna.  Unicorns are malicious and cruel; that beast would have killed you, you know."
         "I know."
         "Then don't ask questions, kitten.  It must be done."
         Edward was already walking back into the forest as Peter picked up the horn and tied it tightly to his belt; this was the longest horn they had found in their three months of hunting.  There would be a celebration tonight.  Quickly the three men followed their leader from the clearing, and left the body of the unicorn to rot in the darkness.
 
←- The Wizard and the Raven* | The Warrior and the Old Man -→

DateNameComment 
6 Nov 2003:-) 'Princess' Laura Hewett
aww. so good. (of course, but I have to say it anyway) The twist came as quite a surprise. This was a superb story. I agree that this is not far from reality at all, it's truely profound and beautiful. Wonderful! Yay! Im glad that it was effective! With this piece I was aiming for being metaphorical... I hoped it worked!
2 Dec 2003:-) Dtauri
This is an awesome piece - a nice twist! (a minor note - should "taunt" be "taut"?) Thanks for writing such great stuff 1LOL Thanks for the comment! Ill check out that whole taunt/tant thing. 10
3 Dec 200345 Jay W.B. Hildybrant
Well, well, Helplessness enshrouded in vicious, wicked, malign darkness. Tears of sadness from such malignant happenings parade down my cheeks. The killing of a Unicorn is a highly spiteful and fell thing. I hate them so much. The little one must surly feel the wrongness in such an action. The story is well done and I think you have provoked the feeling that you set out to capture. It seems to represent to me the ignorant and uneducated people out there who neglect the beauty of life, the earth and all the magic that encompasses it, and have total disregard for love and kindness, all in exchange for mundane currencies. The land of Faery will have it's revenge. One does not slay a Unicorn without terrible repercussions. I seem to recognize the name Edward; from other stories perhaps? I'll have to go check. So many kind comments! Thanks, Jay. You are absolutely correct; I wished nothing more than to portray the humans as igranot and prejudice. Im pleased to see that it was effective. Thank-you again!
8 Dec 200345 Deb
Oh, Amber..... What an incredible story. I almost cried when I got to the end. I didn't see it coming... You are a most gifted writer, and it is a pleasure to read your work!
And thank you for making it "printer friendly"! I have a love of the printed word, and far prefer paper and ink to the computer screen!

Back to this story... Your imagery is impeccable. I can see, smell, and feel the forest as I read your work. Keep it up, Lady Amber. Your gifts awesome! Oh, wow! Thank-you, Deb! I appreciate your words so much... just.. thank-you!
21 Dec 200345 Fish Sushi
Your writing is so subtle, yet meaningful! You expose the greed and selfishness of humans, but also their lack of understanding of other races and their ignorance. I love it.
It's so amazing, everything you have written. I especially like your short stories and peoms.
I like how who reply to all your comments too, I have a lot more respect for people who do that. Wow! I am so floored that you enjoyed my stories so much. It means a lot to me; thank-you very much for leaving all of your positive comments. And for the record, I love responding to all of the comments left on my page. I love feedback and I really enjoy improving myself from the constructive critisim left by my readers.
21 Dec 200345 Maisha 'Elenwyn' Foster-O'Neal
OMG!!! i realised pretty quickly that she was bait, but i didn't realize that the 'creatures' were humans and thyon was a unicorn until Edward's name was used. it reminds me strongly of the 'into the land of the unicorns' series by bruce coville. he uses the same concept: unicorns hunted by being baited with injured gurls. well written, i already had a mental image of thyon but that was stabbed and then betten to death when i found out he was a unicorn. lol, and i got quite a shock with 'and he died'. i was like 'holy cr- WHAT?' lol. it was like o.0 ... great stuff. keep writing, as always!
Peace out,
~*Elenwyn*~
P.S.- you are now a member of my favourites list... yay! Wow, thank-you! I am honored to be among your favorites. I am really pleased that the story had a twisty ending for you; I was a little worried that it was terribly obvious. 2 Thanks for your comment!!!!
28 Dec 2003:-) Ricky N. Barnett Jr.
...Well that sucks. No, Not your writing, but the ending of the story.

How we tend to hate things that we don't understand so we try to get rid of them. The tribe in the forrest, how they kill the unicorn. It also seams like they are killing it for sport and just making an excuse to the little girl. The cut off the horn, the biggest one so far....

Great story. I love the way you write. This is a lot different than most stories I have read about unicorns. How they are pure beings and everyone beleives it a terrible sin to kill one. But it takes a lot more imagination to come up with original stuff. And it is a lot more fun to.

Great work on this! keep on writing. My goodness, thank-you. I try to strive for originality. Thanks for saying I suceeded!
25 Feb 2004:-) Guillermo 'Gwydionn' García
Wow.. I never expected that ending. Great story! Glad ya liked it! Thanks for the comment.
7 Dec 2004:-) B. Layne Weaver
Wow, that was an unexpected twist! Very sad... especially the fact that the little girl was in on it. But, of course, she has been taught nothing but that these creatures are dangerous and must be destroyed. Poor, poor misled little brat. 12

It's amazing how good of stories you can tell in such few words! Your stories are shorter than many I have seen in Elfwood, but the tales they tell are more powerful.

Great job!

2 Amber Silver replies: "Wow, thank-you Brandi. I really appreciate your warm words. "
25 Nov 2005:-) Marijke Mahieu
Wow...That was definitely unexpected. Poor unicorn 8 I'm at a loss for words really...Ah, so much misunderstanding in the world...--MM
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'Twilight Falling':
 • Created by: :-) Amber Silver
 • Copyright: ©Amber Silver. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Battle, Fight, Forest, Magic
 • Categories: Fights, Duels, Battles, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins
 • Views: 455

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The Wizard and the Raven*
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