Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 152390 members, 1 online now.
  - 11379 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Antony M. B. Sadler  (Drig)

"´Tis time to dance (A poem)" by Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig)

SciFi/Fantasy text 8 out of 8 by Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig).      ←Previous - Next→
 
Tag As Favorite
 
This is a poem that was inspired by a picture of a mermaid within an Autumn leaf found in the Elfwood gallery of Breanne Bloomquist entitiled Water Fall
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment
←- The Restaurant Critic | Dragon's Seventh Chapters 10 - 11 -→

 

'Tis time to dance

'Tis time to dance the wind whirlpools

Over the land in a stuttering prance.

It yanks the leaves up into the fray.

From the weathered branches, now haggard, and gray.

The youngest growth, the first stolen away;

The trees ever more naked, beneath the autumnal day.

'Tis time to dance the hills echo back.

Snatching leaves from the air, then handing them back,

...snatch... leaves from the air; ...handing them back.

...leaves from the air; ...hand them back.

The tree roots bore; ever deeper; clinging dearly to ride,

The fairies, Autumnal to Winter; seasonal slide.

'Tis time to dance the brooks chuckle along

Snagging up a leaf, and passing it on.

Lending spray to the wind in exchange for a leaf

Spitting, and gurgling, and surging mischief.

The banks are torn, to follow along;

Removing footsteps of fairies in tune with their song.

And all the time the fairies hold sway

Over earth, wind, and water; Keeping fire at bay.

"'Tis time to dance!" the lead fairy out shouts.

And points out the unbalance that needs to be out.

Allowing earth swallowed by water; or earth to eat rain.

The air catalyst of turmoil switches sides, and again.

"'Tis time to dance!" The following fairies agree.

Pulling, and tugging along with limitless glee.

Pushing, prodding, and poking; "What comes will be free!"

Dashed to the rocks; Broken left screed,

"Dance if you dare, the fairies decree!"

"'Tis time to dance, if you yearn to be free."

But 'ware little sapling, barely 'yon green;

If your thoughts are too shallow, 'tis the last you'll be seen.

And whether you'll dance on, to the fairy retreat,

Or whether they'll leave you, beneath o'er six feet.

I can not but tell you; For when I heard their song;

I bravely clung on; and I most cowardly, won.

←- The Restaurant Critic | Dragon's Seventh Chapters 10 - 11 -→

DateNameComment 
18 Jul 2004:-) Meike de Nooy
I meant ragged (sorry 'bout that one)

:-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "np 2 - Actually took me to re-read previous comment more slowly to find the gagging - I must have an auto rose-tinted eyeball(s) installed.Yes being away from it a week I can see coming back to it a few rough spots - please auto delete the word 'along' from ... along with limitless glee this improves that spot.The other is after the three echoing lines of the hills. The next line about tree roots boring ever deeper needs a change in rythem so I will re look at that - I had already tried to mod it a little from how it ran perfectly prior to the forced echoing lines being added.It also helps if it is broken into 6 six line verses - I meesed up my HTML coding and lost the verse breaks. I will obviously have to tweak this one a bit. "
18 Jul 2004:-) Meike de Nooy
There's a few parts where I get stuck in the rhytm, but I really like this.. makes you feel the bounce gagged movement of the winds in autumn. Lovely, and nice ending too!

:-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "Drig thanks you bowing and dramatically sweeping his neon blue knight guild cloak around you in pure joy. (Author's note all replies are in neon blue in deference to Drig's cloak).I am glad you liked the ending too.I checked out your gallery and feel like a kid in a candy store - They are beautiful and brim full of ideas and emotions. It will take me a while to grapple with the emotions but will comment on them shortly."
23 May 2005:-) Marijke Mahieu
Oh how very bouncy! The repeated "It's time to dance" really makes this poem very rhytmical...the cadans of the poem really does invite to dance. But I'm not sure I got the ending. Is the person avoiding to dance and therefor "won" over the fairy? Sorry if I missed something very obvious, but I'm quite tired tonight *yawns*...Must come back when more awake 2

Lovely poem though. You should find someone to put it to music...Would make a nice bard's ballad!

:-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "Glad you love this poem - As to the ending well my fairies keep nature in balance thus the Autumnal rollercoaster kills many trees, plants, animals, changes where streams flow - and the missing humans? Or do they get to live with the fairies - alas by cowardly winning though able to share the dance is unable to share the fate of those that were not as well rooted in life - I guess I was in a happy sad mood at the time - You could draw some parallels to your Monica / Nightshade in VA that might point what I was trying to get accross too -"
14 Jul 2005:-) Ashley R. Wynn
Garp! It rhymes. But at least it's supposed to be a song. All in all, though, it made good mind pictures. I stumbled a little trying to read it out loud, but then, it was the first time I'd read it through. 14

:-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "Hopes Garp is a praising word *hides while hoping*Glad you like it - there are a couple of spots that I need to fix - I need to fix them with my next ticket. I've said that a few times *sigh*Thank you so much for your visiting"
21 Jul 200545 D Joelle Duran
I enjoyed this! Sure, its a trifle rough in spots, but the rhyme is contagious, the imagery is delightful, and the repetition is quite effective. I'll admit the ending baffled me a little bit too, but I could clearly visualize the rest. Ah, autumn is wonderful!

:-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "I am so glad you like this. I have to admit I generally am more impressed by my poems - I guess it helps being allowed to throw grammar out the window.Yes I am an autumn person - the beauty and death balance so well with my slightly morbid tastes I guess.Often my poems have a dark undertone - thus if your unsure thinking along those lines often provides better clarity."
9 Nov 2005:-) Breanne C. Bloomquist
Hello there 2 I happened to stumble upon your little library here, and first I must point out that I am quite impressed with your work 2 You have a very beautiful and wonderfully descriptive style in your writing. And next let me say how how honored I am that my little doodle inspired you to write this. I think it is quite definitely the best compliment I have recieved for my work. Thank you 2

:-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "Thank you - I am glad that you like my writing. Your picture was delightful and I am pleased both with the poem that it inspired, and your comment. Now I know html coding a bit better I will add a link when I next update. Your picture got a well deserved mods choice if I remember correctly so it was def. far more than just a doodle. It was a good piece of art and I thank you for the drawing, it awoke my muse."
4 Feb 200645 L. Shanra Kuepers
*hiss* The formatting! The formatting! Call this 'proper', eh? *bristles* 'Tis pet peeve. Very, very large pet peeve. It's not readable. It's not even effective. Format poems the way they're supposed to look, without blank lines between those belonging to the same verse. Typography is bloody important, and too important to let it be ruined because people can't be bothered to do five minutes of extra work. *hisses*

As it stands, the only thing it really has going for itself is the rhythm, since that's not so dependent on typography as the rest. I've looked through the latest comments and saw you already lost the stanzas. But they're not the biggest problem. It'll read well enough without the stanzas, but you need to get rid of the paragraph breaks. They break up the rhyme, do influence in the rhythm for the worse, and generally just make a mess out of what is otherwise a very fun and catchy read. It has really good imagery. It has a very catchy singy flow, though the rhyming is still a bit forced in places. Could be caused by the formatting. I'm not sure whether that's it. Also have a place or two where the rhyming is missing, though that could be my pronunciation. And there's a few lines where you have internal rhyming that, oddly, don't seem to benefit the piece.

But that could be formatting as well. Big, big pet peeve. Especially when the poem I'm reading is good. Bad formatting just loses so much... *laments, looks up with puppy dog eyes* Pretty please will you fix it and format it properly and make it readable and gorgeous as it deserves to be?

60 Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "Wow - I am sorry - I guess I am too lax on the requirements of the poem - I'm like Ah the formatting is messed up but the reader will work it out. *grins as I watch Shanra's hackles rise*Sorry to have offended and with a spattering of almost nice comments I guess I have to fix it just for you ;POfc I could put in the formatting and then you rip it appart too -
Oh to format or not to format what a dilema!"
14 May 2006:-) Dan Shevock
heh, after reading the last comment... well, I enjoyed reading the poem. In fact, it made me want to go out and join an environmental group, like Green Peace, or something. It seems like this came from your convictions, and therefore I find it to be a good poem.

:-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig) replies: "Ah over a week - I like to reply within a few days but have been far too busy.
Wow well I'm glad it evoked such a strong reaction.
Thank you for commenting and again I'm sorry for taking too long to reply."
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



''Tis time to dance (A poem)':
 • Created by: :-) Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig)
 • Copyright: ©Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig). All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Autumn, Balance, Death, Elements, Fairy
 • Categories: Faery, Fay, Faeries, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic, Celtic
 • Views: 604

Bookmark and Share



More by 'Antony M. B. Sadler (Drig)':
Dragon's Seventh Chapters 07 - 09
Dragon's Seventh Chapters 04 - 06
Dragon's Seventh Chapters 10 - 11
The Twisted Key
The Restaurant Critic

Related Tutorials:
  • 'Villains: *Bad* Bad Guys and *Good* Bad Guys' by :-)A.R. George
  • 'The Deception of Description'
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories. The site was founded by Thomas Abrahamsson and is maintained by helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood AB corporation.

    [More...]