"The Island by Amellie Part 1" by Amellie Forbes

The Boat:

I saw Chrissy and pushed my way through the less than half full patio restaurant to her table where she sat looking out to the sea. "There you are early bird," I said, and pulled out the chair and sat opposite her at the small table.

She looked up and smiled wanly at me. "Hey girl!" She said. "Where y `bin?"

I looked at her doubtfully. "The boat remember? I`ve been to book the boat. We`re goin` sailin` today remember?" It was then I saw the look. At that moment I knew something was wrong. Here we go I thought. I knew her so well. Chrissy`s light brown face looked guiltily at me and she pushed her cigarettes and lighter toward me and said, "I`ve got somethin` to tell you, Chloe."

I felt my heart sink, because I knew it would be about him. Him being Brett. Chrissy`s longtime on and off squeeze. I didn`t like Brett much. Chrissy knew but she didn`t care. We`d seldom liked each others men, but it had never mattered much to either of us. We`d  been best friends since we were kids and had shared an apartment for what seemed like forever. We both knew that men would never effect out friendship.

I reached for the cigarettes and pulled out one and quickly lit it inhaling deeply, and then sighed, "Okay. What now? It`s about Brett isn`t it?"

I saw her relax. She grabbed a cigarette nodded, then gushed, "He wants us to get back together. He wants me back."

It was the worst possible news for me. It was the worst possible news for her to because Brett was a dumb idiot. But somehow he made her happy and had done on and off for sometime now. The news didn`t please me in the slightest, but my friend was opposite me and was almost bursting with joy.

I forced myself to smile and say, "Hey girl, that`s good. I`m happy for you." I went the extra mile and even squeezed her hand.

Her frown returned. "But there`s a downside."

I felt like I had`nt really heard an upside yet and against my better judgement reluctantly asked, "What`s that?"

" I want to go home. As soon as. I want to see him Chlo`. I`m missin` my man girl."

I knew what she meant by that. Three weeks without was a famine for my Chrissy. "What d`you mean go home? We`ve been here three days, we`ve got another eleven left. Admittedly there`s not much goin` on `roun here, but we`ve got sun, we`ve got sand, and we`ve got the best occean ever. You`re kiddin` me, right?"

She pouted her lips, "I`m sorry girlfriend, but while you were gettin` that boat thing set up, I called the airport. The earliest flight is in two days. I got mine booked and I reserved one for you. I guess its up to you if..."

"****! I don`t believe this. Why are you doin` this? Why can`t you wait? He`ll keep. **** girl, you know how much I hate flyin`. I`ve just frickin` calmed down from gettin` here and now you want me to get on another steel coffin for another frickin` seven hours....."

"I`m sorry Chlo`. I gotta` do it."

I dragged hard on my cigarette. "Well I`m not! I`m not goin` with you. I love you girl, and I`d do anythin` for you. But this...., this is **** girl. He can wait. You can wait. I`m not wastin` my holiday an` all that cash for this ****. No way."

She didn`t look shocked or surprised. We were use to our fights and hissy fits after all this time. She looked kind of deflated and sad, but said, "I understand." I started to say something, but she said, "I really do girl, it`s okay." She got up and left me at the table.

A couple hours passed. No sign of Chrissy. She didn`t come back to the table, I could see it from the bar stool where I sat sat slowly drinking soft drinks. It was too early for alcohol, and I`m not a great drinker anyway. So I sat and smoked. Cigarettes are my vice. We`ve all got to have one, right? I glanced at my watch. It was sailing time. I needed to do some thinking and Chrissy obviously wasn`t about to appear for a fun packed afternoon with the best friend she was about to jilt for her jerk boyfriend.

I know what your thinking. Is she really going to go sailing on her own? Relax. I`m quite a good sailor. My parents had money. Well Dad really. Now Mum as well, `cos she got half of  Dads. Having had two kids they decided that they didn`t love each other anymore. Conversely, they felt they hated each other. So they called it a day and went their seperate ways, but not before I`d become the competant sailor I am today.

With hindsight a good or competant sailor may well have thought twice and said no to taking out a boat that although otherwise seaworthy was being leased by two young men who didn`t really look like seafarers. In truth they looked more like they were filling in for someone who was absent doing other things, namely the owner. Which is what they were, but I didn`t know that at the time. So I paid my deposit, got a brief run down on the do`s and don`t`s of the "Sea Shanty."  With a backward glance to check Chrissy wasn`t about to appear just in time I started to head out of the bay with what sounded like a pefectly contented motor to the untrained ear of a twenty five year old woman who worked as an assistant to an important guy who made all the decisions.

Adrift:

With sailing I always found that after half an hour or so the novelty and initial exhilaration wears off, and then if you`re not in great spirits you can start to feel a bit flat again. That happened to me and I started to think about my fight with Chrissy. I wished she was with me. We`d be having fun right about now if it wasn`t for that jerk Brett. I did make up my mind on the trip out though that I definitely wasn`t going back with my friend. I was going to stay and enjoy the rest of my holiday. No need to rush back on board an aeroplane I decided.

I finished a cigarette and took another swig from my bottle of water. I`d brought five litres with me, more than enough for the voyage today when I heard the familiar static crackle of a boats radio. I locked the rudder on the general heading I`d been steering and picked up the handset of the radio. All I could hear were indistinguishable noises with what sounded like the fragments of a male voice thrown in as an afterthought. I was never going to be able to make any sense of that so I pressed the transmit button and tried to communicate with whoever was trying to reach me.

This was when things started to go wrong for me. The power light on the radio faded, then it seemed to get a second wind, brightened, faded again, then died altogether. It left the amber glow of the battery low warning light glowing all on its own. The light I`d caught sight of and not thought anything more of when I`d been shown around the boat.

"You idiots!!" I shouted. One of the first rules of sailing is never to leave land without backups for everything. Never let anyone go to sea in anything you wouldn`t happily sail in yourself. I didn`t need to look, but I did anyway for any spare batteries for the radio. There were none of course. I cursed the boys again. I breathed deeply and told myself there was no need to panic. I had no means of communication, but the weather was good, I had a good compass and knew what course I was heading. And I had what in my rather inexperienced opinion was a good motor to carry me.

Good. So there was no need to panic. Being "A good Sailor," I knew that without a radio what I needed to do was abort my trip. That was what I would do. I went back to the rudder and checked the compass. I had been heading on a course of 270 degrees exactly. Westward in other words. So all I had to do was do a 180 degree turn to 90 degrees and I`d be heading eastwards. Back exactly the way I`d come. Easy. I unlocked the rudder and began to turn. The compass was pointing to 260 degrees when the motor began to falter. My heart froze. Or leapt. I`m not sure which. But I began to feel hot and sick by the time it finally stopped. Trying not to panic I looked over the side of the boat at the inboard. It was fouled up on a net. A fishing net. A quick assessment told me I couldn`t reach it from inside the boat. Another quick appraisal told me I didn`t have the courage to slip on one of the life jackets I knew the boat carried, I did check for those, and get in the sea and try to free the screw. I knew there were sharks in these waters. Duh! It was the Pacific I was floating on. After checking that all power to the motor was off I did my best to lean over the side of the boat and try and pull at the net. I knew straight away that it was useless. It was stuck fast. No way I could get it off in a million years.

I swallowed back my growing fear. My situation had changed dramatically now. My minor crisis had escalated very quickly into a potentially life threatening one. My trip inside five minutes had become all about survival. A battle for my life. I remember my Father telling me many times that this was the way of the sea. I looked out at the calm beautiful occean. Its greeny blue surface was flat and calm. It scarcely lapped against the hull of my boat. It looked so wonderfully still and gentle, yet my life now hung in the balance. I shook my head and thought how bizarre it all was.

But now wasn`t the time for just thinking, I had to take practical steps for survival. If not not survival, I needed to take steps to prolong my life as long as possible to give myself as much chance of being found and rescued as possible. I glanced at my wrist watch. I`d been sailing my original course for two and a half hours. Not good. That was anywhere between fifteen and twenty nautical miles from land. On the positive side though I knew I had held a good steady course westward. There had been no drifting, not much anyway, no dog legging. I had held a good steady uncomplicated course. But I had begun to turn the boat altering its course and had inevitably drifted since the motor had stopped. Not good, but not too bad. It hadn`t been much. I looked up at the sail and the boom it was held by. It was now all I had. It could be my salvation with a good helpful wind. Not right now though. There was no wind. And when there was one I needed it to be be a favourable one, eastward please, to blow me back the way I`d come.

I thought of the bay I`d sailed from. The people who were running it. The island we were staying on. I thought of the facilities and I thought of the emergency services there. I felt despair creep up on me as I realised the very things that had attracted Chrissy and me to the Island, its remoteness, its lack of commercialism, in a way its primitiveness, could work against me now. There was no real organisation and I had my doubts about their capabilities in the event of an emergency because I was pretty darn sure there was no coastguard. That garbled message I had on my radio before it died I felt sure was there best attempt at contacting me for the immediate future. Sure they might send out a few boats to try and find me, but those boys had never even asked me what direction I may be headed. It would be like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. And the pacific is a pretty big haystack. Me and my little boat were a pretty small needle.

 What to do? Well the first thing was easy. I had to make sure at all costs I never became separated from the boat. So I secured the lifesaver tether, a nautical umbilical chord if you will to the side of the boat, and then donned my life preserver. Next step, gather all supplies and secure them. Well I didn`t have many of those, just a days worth of water and snacks, which I quickly and carefully stored in the safest and coolest part of the boat. God, did I wish I`d brought more now! I next did a quick inventory of the rest of the boat. Why hadn`t I been more thorough earlier? Because I was on holiday and holidays are a time to relax and stop stressing about mundane things. Not that there`s much mundane about lifesaving equipment when you think about it. Especially with hindsight on your side! I did find seven flares! Sevens a lucky number right? Perhaps things were looking up again! Thing is they`re only useful when it`s dark. I only had seven. One every hour. One nights worth. ****!

I could do no more now but wait and hope. I turned to my main source of comfort now, my cigarettes. I`d just opened a new pack before I set sail, so if I rationed them I could make them last a few days at least. Stupid girl, I thought. You could die out here and you`re worrying about cigarettes! On reflection I guess I could have used a few more sailing lessons!

So with nothing else to do but ponder my situation, I pondered it. As the afternoon wore on I retrieved the flares from where they were stowed in one of the cupboards and began the wait for nightfall when I could begin to fire them off. I was desperately hoping they would work and given the state of seaworthiness of this boat so far, I really had my doubts as to whether they would. As darkness began to fall the boat continued to drift. I kept a close eye on the compass and noted that the drift was a steady one. Westward again. The only good thing was that it was in one direction only. The bad thing though was that it was further out to sea all the time. Further from landfall. I had never been at sea at night, and definitely never on my own. Then to compound my worries on the horizon I began to make out the beginnings of a sea mist. And of course I was drifting towards and then into it. If it became really thick it meant the flares would be next to useless. I really began to think then that I wasn`t meant to be found. I was going to be lost at sea forever. I guess there`s nothing like the loss of daylight to really spook someone who`s alone. Especially at sea. I glanced at my watch. It was 9.00 pm. Poor Chrissy would be very worried for me by now. I wondered if she`d be contacting my parents and sister soon with the news. My parents would come from their different corners of the country. My Mom, maybe accompanied by Sara my sister. I felt choked at all the worry I`d be causing them right now.

I`d drifted right into the fog now, and though it was still warm I felt a chill from the dampness it was creating. I felt alone and miserable. I shut my eyes and thought I should at least try to grab some sleep while I could and maybe somehow forget my situation for the time being. Sleep would be a blessing if it came.

The Island:

Day One.

Against the odds I guess I did manage to sleep. When I awoke my watch told me it was 4.30 am. Not a bad effort really. My eyes told me it was still very misty and the compass told me I was still somehow heading west. My brain told me if I kept on in this direction I would in a number of months or so arrive off the coast of Japan or the like. Not all that comforting was the fact that I would have been dead a good while by then.

How I would have loved a hot drink. But I had to make do with water, a couple bites from one of my now rationed snacks and finally a cigarette. How I wish I had more of them all. For the next few hours I quietly brooded, staying still and resting as much as I could. I let my thoughts drift back to when I was small and I tried to think only of the good times. I guess looking back I`d had a few. Though I was still young I felt I`d had a good life overall, better than many for sure. I just wasn`t ready for this. I wasn`t ready to say goodbye yet. I really wanted to live through this somehow, anyhow, whatever it took.

It was well past 10am when the mist lifted or thinned, or whatever mist or fog does when it`s disappearing. And all I could see was distance. I could see where the sky met the sea or vice versa. Certainly there was no sign of Japan. More importantly there was no wind yet, let alone one that was going my way, and that...., that was the only thing that was going to save my life. Or so I thought...,

Slowly appearing as at first a speck, then agonisingly slowly getting bigger on the horizon was what I desperately hoped and prayed was a land mass of some sort. It had to be. What else could it be? A whale? If it was why didn`t it disappear under the water. No! No, it must be land, it simply had to be. If it wasn`t I was finished. I think if it had turned out to be something else now, it might well have killed me. I don`t think I could`ve recovered from that kind of setback after all my recent ones. Five minutes later I knew it was land. And best of all I was heading straight for it. I never had to steer or alter the course of the boat once. Of course it never occured to me right then maybe that was a little odd. I guess I was just so happy and relieved to believe again for the first time in a while that I might actually live through this ordeal.

Twenty minutes later it was clear to me the land mass was indeed an island. It was heavily vegetated in land beyond the barren golden sands of the shoreline with rugged large rocks and boulders spread the length of its shore. In an optimum spot lay a large flat rock that had been left isolated by the constant erosion of the sea over thousands of years. It looked like the perfect suntrap for anyone inclined to spend their days worshiping the sun and the amazing view it must have offered. When the boat came within a hundred metres of the sands its momentum began to build on the small breakers that were hitting the beach. They were small but it seemed to me they had an unusually significant effect on the speed of which the boat approched the shore. In fact it hit the beach fast enough to lift the boat clear of any waves that would follow later which I could tell by the line of seaweed and flotsam that had been deposited clear of the high tide mark. So the boat had beached and for the first time in nearly twenty four hours I could set foot on sweet, safe, and comforting land again. All I had to do now was find some sign of human life and then I could begin breaking to the world the great news that I was, after an amazingly scary and traumatic adventure still alive and well. The only thing was this island didn`t have the appearance of being that well populated yet. Oh well, small steps as they say. That small doubt aside my enthusiasm for the place couldn`t be dampened just yet. It was time to step ashore and check the place out.

I gathered my belongings from the boat stepped off and began to walk up the sand to...., well I didn`t know where. I just stood and tried to work out where I should go. I walked past the rocks and boulders to where the line of trees and bushes began and tried to figure out what best to do next. I decided the best thing to do was circumnavigate the island by staying close to the shoreline until I happened on a clearing or track of some sort that was sure to appear eventually. Cleverly I decided to leave a track of rocks and stones behind me so I wouldn`t become lost. Pretty neat huh?

Well I walked and walked. I stopped and took water once in a while, then I walked some more. The day wore on, and my high spirits began to wane slightly. The more I walked the less likely it seemed to become that I was going to find a pathway to the civilisation I hoped existed here.

I didn`t find a pathway. There were several clearings of sorts but none of them led anywhere. The sun was low in the sky and I felt very tired as I looked along the beach and caught sight of my boat again for the first time in six or so hours. I`d been right around the island and found no sign whatsoever of human life. I shook my head in disbelief. Had I landed on the only remaining island in the world without people on? Is it possible that in the twenty first century there are places still left not inhabited with humans? I stood by the boat and looked around. Then I began to cry.

That`s not something I do often. But it does help from time to time and this cry had been coming for some time now. As the sun began to set and darkness approached I looked out to sea and saw the descending mist beginning to enshroud the island. So again just like last night it would render the flares useless. Somewhere in the back of my mind I began to wonder if I was meant to be found. Maybe my luck would change eventually, but right now nothing was going my way. But the fighting part of my psyche comforted me with the very true logic that I had been lucky. If this island hadn`t appeared when it did where would I be now? Without it I had no doubts that I may well have been still adrift and dead within a matter of days. Stumbling upon it the way I did, now that I thought about it more clearly, had been a huge piece of luck and good fortune. Not only was it a respite from the sea and the massive potential dangers that it held, but it meant I was still in with a fighting chance of survival. Okay it hadn`t brought about the instant end to my ordeal that I`d hoped and to be honest at one point more or less assumed, but it gave me hope.

I glanced along the darkening shoreline and then climbed back into the boat and prepared myself for another uncomfortable night and said a small prayer of thanks for the minor miracle of the island.

Day 2.

I didn`t have a good night on the boat. I guess I slept on and off but only for a twenty minutes or so at a time. I couldn`t wait for dawn and I couldn`t wait for daylight and the sun. The darkness and the mist played nasty tricks with my mind during the night. I`m not scared of the dark by any means, but being so alone it really affected my spirits. Things always look better in the daylight they say. I sure hoped so.

When the sun came up I smoked a cigarette, then frowned over my dwindling water and food supply. Today would be a good day to be found and rescued. Otherwise I had to get streetwise on this island and find what I needed to survive. A big day then. My most urgent need was going to be a source of clean drinking water. Without that, well easy one. I was finished. Secondly though not quite as importantly I needed to find a supply of food that wasn`t going to make me throw up for days on end. Luckily I don`t have a huge appetite. At 5ft 5" tall, I weighed in at 120 lbs, with a not too bad figure that I didn`t have to work too hard at maintaining. I guess maybe the cigarettes prevented me snacking more, but sooner or later I would run out of them as well. Hell of a way to quit smoking eh?

So where to begin? What I did first was what I`d seen many times in the movies. You gotta` get a fire going right? I did that and there was plenty of smoke from the dead foliage that I threw on it. How long it would last I wasn`t sure not being an expert fire starter. But just doing it made me feel better. Being proactive is what they call it I think. The next thing I`d picked up from one of those survival programmes on TV. I found some plastic material on the boat, one piece was from an old bag, another I assumed was part of an old tarpaulin, then I dug holes in the sand and placed the bits of plastic over the holes and weighted them down with small rocks. The idea was that the warmth of the sun would form droplets of moisture on the underside of the plastic, and there was your drinking water, all be it a very small amount. That done all I could do was start to explore the island more closely. By more closely I meant I had to find what I needed to survive, or die here.

I retrieved my small backpack from the boat, my remaining water, compass and a frankly dirty knife I found in a locker and set off on my quest for survival. For an hour or so I wandered stopping and checking out small fruits and berries that I found growing on some of the vegetation close to the shoreline. But in all truth I was at a total loss as to what was safe to eat and what wasn`t. I guess I never really thought I`d ever be in this kind of situation where I`d have to make these kind of decisions. Who does? I wasn`t hungry enough just yet to take the plunge and risk everything by sampling what nature had to offer here, so I left them well alone for the time being. It dawned on me as I stood ankle deep in the sea a bit later that my best chance for food was fish. There seemed to be plenty of them close to the shore, and I supposed that being in shallow water was a safe place for them to be, it being not deep enough for larger predators. All I needed to do was come up with a means of catching them, and right then I was short of ideas as to how I`d do that. Firstly  though water was my priority, so I turned and left the fish to themselves and resolved to do what I`d been putting off, namely heading into the overgrown parts of the island. I figured that I didn`t have to fear getting lost too much, because whatever way I went, I`d eventually end up back on the beach. I knew from yesterday the island wasn`t that big. I`d circumnavigated it in a matter of hours, so in theory even I couldn`t get hopelessly lost on such a small place.

It was quite a relief to get out of the sun into the shade as it turned out, and I felt my sweaty vest begin to cool as I made my way deeper into the vegetation. The noises from the resident wildlife dropped away as they took in what was no doubt the unwelcome presence of an intruder into their world. For me also it was a little bit unsettling, another reminder as if I needed one that I didn`t belong here. In a way I felt like a shopper in one of Mother Natures superstores. All around me there were goodies on offer. I just didn`t know what was a good buy here and what wasn`t. Choose something a bit dodgy here and you might not get the chance to come back for a refund! As I took in what was around me I could see that there was ample material here to make decent shelter from the sun, and dare I say it, for the experienced outdoors person even the possibility of making a quite sturdy stormproof abode. The trouble was I wasn`t that person, I`d have enough problems putting up a basic tent. But if I was going to make a half decent attempt at surviving here in the short term, presuming of course that I wasn`t found in the meantime, then I had to learn and learn fast.

As I walked further inland I gradually began to climb a little and the trees around me began to differ, they were taller and thicker, more mature. Some were staggeringly high and I knew for a fact I hadn`t seen trees like this before. I do know a few, but I didn`t know these, and they made me think not for the first time about the nature of this island. Had this place ever been inhabited by man? It looked totally unspoilt and it bore none of the scars typically left by the activities of man.  My mouth had fallen open in awe and wonderment. It really was an awesome sight.

When I reached the top of the incline and the ground levelled out again I stopped for a drink of water. All through the day I`d been fighting the beginnings of a headache. I knew it was dehydration, so just as it would begin to take hold I`d stop and allow myself a mouthful of water. It was a constant reminder of how badly I needed to find a fresh supply soon. I glanced at my watch, it was 2.30pm. I shook my head. What did time mean here? It was two days ago now that I`d set off in the boat. People would be worried out of their minds for me by now. I felt a pang of desperation for them. And for me. I put my water back in my rucksack and walked on. You`re still in this fight I told myself.

The forest had returned to life by now. The creatures all kept a safe distance from me, but I`d gained a grudging acceptance in the time I`d been here. I was having to push my way through thicker overgrown bracken and bushes, but I could feel I was heading downwards slowly now. The ground then fell away very abruptly and I struggled briefly to stop myself tumbling away with it by grabbing a low lying limb of a small tree. I steadied myself and then looked ahead and downward. A long way downward. The beach stretched out in front of me, it`s golden sands looking absolutely perfect in the heat of the midafternoon. I`d been another couple of paces from walking straight out into a 90ft drop. I closed my eyes and shivered. I mouthed a silent thankyou, gripped the tree even tighter as a sob escaped me. As I slowly composed myself I looked down onto the beach and wondered what had caught my eye a moment or two ago. It took me a while to recall what it was. It was a seabird. I`d watched a seabird fly toward the cliff face and then seemingly disappear into it. It hadn`t though obviously. But it had gone somewhere. I strained my eyes as they scanned the face of the rock. It must be an alcove or a cave of some sort I thought. But why didn`t I see it yesterday on my walk around the island? How had I missed it? Had I missed it? I had followed a rough path, or what was more probably an animal track off of the beach for a short time, so that must have been what took me a way from this part of the beach. If it was a cave then I reasoned that I needed to get to it and check it out somehow. Who knew what it held? At the very least it offered me the chance of some shelter and what did I have to lose? I had to get down there first, and that was going to be tricky from where I was. If I could get back to that track that would hopefully be a safer route down to it.

It took me another half hour to find the track. This time though I didn`t follow it. I broke off and headed for the sand, and after another ten minutes the beach I`d seen from above came into sight. It looked a lot smaller from down here for some reason, some kind of optical illusion I guessed. The sand didn`t stretch to the sea for as long as it had seemed, in fact it was an altogether more cozy, sheltered alcove than I thought. I looked up to where I`d been stood earlier. That did`nt seem so high either. Weird. I walked closer to the rock of the cliff carefully clambering over the large chunks that had fallen away from the cliff over time but there didn`t seem to be any newer ones that had fallen recently which was a comfort to me. Behind one of them I found the entrance to the cave. I didn`t hesitate before walking towards it and entering.

I stepped a few paces inside and waited for my eyes to adjust from the sunlight outside. Slowly the inside of the cave began to take form and shape. It was cooler obviously, but not cool enough to bring a shiver or goose bumps, just a nice ambient temperature. There were large pebbles or small rocks whatever you prefer, littered around the sandy floor. The sand was bone dry, the sea clearly hadn`t made it this far for a long time.  It wasn`t as big as I first thought it might be, again I`d made that judgement from further away. It was just a relatively small space, but it was an ideal shelter perhaps. I wasn`t sure I`d like to spend a night in here though. It would be pitch black and I worried I might find that a bit too claustrophobic. Off to my right there was a pool of water, not deep, but it was probably about 15ft or so in diameter. I stepped closer to it and could make out the rock bottom through the crystal clear water. Looking up I could see it was constantly being replenished by water dripping from long pointy rocks hanging from the roof of the cave, stalactites or something. I`m sure you`ve figured I`ve not got the sharpest mind in the world by now. And yes, I am a blonde. It`s a dirty blonde though.

So anyhow, the pointy rocks were resupplying the pool with fresh water all the time. I assumed the excess water ran away somewhere else or evaporated, thus preventing the pool overflowing. The big question for me now obviously was whether the water was safe to drink? I needed water badly. I was down to my last litre or so by now, and I`d been constantly thirsty for the last twenty four hours or more. At some point I was going to have to take the plunge and drink water from some source or other on the island. I still hesitated though. I tried to think through the origins of this find in the cave. The water leaked from the roof of the cave and must be moisture from the undergrowth of the forest above, or, and this seemed logical as well, it was condensation from the warm air outside hitting the cooler rock inside the cave. It presumably made its way down the rocks of the cave to the tips of the pointy rocks hanging from the roof of the cave. But what possible contaminants could it have picked up on its way? That was the big question for me. I reasoned that the water laying still in the pool might not be too safe to drink. But what of the fresh water that was constantly dripping into it? Surely that must be okay for me to try? What could lurk in those rocks that could possibly harm me? I had no idea. Maybe on its way down through the roof and the pointy rocks it picked up something harmful from within them, some kind of mineral or other poison. How could I possibly know or find out? I couldn`t. I had no way of finding out other than sampling it.

Nervously I reached up to one the largest of the pointy rocks and let a few drops run down my fingers. Hesitantly I brought them to my mouth and sucked the water from my fingers. I repeated this process a couple of times and rubbed the water across my gums. It tasted just like any other water. In other words it tasted of nothing. I so desperately wanted to collect more of the precious, possibly life saving liquid and drink gallons of the stuff, but I had to be cautious here. I needed to give it time to enter my system to see if it had any detrimental effect upon me. In the meantime though all I could do was hope it was okay and find away to collect it as it fell from the rocks. Maybe build myself up a ready supply. I propped my water bottle under one of them and watched for a while as the drips slowly collected in the bottom. It would take a while for there to be anything substantial to quench my thirst, so I tried to think of others means to collect the water faster. I got up and walked around the cave to see if I could find anything remotely useful there to help with this task. Of course I never really expected to find anything and I didn`t. So I stepped outside again onto the beach.

The sun was by now low in the sky, it had dipped quickly while I`d been in the cave. I knew instantly that I wouldn`t be able to get back to the boat tonight before it was completely dark. Whether I liked it or not, it looked like I would be spending tonight in the cave. There was nothing I could do to change that now so I turned my attention back to collecting more water. I looked around the beach. Nothing. Then I looked up at the trees and vegetation growing above me. Some of the plants and trees had big, wide leaves growing on them. They could posssibly serve as a means of gathering the water. But I was still short of a way of storing it. I thought straight away of half a coconut shell, but that was one of the trees I hadn`t seen here. I`d need something else. In the meantime I took the shortest route to the trees and set about pulling off the leaves I thought would be most useful to me. After collecting enough for what I needed I racked my brains for a way to hold the water. The best I could come up with was to lay the leaves out on suitable rocks that were in the cave and underneath the pointy rocks. I arranged the leaves so that they formed shallow but relatively effective little bowls. I made sure I used the same kind of leaf for the water just in case the leaf contained something harmful that it might secrete into the water. That way I would know my problem had been caused by either the water being bad, or that particular type of leaf. Neat huh?

I looked around the cave and regarded my efforts. I had eight of the leaves situated collecting the dripping water plus my bottle. It wasn`t wasted on me right then how crucial it was that this process worked out for me. It simply had to. Crucial or not, after not very long the constant dripping of the water hitting the leaves really started to get on my nerves. So I got up and stepped outside the cave again. It was still very warm, but by now it was very dark. The stars had appeared in the heavens above and I can honestly say that I have never seen a more glorious night sky in my life. There were simply thousands of shiny, bright stars littering the deep black sky. Awesome! As I gazed upwards it occured to me that tonight there was no sea mist gathering. Tonight would`ve been my first chance to fire off some of the flares if I`d only thought to bring them with me. Instead they were still stowed away on the boat well out of my reach for tonight. For some reason as I admired the beauty of the universe it didn`t seem to bother me as much as it might have.

With my thirst very much a constant companion now I lay back on the warm sand and continued to gaze skyward. After a time it seemed to me that the stars were fading somewhat, and it had it become harder to discern certain ones I`d picked out. It became clear why a while later as I looked over my shoulder and saw a big white full moon creeping up slowly behind me. I don`t think I`d ever been anywhere more beautiful than here.

After an hour or so I went back into the cave. The moon lent an eerie glow to the inside, but it didn`t make me feel frightened. I felt a small confidence within me, one that had been absent since I`d discovered that I was well and truly alone on the island. I checked on the progress of my water supply. It wasn`t much that had gathered so far, but I began to think that if it did prove safe for me to drink that there might just be the potential for me to get by on a small amount for the time being while I stockpiled a greater supply. The encouraging thing was that it seemed the supply would be a constant one, because if anything as the night had taken hold the dripping on the leaves seemed to have gathered pace somewhat. And surely that had to be good thing for me.

So I lay down inside the cave and tried to put the irritating dripping out of my head. Eventually I drifted off to sleep. I didn`t dream, but what I thought was daylight awoke me and I looked around the cave to find the glow from earlier had become a good deal brighter. The moon had traveled in the night sky to glow through the entrance of my resting place and now bathed the interior in its light. I sat up and became aware straight away of my thirst again. I really badly needed a drink, and it occurred to me that I hadn`t taken a pee since one unelegant and undignified effort over the port side of the boat. Not good.

I couldn`t ignore my thirst any longer. I`d tried a sample of the caves water earlier and I`d not felt any ill effects from it. So surely it would be okay to take another small amount of it? I walked to where I`d positioned my bottle earlier. There was about half a litre of water in there by now. I put the bottle to my lips, and I really only meant to take a mouthful, but as soon as it hit the back of my throat that was it. I greedily threw my head back and drained the bottle.

Well that`s it! I thought. Make or break. I`d guess I`d know by the morning. I looked around the rest of my supply and all the leaves were showing significantly more amounts of water than they had earlier. No doubt about it nightfall had definitely speeded up the process. It was an encouraging sign. Tomorrow I could collect more leaves and maybe increase output even more. Perhaps things really were beginning to look up again. No longer feeling sleepy I looked over at the pool as it glistened enticingly in the moonlight. Why not? I thought. I slipped my vest over my head and unhooked my bra. Then I peeled my shorts and panties from my legs. I stepped slowly into the water and felt my feet touch the smooth rock at the bottom of the pool. The water was warm and comforting, particles of sand drifted up to the surface freed from my feet and shins. I lowered the top half of my body slowly into the warmth. I sat back against the side and let my legs stretch out as I faced the moons glow in the mouth of the cave.

"Oooh, bliss!" I sighed.

I felt the tension in me slip from my body. It just felt heavenly to relax so completely and feel so utterly comfortable. I was hundreds of miles from my home, and it was anyone`s guess how far I was from another human being, but I really didn`t think I`d ever felt this good . I felt a pang of guilt that I should feel this content when somewhere there were people going out of their minds with worry and maybe grief for me. But it was fleeting and it soon passed, and I was back to how I felt. How very, very good I felt.

Day 3.

I think I dozed on and off in the pool, but I didn`t totally lose myself, probably because I didn`t want to drown. But eventually as the sun began to rise I dragged myself reluctantly out of the pool. I was thirsty again by then, and I was incredibly relieved to find I`d suffered no ill effect from drinking the water last night. So I was confident that I could now assume it was safe to drink the water gathered in my bottle. I drank most of it but managed to save some this time. As far as the water in the leaves went, I`d try that carefully a bit at a time like I had yesterday with the bottle. No point taking risks now I had at least some water. Finding the water had been a huge boost to my confidence and state of mind and it was with re-newed spirits that I began to think next about how to tackle the food situation. But for now I left the cave and walked out onto the beach in all my naked glory and paying no heed to the sand that stuck to my still wet skin, lay back on the beach basking in the early morning sunshine. Dare I say it but for the first time I was beginning to notice and appreciate just how perfect this island was.

Well I fell asleep for what must have been a couple of hours and awoke with a dry sand covered body but feeling very alert and refreshed. It was time to set about finding some food. Please let this go well for me, I thought to myself. I went back to the cave to rummage through what I could make use of in my rucksack. There really wasn`t much that was going to be much help to me, but as I emptied it I noticed the webbing lining the inside of it and the thought occurred to me that if I could remove that intact I might be able to fashion some kind of fishing net out of it. I struggled with it for a while and when I finally released it from the rest of the sack I was rather pleased with its size and I thought that it could indeed come in useful as a means of catching something. I`d noticed my cigarettes as I empied the sack, and I counted eleven still left. For the first time in nearly ten years, in fact since I`d become a regular cigarette smoker, I didn`t feel the strong urge to smoke one. I lit one of the long all white cigarettes anyway purely out of habit rather than need. But again for the first time in a very long time it didn`t taste as good as they usually did to me. I have to be honest with you, I never made any apologies for my ten to fifteen a day habit. I truly loved smoking. I never thought about quitting either, and I`d often thought if it had come down to a choice between motherhood and quitting smoking I`d rather have remained childless! See what I mean? I really did love my cigarettes. Anyway this one wasn`t one of my better ones and unusually it left rather a nasty taste in my mouth. But of course I smoked it anyway. The next one would probably hit the spot more. What was I going to do when I ran out!? I briefly wondered if I`d be lucky enough to find any tobacco plants on the island.

So I left the cave and my growing supply of water and set off down to the sea in search of a suitably gullible and foolish fish or two that were complacent enough to let me catch them. As with yesterday, after a while I began to see fish basking in the shallows. The first thing that struck me about them, rather unhelpfully actually, was how attractive they were. Their colours were fantastic, and they looked to be a very healthy size as well. Whatever they fed themselves upon must have been in great abundance around the island These fish were undoubtedly in great shape. They were also quite smart and hard to catch! An hour later, considerably hotter, and shorter tempered, I still had `nt caught one. At one point I`d abandoned the net method, ie I`d thrown it away in a fit of temper, and resorted to diving into the water and trying to catch them with my bare hands. So I was at a loss as to how to catch them, short of waiting a million years for evolution to allow me to grow the the body parts I needed to catch one of the slippery s.o.b`s! I waded back ashore crestfallen and sat on the sand to think this through. The only thing that came to mind was a pointy stick, a javelin type thing, or now that I think about it, a spear of some sort. So I set about finding said stick, and when I did locate something I thought might be up to the job, all I had to do was just sharpen the end to more of a point. Having done that with the crappy old knife from the boat, I waded back out feeling a lot less confident with this method than I had with the net!

I couldn`t believe it when it worked! It went like this. I had my eye on one fish in particular. I don`t know if it was an older one or not, but it seemed to be less alert than some of the others. It had drifted close to me on several occasions, so I stood deadly still and waited for it to do so again. It did, and just a little bit closer this time. My spear pierced its body just behind its neck. It struggled and contorted horribly for a while, but I kept it pinned to the seabed until it finally gave up its fight for life. How did I feel? I felt awful. I trudged back to shore with it impailed on my stick feeling like the worlds biggest bitch. It was a pretty and colourful fish. What kind or species it was I had no idea. Was it edible even? Again I didn`t know. But it was dead, and I`d killed it. Horribly as well. I sat on the beach looking at it for sometime. The gaping wound I`d made in its back served to make me feel even more guilt. Finally I shook my head. I couldn`t allow this to happen to me. This was a fish. I was a person. I needed to eat to survive, the same as the fish had needed to. This time I was the one higher up the food chain. Bad luck for the fish. Natures cruel I told myself, and I silently scolded God for making the world the way it was. It was his fault..., he made me do it.

So I had a dead fish and no idea about what to do with it next. I knew I had to get most of the bones out before I cooked it, but again I had no idea about how to go about that. Trial and error it was going to be from now on it seemed. So with the old knife I set about what for me was a gruesome task. Fifteen minutes later the fish was a sand covered mess. I didn`t fare much better, but I had removed most of the bones. There was still some flesh left, not anywhere near as much as there was waste, but I would have to get over that, and I would have to get better at this part of my new life. Finally I made a makeshift spit, and after finding some kindling I used my cigarette lighter and made a half decent fire to cook my prey on. I sat there all the while watching it slowly cook and then start to blacken. Well it was now or never. Time to try it. Reluctanly I put a small piece in my mouth and chewed it. It was kind of a harsh taste, but it was edible. The process of cooking it had shrunk it quite dramatically, so in truth there was barely five or six mouthfuls. It was nourishment though. All being well it wouldn`t give me food poisoning. It wasn`t much, but it was a start. I told myself the next one would be better and the next one after that. If I could catch another that is.

So I got up and headed back to the water to try again. That was how I passed the morning and the early part of the afternoon. The spear didn`t work for me again this time. None of the fish were as compliant as the one I killed earlier. Maybe it had been old or ill even? Who knows? Maybe if I could catch a younger one it might taste better. I went back to the net method, but this time I changed my tactics. Instead of trying to scoop them into the net I used it as a kind of trap. I`d get as close as I could to one of them holding the net behind them, then I`d make a quick jab at them with my spear. My hope was they`d flee in the opposite way, ie, straight into my waiting net. They were too clever for that though. All bar one. I made another kill that day. This time I had a live fish on my hands when I waded out of the water. After deciding I couldn`t let it die gasping out of water I hit it several times with a rock to kill it. Not very nice. Even the spear was better than that. I had slightly more success boning and cooking this one and unless I imagined it, this one did taste a little better. Or maybe they were an aquired taste?

I went back to the cave after that and this time drank more water from the leaves. So far so good with that. My supply was beginning to look more healthy each time I checked now which was pleasing to say the least. Later in the afternoon I went back to do more fishing only to find the fish were not there. I thought maybe they had gone out to deeper waters to feed, surely a lameass fisherwoman like me hadn`t scared them away. Well they were gone for now at least, so I headed back to the beach to hunt through some of the rock pools to see what I could find there. I walked along the beach naked as the day I was born looking for food, and I have to admit it felt good. It was all very liberating. I could be myself and I could make my own rules. I had nobody to answer to, and I could do what I liked.

Eventually I came back to the boat. The remains of the fire I started the day before had long since burnt out. I scattered the charred remains of it and kicked sand over it, then I peered in the boat. I climbed aboard and aimlessly searched it from stem to stern for anything I might find remotely useful. I came across the flares. I wondered about the full moon. Would it be clear again tonight? I should take them with me back to the cave just in case it is I thought.

"So the cave has become my temporary home has it?" I asked myself. "I guess so," I answered in reply. I looked at the flares again. Then I shut the cupboard and walked back out and jumped off the boat. "No point taking those if the moon`s as bright as last night," I said to myself. Then I skipped over to the nearest rock pool and began looking under stones again as I made my way back to my temporary home.

I did find some goodies along the way, namely a couple of crabs that had been lurking behind some rocks in a pool. I wasn`t sure just how I was going to tackle eating them, but they did look like they might make a tasty snack. Back at the cave as the sun was setting I once again put my makeshift spit to use. Firstly I killed the crabs with my knife, then I carefully removed their shells. The first one I cooked gently over the flames, even so it did shrink some. Tasty as it was, I startled myself when I started to eat the second one uncooked. I should have been appalled, but it just tasted too good. Raw was the way to go with these things. Briefly I reflected on the killing I`d spent my day on. I would never have imagined myself capable of it a few days ago. But I was in a different world now, this was life and death for me now, and I was finding it easier and easier to put myself first. I hadn`t thought twice about killing the crabs. I`d done it without flinching, completely different from my remorse for the fish. Feeling I`d really accomplished quite a lot in one day I entered the cave and carefully picked up one of the leaves that was by now holding quite a substantial amount of water. I lifted it to my lips and gently tilted one end of the leaf, the water filled my mouth and I swallowed careful not to spill a precious drop of water. I emptied the leaf and I knew if I suffered no ill effects after this that I could begin with some optimism to come to rely on my method of sourcing my water.

I have to be honest and say that though I`d had a good day, my thirst and hunger were not completely satiated. I did need to have another good day tomorrow. In fact I needed an even better day. It was crucial that I did collect more water and catch more food. I had to become much more efficient and capable of catching fish, I needed to become a much better hunter. As I lay back in the sand outside the cave and looked at the emerging stars it struck me how by making these plans for tomorrow and the coming days, I`d quietly, and almost a little too readily accepted that I wasn`t going to be found in the immediate future. There were worries that had been nagging away at the back of my mind. For instance the apparent total lack of evidence of human life here, now, or ever as far as I could tell. It had also occurred to  me that I hadn`t once even seen the vapour trail of an aircraft flying high overhead. These things should have been troubling me a great deal more than it seemed they were. Since I`d found the cave a state of calm had seemed to have come over me. I didn`t feel so scared anymore. I felt more assurred, I had a little more confidence in my ability to survive here. And deeper still in my head was the feeling that I wasn`t ready to be found yet. That sounds crazy I know. I want to be found. Hey, I know I can`t stay here forever! But, I felt at peace for now. I realised my present contentment  was at the expense of my loved ones, but I really wasn`t sure there was anywhere else I wanted to be more than here at the moment.

I stayed outside another hour or so wondering about my state of mind and sanity. Then I went back into the cave as the moon, much earlier than the previous night, made it`s presence known within. I slowly slipped into the pool of water again and relaxed as I watched the moons ponderous path across the mouth of the cave. All the comforts and distractions of modern life couldn`t compete with the natural spectacle I witnessed here these last two nights. I smiled and slipped under the water in my happiness. Again I felt no hurry to leave the pool. I savoured the weightlessness I felt in it. The feelings of total bliss. The ideal end to a trying day, and hopefully the rejuvenation I needed to get me through the approaching one. A few hours later I woke from my slumber in the pool and climbed out. The moon had passed the mouth of the cave by now so it was a little darker. I made my way in the dim light to where the leaves were again making quicker work of gathering water again tonight. Feeling completely fine after my earlier drink I repeated the process of drinking all the water the leaf had gathered and feeling much better for it I placed the leaf and its rocks back in place so it could begin its water collection all over again. I was still feeling sleepy so I found a nice soft patch of sand and settled down for some more sleep. Once again the sand clung to the still wet and even intimate parts of my body. Again it didn`t bother me. My new found hardiness surprised even me.