"The Island by Amellie Part 6" by Amellie Forbes

I sat with my knees under my chin gazing out at the darkened occean. The reflected light from its surface told me what I wouldn`t turn around to confirm. The moon was climbing higher in the sky. All around this part of the world astronomers and the just plain curious would be gazing skywards to witness the spectacle of the eclipse. It would be a brief moment of conversation for them the next day, probably not the day after. Their lives would move on and   they`d again be preoccupied by the mundane. Nobody could ever guess and would ever know the significance of this eclipse for me. The moon would be covered by the earths shadow, but the world would keep turning and life would carry on as normal. For me, whatever I decided, nothing would ever be quite the same again after tonight. The tiniest of drops can form the largest of ripples, and that was what happened to me the day I set foot on that small boat. One small unremarkable step and my life changed forever. I don`t believe in fate as such, and I don`t believe that what has happened to me was my destiny or for any significant reason. I do think that everything that happens is random. We`re all small particles bouncing around in life and sometimes collisions happen. Nobody knows when they`ll happen or why they do, or even what will happen afterwards. Like everybody else my journey in life has been a series of random events. But the next part of it will be decided by me. And who knows what kind of random collisions will happen after I make that choice?

I spent long moments studying the surface of the moon. I had no clue when the eclipse would begin. Each time I looked away momentarily, I looked back again with my heart in my mouth expecting to see the smallest of shadows appearing on its seemingly porcelain like surface. I waited, and I waited. The moon was already a lot higher, and I began to wish that I wouldn`t have to wait much longer.

I wasn`t sure that it had started at first. My stomach lurched and tightened. I waited another few minutes until there could be no doubt. One quarter of the moon was covered with shadow when I made my decision. I sat for another long moment and pondered the reasons for my choice. They were good, strong reasons. I decided that I could spend another month deliberating, and it would still get me nowhere. It didn`t matter now anyway. My time was up again. 

I stood on shaky legs and breathed deeply of the occean. With one final glance at the moon I turned and walked to the cave. I entered the cave and briefly took in the gathering gloom as the eclipse progressed. I didn`t pause or hesitate any longer as I stepped from the side of the pool into its warm waters. I sat down with my back against its side. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I wanted to block out my thoughts, stop any doubts or misgivings from creeping into my mind. I waited...., and I waited. Finally I opened my eyes as the glow from the moon once again began to slowly fill the cave.

"Mom...., Daddy...., Chrissy...., forgive me...., forgive me."

My legs tightened and spasmed. My thighs, knees and ankles pushed together harder and harder until they became conjoined. I closed my eyes momentarily breathing deeply. I felt a sense of relief now. An inner peace. I`d made my choice. It was done and at last the worrying and soul searching would be behind me.

The orange peel effect seized my thighs, shins and calves as they cramped and pulled the muscles of my legs twisting and distorting them, as they slowly faded away for eternity. They became unrecognisable as I groaned and panted caught up in the sensual and deeply erotic sensations coarsing my changing body. Scales began to burst forth from tight flesh, their spectacular colours enhanced by the brightening glow of the moon. My bones were melting from my legs, making way for the fantastic flexibility of my tail as my lower half lengthened and pushed its way seemingly unendingly along the bottom of the pool as it gained width and weight all the time. My hip fins burst forth again, joyous in their freedom from their captivity within me. They floated lazily at my sides as my feet lengthened away from my joined ankles before finally going their seperate ways and flattening, growing ever larger as they slowly and thrillingly began to take on the form of my flukes. Everything was happening simultaneously and I groaned louder and louder. I couldn`t help it. As the changes continued I moved from one blissfull high to another as the incredible feelings of ecstacy peaked and I revelled in the joy of reaching my destiny. My gills formed slowly and began to function. My body took advantage of its increased air supply straight away and further fueled my supercharged emotions. I sobbed and groaned, pleading with the urges and feelings I was experiencing never to stop. To carry on and take me to ever more greater heights of pleasure. I watched my flukes grow and grow, the bigger they became, the more powerful they seemed to become. The more powerful they became the more excited I grew. I was caught in a fantastically enjoyable emotional and change driven vicious circle. And I was loving every minute of it, hoping and praying it wouldn`t stop. But all good things must come to an end. My change was all but done, and I lay breathless watching the final alterations to me spasm and twitch their way to a gentle, pleasant conclusion.

The changes finally done with me, I lay and tried to gather my thoughts and emotions. A warm and blissfull feeling of well being and happiness coursed through me, total peace of mind and acceptance of who I now was settled comfortably and contentedly in my mind. In my heart I felt a strength and surge of new life run through me. From my heart, to my brain. From my brain, through my breasts and nipples all the way down to my womanhood and through my huge tail, all the way down to my wonderfully impressive flukes. I sat dazed as I realised that I`d just been bestowed the gift of everlasting life. Immortality was mine. It had been offered to me, and I`d taken it.

Half a hundred voices filled my mind. Welcoming me, greeting me...., some just giggling and cheering. My sisters saluting me at my moment of arrival in their world of occeans. I knew then I`d made the right choice. My happiness was dulled only by the knowledge that my sisters numbers had become so few. Only a pitiful fifty or so had bid me welcome. Could that be all that remained of them in the modern world? I finally began to understand just how desperate they were and why. No wonder Madchenchja couldn`t believe her luck when I unwittingly sailed into her world. No wonder she`d acted the way she did. Who could blame her? She was just trying to help save her people. Perhaps my sacrifice, hard as it was for me to bear, was only a small one after all in the grand scheme of things.

Finally as the clamour and enthusiasm of the distant voices in my mind died away, I heard the soft, gentle tones of the voice I`d longed to hear. "Chloe...., Chloe...., welcome..., welcome my sister...., I cannot tell you how happy I am...., how happy you have made me....," She giggled. "How relieved I am that you`ve made your choice...., the right choice...., for I know it is Chloe. You`ll never regret the path you`ve chosen tonight Chloe...., and I`ve got until the end of time to show you that now...". She laughed joyously and said. "Chloe come to the occean...., come now for I am close to you...., join me and we shall feast together tonight. We shall celebrate the coming of a new mermaid, the coming of a new mermaid mother. Join me Chloe...., join me now.

I smiled broadly, my flukes slapped the sides of the pool in excitement as I eagerly lifted my new form from the pool and breathless with excitement I began to pull myself and my heavy fish half across the floor of the cave. Before I left I paused. I looked at the sand covered floor and the message I`d written in the sand some three weeks or so ago now. "I am Chloe," read my defiant handwritten statement. Below it I wrote "The Mermaid." I smiled as I remembered how frightened I`d been when I`d written it. I`d come a long way in a short time. I began to drag myself out of the cave. For all the world now I felt like I`d been pulling myself across sand covered beaches all my life. Tonight everything seemed so much easier to me. It was as if all the pieces of the jigsaw had fallen into place at once. I felt like a natural, and before I knew it I was plunging in to the surf and then thrusting myself from the waves up above the water, before diving gracefully into the depths of the occean to greet the returned Madchenchja. I sensed her presence long before I saw her. Finally we embraced each other! A tight embrace that said welcome. Then long lingering kissses that said, "I`ve missed you my sister and lover."

When we were all loved out we set about finding food. We ate until we were well and truly full. We frolicked above and below the surface of the moonlit occean. We petted and kissed until exhaustion got the better of us. Finally we pulled ourselves up the sandy beach into the welcoming waters of our pool before slipping below the surface. Tails and bodies entwined we slept until the late hours of the morning.

Eternity...., The First Day:

Day 29.

The first day of eternity for me was spent the way countless thousands and millions would be. I fed, I rested, fed some more, rested again and generally let myself wallow in the deep joy of my life. My wonderful life. Free of the constraints, pressures and boredom of the overcrowded, overworked, harsh and uncaring world of people. That such a gift should be bestowed upon me, that I took so long to accept its offer was something that would take a good number of years for me to truly understand. That I nearly let it slip away from me at times made me question my own sanity. Yes I knew it meant the old Chloe was still a part of me. The slow witted, dizzy and gaff prone blonde was a trait I couldn`t lose even as I slipped from my old life into my new one.

I sat with Madchenchja on our sunning rock as we idly brushed our long hair. For all our attributes of gentleness and caretakers of our occean world, at heart we are vain creatures, spending as much time on our appearances and hygiene as the average human spends working each day. We simply do like to look our best at all times, which given the chances of us being seen by anyone who`d take the slightest bit of notice of such things is odd when you think about it. But such are our ways.

Madchenchja began to play gently with my hair, before asking, "Was it an easy decision for you in the end Chloe? To stay? To partake of the pool when you did, knowing what would become of you?"

I thought for a long moment before answering. "Yes and no. I wanted the choice to be taken from me, for someone else to decide my destiny. I wanted to stay. From the moment I returned to the island I knew in my heart I could never leave it again. After meeting you it became even more unlikely that I would ever leave. Partly because of the way we connected with each other, but also because of everything staying had to offer me. Not the eternal life. Appealing as that was I still would have stayed even if I only lived the span of a human lifetime. But it`s everything this life has to offer. The occean, the island, freedom, and one day I hope motherhood. Now I know how endangered our people have become I want to do my bit to put that right. I was part of a world that unknowingly persecuted our kind. I say unknowingly, but I`m not sure things would be a whole lot different if they knew of us. But I know I want to make ammends for some of the harm I did when I lived in that world. That`s enormously important to me now. If having many mermaid children is how I can begin to make ammends, well then that`s what I want to do."

She smiled and said, "Well we`ll see about that when you are in the throes of your first labor! Childbirth isn`t any easier for mermaids than it is for humans females I`m afraid. But as you well know now, all additions would be very welcome."

I nodded. "That`s what I mean. When I lived my old life I really didn`t go much on the idea of parenthood. I think I may never have had a child. But now..., now I`ve changed. Becoming a mother now seems a much more noble and worthwhile thing. When you think about it fifty or so mermaids against nearly seven billion humans is a little disproportionate."

She smiled sadly, "It is a very frightening thought. I find it hard to think of little else some days. Tell me more though of how you came to make your choice."

I smiled as I recalled the days I spent agonising over my decision. "The days after you left I took your final words to me to heart. I made the most of those days. I enjoyed them, I revelled in my freedom. But in reality my decision had long been made. I loved my new life too much to ever go back to the old one. All I feared was the possibility that I may at the final moment lack the courage to go through with it all. The moment I saw the shadow begin to creep across the moon, although I was very frightened and nervous, I knew then I had the courage. I knew I had the strength of mind to see it through. The hardest part of course was finally letting go of the people I loved and left behind. But somehow, I don`t know...., a part of me thought that if I saw this through, in a way I`d be ensuring that through me...., that a part of them would live on,  live forever through me I guess. I hoped that maybe they would see it the same way as well, that this all would have been what they may have wanted for me. I hope that I can reach them Madchenchja...., I hope I can reach them well enough to let them know I`m okay, that I`m healthy and happy. That`s what I dearly want."

She took my hand and gently stroked it. "The power of the mind is truly an amazing thing Chloe. I`m sure with practise you`ll be able to do all those things, and more besides. But always be careful, never make the mistake of using it to promise more than you can deliver. That you are safe and happy in your life is probably all the comfort you will be able to offer them. You can never reveal much more than that. The risks are too high for us in these times."

I sadly aknowledged that what she had said was true. My allegiance had changed. My loyalties lay with my new sisters now. As much as my family and Chrissy still meant to me the secrecy and anonymity of my people was now of paramount importance to me. There was simply no way I would put that in jeopardy by taking any uneccesary risks or by making an error of judgement.

"What about you?" I asked. "Did you ever doubt what my choice might be?"

She smiled. "I never stopped hoping you`d make the choice you did. Nor did I ever take for granted the fact that you would. I`d seen the upset and turmoil leaving the people you cared for was causing you. And I knew how strong the bond between you and your friend had been, and that...., that was the main cause of the doubts that I had. But also having spent time with you, I knew how much you`d grown to love being a mermaid. I`ve watched you Chloe, you adore your tail, it fascinates you. I`ve lost count of the number of times I`ve noticed you lost in your own world admiring yourself. And so you should. We are females, vanity is one of our few failings after all. And you are a very beautiful mermaid Chloe. I`m certain I`ve not seen many fairer than you in all my years. Then there was your final day. I sensed how unhappy you were. I knew of the loss you felt when your tail was gone. Your feelings of emptiness and despair. How you longed to be at one with the occean, how lost and desolate you felt."

"And that was how the remainder of my life would be if I`d decided to leave the island?" I asked.

She nodded solemnly. "Yes. That`s why you felt the way you did for that day. It was important and only fair that you should have prior knowledge of how you would be living if you left here. That was why I was so relieved you decided to stay. I would have blamed myself for your unhappiness for the rest of my days. Believe me Chloe, I would not have liked to carry around that kind of guilt. It was as I said, I wouldn`t wish that kind of sadness on anyone. I`m sure you can see why we don`t encourage many human females to our sisterhood anymore. The risks and the fallout if something were to go wrong and she wanted to return to her old life are far too great. We have been so unbelievably lucky with you Chloe. But it has been a reminder  to us of how tricky and complicated such episodes can be for all concerned. It has reinforced  the view that the way out of our decline is through our own reproduction, not through the introduction of outsiders. You may well be the last if things go well for us. The root of our problems still lay in the fact that so many of us are born barren. This has been so for two centuries now. Unfortunately that coincides with the proliferation of mankind and their industrialisation. But there is little we can do to remedy that."

"So what will happen to us if things don`t improve?"

She squeezed my hand. "Don`t worry Chloe. I`ve a feeling we`ll prevail. Ultimately it all may turn out to be a waiting game for us. I`m sure you and I and our kind will always be. We have time on our side after all. I hope a time will come when we will thrive and flourish again. But one day we to shall have to go and nothing can change that fact I`m afraid. That is a long way off though Chloe, and until then we shall swim the occeans at least until the sun dies."

"Do you think humans will disappear in time?"

"No. I think they`ll be around for a long, long time yet. Something catastrophic will befall them, but they will survive, albeit in much smaller numbers. They`re intelligent enough to learn from their past mistakes and I really don`t see them repeating them. I hope I haven`t given you the impression that I hate humanity Chloe. I have many reasons for not liking them, but I`m very aware of the good and noble things they are capable of achieving. Unfortunately they are so completely different to us. I don`t think there will ever be a time when our kind can live in harmony with them. We will always remain hidden to preserve the greatest gift we`ve been given. Imagine Chloe what would happen if they were to learn of us and our immortality. That would be a devastating event for them and us. Indeed the whole planet would be jeopardised if that were to happen. Mankind has always been fascinated by the notion of mermaids. But that is all it is to them. A notion. A whimsical fantasy. But all fantasies and myths are based upon an element of truth and fact. For many, many centuries mermaids have unfortunately been sighted by humans. But it`s because of the sometimes exraordinary lengths we go to to remain hidden that these individuals who spy us are ridiculed and derided. There is an element of truth in the tales of mermaids luring mariners to their deaths. Islands like this one were once far more numerous than they are now. If a ship were deemed to be coming too close to our world then we would attract the attention of the crew and we would indeed lure them onto the treacherous rocks. Nearly always there would be no survivors and our secret worlds would remain just that. But of course there were the exceptions. Some did survive. And some made it back to their own world. From their tales the myths of the mermaid were born. However some parts of the legend are completely inaccurate. For instance a mermaid can never leave the occean and develop human legs! That is completely a human notion. Nor has a mermaid ever fallen in love with a human male. We could never get along with mermen! How could we possibly give ourselves to a man? But Chloe, all these stories and myths help in their way to muddy the waters, they distract attention away from us. And so by doing this they are in a way priceless."

I shook my head. Sometimes it really was hard to comprehend some of things I was learning from her. But my mind came back to a question that had been on my mind for sometime now. "Madchenchja? After all that happened to me here, why did you let me leave and return to my family and Chrissy. I don`t understand why you did that. It felt like I was being pushed away. When I was on the boat heading back to them I couldn`t understand why I was leaving here. I didn`t want to go even then. It was such a hard thing for me to have to do."

"I wondered when you`d ask me that question."

I flushed a little as I said, "I can be a bit slow sometimes Madchenchja."

She laughed and in a surprised voice she asked, "How on earth can you think that Chloe? I`ve spent enough time watching you and in your company to know that you are anything but slow. If anything you`ve been a fast learner. You`ve proved yourself very capable and you have the ability to improvise, and cleverly when needed." There was that word again. I thought instantly of my father. How I wished he could have heard that said of me.

"Well to answer your question I wanted you to leave partly because it was the ultimate test for you. I was almost certain you`d come back after I saw how emotional you were when you had to leave, and again on the boat. I was confident that even when you were among the people closest to you that eventually you`d be overwhelmed by the call of the island and the occean. The last time an outsider joined us was many centuries ago now. One such female was lucky enough to survive a shipwreck. She was the mother of two small children, yet she chose to live the life of a mermaid. Another example was a young woman who was one of a twin. She was sailing to the Americas to join her sister, it was there first time ever apart. Of course her ship never made it. We saved her and she never went home. Even the strong bond she shared with her sister couldn`t persuade her to leave. So I had good reason to believe you would come back. This life of ours...., once it`s been experienced is impossible to give up."

"I wish I`d known that." I replied. "It was an awful feeling to drift further and further from here. I don`t think I can ever leave this place. I feel like I belong here. Like I was always meant to be here."

She smiled. "Well you`ll never have to leave it again if that is what you wish. You`ve earned your life here."

"So my leaving was a test?"

"Only in part. The main reason was that I wanted you to at least have the chance to say goodbye. I`m a mother Chloe. I can`t imagine the pain of just losing someone. All the time you were on the island I agonised over what would be the kindest thing for you. Once I knew that you would become a mermaid I thought of little else. It was always going to be incredibly hard for you. I hoped that one last time with your family and friend might in some way ease your pain. I still don`t know if it was the right thing for me to have done. You are the best judge of that Chloe. The night you left and said your farewells I made an oath with myself never to take another human from her family. I intend to honor that oath. I had very grave misgivings about what I was  taking from you. All I want is for you to be happy in your new life. I want what I did to be worthwhile, that way I hope I can find some inner peace."

I thought for a long while over what she`d just said. I held her hand and replied, "I am happy Madchenchja. I`m very happy. I don`t want you to feel bad or guilty about anything. I do realise and understand why you did all those things. You had to. And I`m really not sorry about it. I love my life. I love you. I never dreamt I could be this lucky. You didn`t do wrong by me. I promise you."

We hugged for a long while and then we lazed upon the rock for the rest of the afternoon. The evening brought the large schools of fish closer to the shore once more and we slipped beneath the waves and feasted. We spent our evening in the pool making love and exploring one another. Our bond deepened as we revealed to one another our depth of feelings. Madchechja candidly let slip I was her first attraction in more than two centuries...!! And I thought I`d been in a drought! It got me to wondering even more just how old she is. And I must say it made me feel even more flattered that I`d been capable of tempting this beautiful creature out of her abstinence.

Madchenchja for the most part stayed with me during my early days, but often she was gone for short periods to satisfy her "peculiar cravings" as she called them. I took a lot of pleasure in watching her bloom through the course of her pregnancy. Towards the end though I must say I didn`t envy her as she reached a size that made hunting almost impossible. I managed to feed us both quite comfortably though, and in due course it was time for her to leave for her favoured birthing place. I accompanied her, my first time away from my beloved island for any length of time. I comforted her through the long labour that mermaids suffer, and I was with her as she proudly added another pearl to her necklace on the birth of her daughter.

Epilogue:

It`s been many years now since the events I`ve related. Life has been good to me on my paradise island, but first I want to tell you what has become of the others who played a significant part in my tale. After long months of patient practise and endeavour I became sufficiently competent enough to use my empathic powers to reach Chrissy and my parents frequently. Over time I`ve been able to learn that Chrissy though never able to fully come to terms with my disappearance, has been able to accept that my leaving was not of her doing and that she was not to blame in anyway. She understands that I did what I did out of necessity, that I would never have abandoned her without good reason. Of course I`m forever hindered by the fact I can`t tell her why I left. That particular wound still festers and I fear will never heal. She gave birth to a daughter, but sadly, due to complications in the delivery she cannot bear any more children. It turned out that Brett was not the father of her daughter. He naturally enough disappeared from her life on learning this fact. Her child is the result of a liason with a guy from where she worked. They now live happily together and plan to marry at some point. Her daughter is a very beautiful and clever child. Her name is Chloe.

My mom and dad both eventually married again. My disappearance had an overwhelming effect on my father for a time. I think even though he was the hardest of the three of them for me to reach, he has found some peace of mind in my presence. I know he has taken comfort from the fact that he knows in his heart that I`m happy and well. Mom was not so deeply affected by what happened as Chrissy and Dad. She assumed that I had heeded her advice and left on my travels around the globe to have a good time like she`d said I should. Even the fact that my dress had been found on the beach and I`d been caught on CCTV leaving before dawn couldn`t dissuade her from the view that her words had simply had such a profound effect on me that I just upped and left without warning. My sister Sara continues to excel in her career. She has a longterm boyfriend and one day they hope to marry and raise a family together.

Chrissy to my joy and relief hasn`t become a stranger to my family. The four of them all get together annually around the time of my disappearance, and they drink and they talk about old times. Those occasions are the hardest times for me in my new life. I can see them laughing and reminiscing. I see them fall silent at times. And I see the tears that inevitably come from a chance recalled memory of me. My mom and dad seemed to have patched up many of their differences and they get along better now than they have in many years. I like to think that maybe what happened to me brought them closer again. Perhaps some good came out of what I did to them after all.

As for me? Well I still love my life. I adore being a mermaid! On occasions I`ve encountered "The Sea Shanty" again. She has a new owner now and has had a fresh lick of paint. I`ve often trailed her. I find a comfort in making sure that she returns to her berth safely. I`ve often thought how strange it is that her passengers have no inkling of the story played out on her decks not so long ago. They could never imagine the distant shore their little boat had once beached itself upon and the story that had unfolded thereafter.

In due course my first reproductive cycle arrived. It lasted longer than that of a human female, its symptoms were the same though. So as you can imagine I was relieved when it passed, but mainly I was saddened that I hadn`t been lucky enough to find myself expectant. That was put right the next time and nearly three long years after I produced my first child. Her birth was every bit as painful and difficult as Madchechja had warned me it would be. But in the words of the time worn phrase, "it was all worth it in the end." She bore a striking resemblance to my mom, and of course it felt terribly painful for me to become a mother and not be able to share my joy and new daughter with my family and Chrissy. Madchenchja as always was a great comfort to me, and a wonderful nanny to my baby as I was at first overcome with the burden of becoming a parent. My daughter is now already what would be termed in human words a teenager. She has the body of a beautiful young woman, and Madchenchja has determined from her proportions that she is definitely another breeder. Before she becomes a mom herself though, she will become a sister as I`m currently in my twenty third month of another pregnancy and getting bigger by the day.

Over the years that have passed already since I became a mermaid the plight of my people hasn`t improved. The occeans have continued to deteriorate. The overfishing has increased. Fish stocks are dwindling faster than ever making feeding become increasingly difficult for us. Our numbers have not increased as we hoped they might. In fact they have just remained stable as some of the older mermaids accustomed to the icy cold waters of the Poles have passed away due to the occeans rapid warming. Immortality as I have since learnt is not the given I thought it was...., it is dependant along with all life on the basis that the body can feed and maintain its health. Sadly for some of our sisters they were unable to sustain themselves. Their loss was a bitter blow for us. It has taken many a long time to come to terms with the fact that parts of the occean are now uninhabitable for us. But we continue to live in hope. Madchenchja is sure she is with child again as well, and soon we are sure my daughter will be able to contribute to our numbers.

I have days when our plight becomes a burden to me. But for the most part it`s hard for me to remain gloomy for long. The joy of life is hard to supress in me. I have a wonderful home, I have a beautiful lover and I live the blissfully lazy life of a mermaid. Catching food has become harder for me in my heavily pregnant condition, but of course I have the loving help of Madchenchja and my daughter Chrissy to help me with that!

And so our fragile but wonderful existence continues. Our secret lives are played out everyday away from the gaze of humans. If by chance you should ever happen across a mermaid...., remember...., don`t tell a soul. Nobody will believe you anyway!