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Emma Kathryn

"Flashes: Episode One: Waiting" by Emma Kathryn

SciFi/Fantasy text 27 out of 36 by Emma Kathryn.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This is the first episode of my Vampire Chronicles. Waiting was supposed to be a totally individual short story that just came to me one night but I really loved the character and I've done some more with her. She's kind of a reluctant villain and definatly one of my personl favourites. Hope you enjoy, feel free to comment. Watch this space for more of her.
Recommended Listening: Slaying the Dreamer by Nightwish - oh yes, I've discovered Nightwish >:-D
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←- Flashes Before her Eyes: Prologue | Flashes: Episode Two: The First -→

Waiting

Emma Kathryn McDonald

 

She hated this; mainly because she had no control over it.  It was like another being was wearing her skin.  She never wanted to be like this; the one who had turned her only did so because he claimed she was “too pretty to put to waste.”

            It was a horrific condition and each step of it was worse than the ones it followed.  First, she would see someone she wanted.  Next, she would follow him and learn as much about him as she could.  Then she would obsess about him and she would not be able to stop until she had had him.

“Immortality,” she thought to herself as she stood in the shadows, “it is more of a curse than a blessing and anyone who says otherwise has not been around for as long as I.”  She was leaning against the outer wall of the old tavern, waiting for him.  She lifted her head to the clouded night sky as a rough wind whipped the veil of raven hair away from her pale face.  There would be a storm rolling in any moment now.  It was the midst of summer and even the nights were hot and uncomfortable; the area was in desperate need for a storm to break and clear the air.  She looked out onto the wide grassy field which lay to the east of the tavern.  The tall grasses were being swept around wildly by the wicked wind and she watched as the wind made them dance and listened as they whispered to one another about the cruelty of the wicked wind.  She longed for the days when she could have watched this display while bathing in the warmth of the midday sun but now the condition forbid her from doing so, unless she wished for her immortality to come to a fiery close.

She heard the tavern door swing open.  The creaking of the heavy door and the prattle of voices brought her out of her daze.  She pressed herself against the wall, allowing the shadows to cloak her, and waited.  It was him.  He closed the door behind him after bidding his friends a goodnight, and then he stepped down onto the worn path and began his journey home.  She slowly counted to five then set off to follow him.  She eyed him closely, taking in every movement he made.  No sooner had she set foot on the old path than the rain started, as predicted it would.  It was heavy and intense.  He looked to the sky, shaking his head as he turned up the collar of his coat, thus covering his neck.  This agitated her and she quickened her pace, nearing him faster.

“This is it,” she decided as the rain beat down on her, causing her long black hair to cling to her wet face.  “I end this one tonight.  Enough is enough; I have waited and watched for this one for two long weeks and tonight I finish it.  And then I leave before they find me or I find another one of them.”

He came to his home and stopped, preparing to open the door.  She was immediately behind him now and, if it still functioned, her heart would beat so strong that it would shatter her chest.  She waited until he reached out to push open the door before she placed her slender hand on his shoulder.

“Nathaniel,” she sighed seductively, as he twitched under her touch, causing him to turn around.  He stared into her pale eyes as her crimson lips retracted, revealing the unnaturally sharp incisors, and he did not even have the chance to scream as she pulled back his coat and went for his neck.

She would end this now.  She would not turn him as was so cruelly done to her centuries ago; she would simply end this wild dance of hiding and watching and waiting.  It must end…

The dance was over and she was gone long before he was even cold.

←- Flashes Before her Eyes: Prologue | Flashes: Episode Two: The First -→

DateNameComment 
1 Sep 200545 Jennifer Singleton
Wow, Emma! You are truly an amazing and gifted writer! I really enjoyed this piece. You have great control over your description and sentence length, and set the atmosphere so well. Brilliant, captivating work!

3 Emma Kathryn replies: "Wow! Thank you, you are so kind! Awwww! I'm so chuffed! I tried really hard with this piece so it's nice to get some positive feedback. Thank you! You've made me go all smiley now!Lotsaluv,Em"
8 Sep 2005:-) Julia Anna Rill
Great job! As you know, i love vampires... Dark and mysterious stories with a lot of blood! And all that, combined with exactly the perfect words is what i call a good story, and you have written an excellent story there!!!

4 Emma Kathryn replies: "Mwahahaha...blood..."the blood is life! the blood is life!"...sorry, little Dracula quotation, must remember to use it in my English essay 1
Anyway, thanks loads Julia, you're too good to me.<lotsaluv, Em"
11 Nov 2005:-) Liselott Strand
Oh, this is very good. I like it alot! You are very talented! And I also like Nightwish. =)

18 Emma Kathryn replies: "Hey! Thank you! Yeah, don't Nightwish rule!!! I've used their music for quite a lot of my pieces...i think all my Vampire episodes have a nightwish soundtrack.
Thanks for stopping by!
Lotsaluv, Em"
29 Nov 2005:-) Ryan Stringer
I also liked the fact that this a reluctant Vampire, as opposed to someone who really revels in their power. She does what she needs to do to survice, but doesn't enjoy it. Flow-wise I found it very easy to read through and I didn't encounter anything that jarred me out of it. There were a few little technical things that could be revised, but nothing serious.

Very curious to see where this one goes - great job!

1 Emma Kathryn replies: "Yeah, I was going for something different here. Glad you liked it and yeah, there are a few typos and such...I will fix them someday...but thanks anyway...
Ahhhh, curiosity killed the cat but please keep reading!!!
Lotsaluv, Em"
13 Jun 2006:-) Lindsay Verde
I too have to jump on the bandwagon and agree that I like the vampires reluctance to be immortal. I'd been toying with the idea of making a story where the vampire 1) doesn't like being a vampire and immortal, and 2) isn't as bad as vampires are traditionally....and now this has given me more food for thought. 1

I had one tinesy problem in one part: “Nathaniel, she sighed seductively, as he twitched under her touch, causing him to turn around." Maybe it's just me....but I found the sentence read a little wonky...having him twitch under her touch, and then causing him to turn around right after that. But, then again, that could just be me! 1 No worries! It was a great read, you have loads of talent! 1

4 Emma Kathryn replies: "Hey, glad to have inspired!!! Go for it! And please let me read it when its done. I'm up for doing proof-reading and critiques at the moment and looking for a good read to be honest so please keep me posted.
As for that sentence...this was the first thing I ever posted on Elfwood and I've never really uploaded a corrected version but thanks for pointing that it. I will get round to fixing this someday!
Thanks for stopping by!!!!!
Lotsaluv, Em"
20 Feb 2007:-) Dragonflies2
Is that how you found me? Lindsay? I could've sworn I've read this before though...hmmm.

You have a repetition of wicked wind in the third paragraph, in sentences next to each other. unless its name is Wicked Wind, then it sounds a bit clumsy. At first I was impressed by the alliteration, but then it confused me.

I've always thought the life of a vampire would be a lonely one...perhaps express some longing of hers to turn him, to have a companion, but then the quick banishment.

I didn't find it clumsy, the bit where he twitched and then turned. In fact, I found the whole piece rather smooth and well connected. Well done, it was a pleasure to read. What period is this set in?

4 Emma Kathryn replies: "Again, thanks for the time! And as for the period, I'm trying to throw the periods all over the place in this series to make it kinda like memoirs but anyway, this one is sort of Colonial America.
Hope that helps.
Thank you!
Lotsaluv, Em"
19 Aug 2007:-) Robin Hersom
Your stories comfort me because they are as short as mine. I like vampires. I like werewolves better, but vampires come a close second. And I like this vampire. And I want to read more. So I will!

4 Emma Kathryn replies: "Awww, thank you dearly.
Lotsaluv, Em"
27 Jun 2008:-) Anna Moonfrost
Almost forgot to comment----- It sent chills down my back. I feel how shes a villian and not because she simpithized and didn’t make him a vampire..... i think you could explain better but ya know....

:-) Emma Kathryn replies: "Cool, I’ll have another wee look at this. Wrote it years ago and never really found the time to tidy it up. Thanks for the input!

Lotsaluv, Em"
31 Jan 2009:-) John sharp
Very nice start to your chronicles, thoroughly enjoyable. Fairly believeable too.
I have a suggestion, though this may be covered later on.

Your protagonist does not like being immortal. I imagine she is not overly eager to be a killer, and she certainly does not want to turn others. So I wonder, would she not have thoughts of suicide sunning through her mind often? Has she perhaps tried, and failed? Does the "Demon" inhabitting her prevent her etc. Just a thought

:-) Emma Kathryn replies: "Thanks for the idea. I’ll have a think about it. And thanks for stopping by! If the mods speed up a bit with my ticket, the 6th episode should be up soon.

Thanks for the comment!!!

Lotsaluv, Em"
1 Feb 2009:-) John sharp
You’re welcome. I’ll read more tonight probably, after work, and then I will comment more, as I know how much I appreciate getting comments on my work. Love Vampire stories, so many different angles to take. I have one myself on here if you care to stop by, "The Tale of Marcus Lightbringer", parts 1 and 2

:-) Emma Kathryn replies: "Thank you, much appreciated! I’m the same, I’ll try and stop by after work tonight.

Lotsaluv, Em"
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'Flashes: Episode One: Waiting':
 • Created by: :-) Emma Kathryn
 • Copyright: ©Emma Kathryn. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Chronicles, One, Part, Vampire
 • Categories: Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 1943

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