"I followed my destiny" by Marianne Cassidy

First to comment? Cool... : )
Very sad, very powerful, O Poet. Awesome poem here. I have nothing negative to say whatsoever... except for the fact that I think cosmos is spelt kosmos. I usually don't notise those type of things. But I shall repeat myself- awesome poem. And I'm confused with tis part one and two bit with chapter two... does that mean the whole chapter has been changed and is longer? Then I shall read away when I actually have the time.Hm, as for the spelling of cosmos, I think you must spell it different in America. Just like we spell 'color' as 'colour' in Europe.Don't worry about Chapter Two. It was already pushing the size limit when it was uploaded in piece. I can't be sure if I have made any significant changes. Read it whenever you can find the time. (damn school, hate school).I'm happy to recieve your comments, as always.*bows*. My thanks to you, O Grey One. ^-^

That was 1 of the most saddest poems I have ever read. I used to write the same type. Then I found a solution to all my problems and sadness. You must fine yours too. Try praying it really does help. Don't get the wrong idea from this poem. I'm not always this depressed, I just experience the normal highs and lows of life, like everyone else. This was written at a particulary low point. But my problems are none but the usual ones faced by a normal teenage girl (although my obsession with hobbits may add a slighty strange twist). Thank you for commenting.

I love the personification of Destiny, Dreams, Death, Hope, and I forgot the other ones but you get my point. Makes it come alive with more meaning. Very cool! Thanks. I'm quite proud of this poem really and I appreciate your opinion.

*my mouth will not close, no matter how much I try, i gaze upon your writing in permanent and entrancing awe...* I cannot write like that! Can I? I like to write but when I see this I suddenly feel like a mere infant, although i'm almost an adult (by law, not by heart!)... This is good, better, not to mention best! I like this a whole damn lot... Forgive me if my use of writer's slang is limited, I cannot give you any comment like "I love the way you use the words in comparison to the sentence's whole...or something like that!"I don't even know what I'm talking about if I do that, I'll just stick with "i like!" Maybe I should start a Wyvern's gallery? Post my, mostly creepy, work, I'm working on this story now, about this guy, lost in a swamp, trying to get to his mentor, yet he knows not how to escape the infernal maze this swamp has laid out for him! DON'T STEAL MY STORY!;-p Just mentioning... I do have some drawings on elfwood, so why not writings? (or can one not do that? I'll have to go check the FAQ again! :-p) Well, keep it up, it's great! Thank'ee kindly, sir! I rarely get such long or flattering comments. I have very little knowledge of writing either, so I don't mind if you can't be more informative. It's enough for me if you like.
As for getting your own Wyverns page, all I can say is go for it. Even if you don't feel your writing is not the best it can be. Indeed, this place can be a great help when it comes to getting constructive critcism and learning how to improve. All you have to join if you already have art up in Elfwood, is go to the 'join another elfwood area' option under Tools and Utilities on your Extranet page. Thank you once again and let me know when your story is up. It sounds interesting.

Ooo I like this. A bit dark, a bit deep, a bit hopeful. Nice! You should do more poetry. Thank you and I will!

As a writer you have left this peice teitering on a narrow precipess. One one side there lies a trite little lymric with a nice ABAB ryhyming scheme, and on ther other there is a powerful beat poem waiting to get out. Were I in your shoes(which, mind, I'm not), I would either dilude the rhymes in the first couple of secions, or I would change the entire peice into one with a consistent scheme.

I understand that it's your convention here, however capitoling words just to show that they are Power Concepts ends up looking like you as a writer are Over Dramatic. A visual trick like that needs to be used with incredibal restraint. Immigen it like the red in the flim, Shindlers List. If there were a bunch of objects with color in the movie it would destroy the impact. I think you words are powerful enough lowercase. By having concepts as your main characters you must ask, are they still concepts(even concepts given life, personality and emotion), or are they proper nouns, more like people who happen to represent concepts in an abstract way.Thank you. Two fair points and I'll take them into account...this poem was just a random burst of angsty teenage emotion and I didn't think about structuring it properly.

Wow. Beautiful, absolutely wonderful! I love the style you used in this poem...it left me kind of in awe. Thanks for the comment, Rachel, I sure do appreciate it!

this is a beautiful poem. rhyming poetry is difficult, and yours is structured very nicely. i am in awe.
i am also fifteen, and i also write, and i'm thinking about creating my own page for my poetry. you wrote in your bio that you hope to inspire others the way your favorite authors have inspired you. well, you just inspired one person to start a gallery
keep writing, even if your creativity feels blocked, because you never know when you're going to affect someone.

I... really like this. I wish I could offer some criticism, but I honestly can't think of anything I would change. I can say that I like the effect your words have, especially the less common ones like 'snatch' and 'hark'. The end effect is both ambiguous (simply because things like destiny and fate have no physical appearance) and open-ended: you could apply this to so many heroes' struggles. And yet this isn't cliched or overdone at all. I don't think I've ever read another person's writing about destiny itself, rather than about a specific character. It has such a nice effect... bah. That's my longwinded way of saying that I'm quite fond of this poem and that I admire your mad writing skills. Goooo Snuffles!