Hey. I'm going around, passing out funky gifts. Here's yours. This cute little critter may look like just a blue-scaled german-shepherd with a spiked tail, but he can also hypnotise, tell jokes, and spit a sticky substance that hardens into a shell, immoblizing your enemies so that they can be hypnotised. Use him to protect your realm from nasty commentors, mutant rats, and solicitors.

John H. Blackham replies: "Why hazzah! (pokes it playfully in the guttish)Merry Christmas to you too (as it were, given that this is in fact a secular holiday which represents the midwinter feast celebrated in most midieval villages around Europe, before the Church of the period got ahold of it)!!!*toys with it's chin*Ow.*promptly stops toying with it's chin*Well, thanks for stopping by, which is more than most people including myself have done! I shall now begin training this blue-scaled hypnotic spikey-tailed, invincible, and witty German Shepherd to not bite while having it's chin so generously attended to, unless the attender (sp?) happens to be a mortal enemy of mine, in which case he shall bite all atoms of flesh he can detect!!!"

Donuts, give it donuts. All the wierd beasties like donuts. This one the jelly-filled kind.

Oh! You have a new picture. Fascinating. I'd put one up myself, but I choose to remain mysterious. And i hate my hair. Anyhow, how was your christmas? It was said that Christ's birth was some time around April, and since Easter already had that month, some other month was needed. Just a bit of holiday info. I thought it was interesting when i was told, though the details elude me at the moment. What do you plan for New Years? I plan on watching all three extended Lord of the Rings until midnight. It should be interesting.

John H. Blackham replies: "isn't it funny, tho? I commented on your page seconds before seeing this...*makes massive order to Krispy Kreme*That I do, that I do...I took it when I was tired, of course, and while I was wearing a tuxedo...due to a choir performance earlier that day. Anyways--Christmas...sketchpads...chocolate...DISTORTION!!! I recieved distortion for my guitar! Which made me happy! As to Christ's birth--it was supposed to be in spring, in sooth, though the date was never specified, at least not to me... And new years--well---as soon as I steal the extended ROTK from one of my friends, I too shall obessively and compulsively watch the entire series and loudly explain all manner of Ardan history tied to the half-made references throughout...like, for instance, Middle-Earth is merely a continent on the planet of Arda, explained in full in the Silmarillion...if...you ever read that. Presently, I shall finish chapter V...hazzah!"

Must say Happy New Years. My brain is stuffed full of Lord of the Rings, and I didn't even get around to watching the third one last night. But watching them back to back like that rocked! I think I'll make it a tradition.
So, how was your NY Eve?

John H. Blackham replies: "How ironic--I only watched the third one! After watching it, began to feel deeply sorry for those who had only watched the original version...the extended scenes match the book a LOT better than the rest (given, of course, the fact that a lot of the events were supposed to transpire in TTT)...Saruman dies, there's more celebrating, and the Mouth of Sauron talks to Aragorn! He was soooo freaking creepy...You couldn't see his face at all, except for his mouth (of course), and...he...had a really creepy mouth. He kept smiling...anyway. My NY was pretty good, I suppose...I actually stayed up till past 3 AM, writing bizarre messages on my friend's group-story-messagae-board-thing...anyways, that and overeating. I also (ha-haaaa!) found the most awesome world-building utilities (www.fargoth.com/downloads), whuich aided me a lot in completion of my fifth chapter! And then made me realise I need to rewrite it all...ah well. So that was my NY -- a bit dull, I fear. Ah wells...**looks to a brighter 2005, which of cours it will be, because Our Lady Peace has scheduled to release their 7th album**"

BEAUTIFUL,i love it, LOVE IT! It still has good form for the type of setting it has we still need to look it over together and mince words about a sentence or two. but other wise. . . . . .IT. . . IS . . . ALIVE!!!!er. . . or um BEAUTIFUL

John H. Blackham replies: "Heeeey Chris! Having already introduced you...THIS IS CHRIS, ON HIS SECOND INTRODUCTION, WHO IS THE CO-WRITER OF THIS, MORE OR LESS. AS OF RIGHT NOW, HE AND I ARE WORKING ON THE PLOT TOGETHER; FROM THERE, I DO THE ACTUAL WRITING AND HE'S CURRENTLY WORKING ON INVENTING/PERFECTING OUR CULTURES' LANGUAGES. If, in the next ten years, we manage to publish it, it will be under both our names, hopefully. that said: glad you like it so far, chris! By the time I submit writing again, I will hopefully be uploading chapters 5, 6, and 7. Till then!!! **if you get this reply before i next talk to you...i'll email you what i have so far**"

I have a thought to express. I was pondering Tolkein, and how many authors are always trying to make stories like his, and I realized that your story does indeed come very near to being Tolkein-ish. Not just in the writing style but in the story itself with all the deep history involved and such. Yet, at the same time, it is very much its own story, simply because you did not go for the growing cliche configuration of elf, man, dwarf, wizard leader, and some little guy. There are so many stories with that configuration that it has become tiresome, and your story has taken a fresher approach. I'm not saying the configuration is bad, just done a little too much.

Anyways, I just wanted to mention it. Thought you might appreciate it.

John H. Blackham replies: "Why thank you! I do quite appreciate it...in fact, I'm outright flattered! At any rate...I will undoubtedly need to reqrite everything I've written so far and go over it in a great deal more detail...at least, in print I shall. For a web-version, I think it'll last...but in print I'll have to expand a great deal of it. As to the group-of-peoples cliche...yeah, I was reading a Dragonlance book a while back, and was amazed at how shamelessly the writers were mimicking the elf-man-dwarf-wizard-rouge party. So far, it looks like all of my characters are going to be human...as I see it, the reason that the classic 'fantasy' party exists as it does is due to the need of diversity in groups, and fantasy races are typically designed for one task alone...elves as rangers, dwarves as fighters, etc. RPG-style...i use races in the sense that we use them today, as ethnicies. Characters will be introduces in later chapters as though they were aliens, when in fact they are simply humans of an unusual ethnicy (Gomthul-born people are of medium complexion, dark hair and blue or green eyes; southerners are very similar to Middle-Eastern people in apperance, with dark skin and hair, brown eyes...you know the routine...and the Omrigians are sort of like the Goths...with extremely pale skin and silver-blonde hair. Each seems rather alien to the next, you uderstand...) I guess I took a leaf out of Robert Jordan's fantasy writings in that regard (almost everyone in his stories are humans as well, and those that aren't are extremely creepy and disturbing).Anyway...there are nonhuman races, of course (like the things that attacked the village in the beginning as well as the lizard-thing that Sanadred killed), but...heh...there is one last race that is yet to be revealed **insane laughter, coupled with a confused look to chris [who commented above], trying to work out exactly what it's going to be**sorry. I rant...anyway: thanks for the perceptions and support!! I really do appreciate it..."

My god tolk almost never fased me. . . . . hmmm . . . . oh well . . . anyways the language came of to a great start with a start of over 100 words . . . just thought i would let you know. ENTERED AT 10:02 P.M.

John H. Blackham replies: "ooh yay! do please email what you have...and if you're stll working on it: you're still in French, right? remember the gramatical stuff...try to keep a consistant gramatical structure...and thanks!"

Hello. Long time no... um... chit-chat. I just wanted to say that I saw the previews for Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Have you seen them yet? Totally Tim Burton - a little disconcerting at first glance, yet brings about a desire to see it all the same. I can't wait to see the whole thing. Johnny Depp was thus far rather interesting (not to mention a little freaky) as Willie Wonka. I think he will do a good job.

John H. Blackham replies: "aloha! glad to see you here again! hazzahs! *begins celebrating*

anyway. I have seen such trailers...perhaps one too many times, actually! Yes...Johnny Depp, I think, will do an excellant job at it...he looks exactly like Freddy Mercury!!! It's scary. I shall try to see that, you know, the day it comes out...at midnight...and all. Great stuff!!!"

So, how'd you survive the time warp? Are you disoriented, delierious?

I'm misplaced. My Fan Art page was lost and I'm unable to get into my art page. Are you having similar troubles? Hopefully it should be fixed soon.

John H. Blackham replies: "I lost three stories!!! and I can't find one of them to resubmit... but I shall send another ticket as soon as I am able! Yes, I too are unable to access my art page, and my scanner is going out of commission as well... *sigh* ah, yes, and now I must wait such and such time before even attempting to fix it all! Sad times... now... to see how badly it affected my art page as soon as I can find out how to get on..."

Great gobs of goo! You've submitted a lot of chapters. I need to find where I left off. Ooohhh, I'm excited! I've been looking forward to ruther chapters.

John H. Blackham replies: "Yeah... you know, the sad thing is, I've not been writing in this series in almost three months now... I started up a new one (the one from the art page with Thimblewald and the like), but I definately intend to finish this one before too long... well, thanks for coming on by and reading 'em!"

Somebody kill me, the edited version.

"But it all was a load of BS
It was a gosh darn joke
and when I think of you John Blackham
I hope you will surely choke."

-From Russia with love