"The Daring Adventures of Prince Darian the Dashing" by Kayla Awesome Dragon Pahl

     I, the dashingly handsome Prince Darian the Dashing did ride dashingly through a regretfully generic forest one lovely day (upon my magnificent noble steed), on my princely quest to resccue damsels in distress, slay foul monsters, and, in short fulfill the heroic legacy to which I was so justly.

     The problem was that I had not been able to accomplish any of these tasks yet, It did trouble me to such a great intensity that, for fear of never finding my one true love, I could not sleep at night. This is a disturbing thing for a prince as dashingly handsome as I, for I did need my rest.

     Suddenly, in the distance, I did behold a very tall tower with a single window, out which dod look a beautiful young maiden. She did have to be the damsel in distress destined to be my destiny!

     Gleeful with my newfound purpose, I did kick my noble steed into a gallop in the direction of the tower, calling out as I went, "Fear not, my love! I shall rescue you!"

     Hastily, gleefully, and dashingly did I make my way to where my true love did await me. Finally, I did reach the tower. To my horror, I did discover that there was no way up to my love. This did have to be some form of a test of my princely abilities!

     I did stand (my noble steed having suspiciously vanished right out from under me) dashingly at the foot of the great tower, and did wonder how I would rescue my fair maiden. This was when I did think I heard something. Cunningly and daringly, I did hide.

     An ugly, warty witch did come out of the trees, glaring at nothing in particular. Knowing she would surely kill me if she saw me, I did hide evem more cunningly and daringly (not to mention dashingly) further back in the bushes which were conveniently near the foot of the tower. I was no longer capable of seeing with my dashing blue eyes, but did strain to hear all with my amazing royal ears.

     "Rapunzel, Rapunzel," the dreaded witch did cry in a dry, cracking voice, "let down your hair!"

     There were a few minutes of silence, and I did finally, courageously, dare to peek around the convenient bushes. The witch was gone.

     This did spark my imagination. My beloved maiden. . . her name was Rapunzel and she did have very long hair that could reach to the foot of the tower!

     This revelation did embolden me, but I did recall that I did have to wait for the witch to leave before I could ascend to my love. I did sit and wait with amazing patience that did completely amaze me.

     Within moments, I did hear the witch"s awful voice again. The next time I did daringly dare to peek around the bush, she was gone. Now it was my turn.

     "Don"t worry, beloved," I did say to the empty tower window. "I shall rescue you and you shall be my princess." I did boldly stride up to the tower, and did shout in my most dashing voice, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

     Nothing did happen.

     Fearing that the maiden had not heard me, I did shout the same magic words even louder, and even more dashingly.

     At long last, the maiden did lean out the window to look at me. To my astonishment, I did notice that her hair was far too short to reach to the foot of the tower.

     "What are you saying?" She did ask. "I"m afraid I couldn"t hear you."

     I did puff out my chest and straighten my shoulders, doubtlessly dazzling her with my dashingness. "My fair maid Rapunzel, I have come to rescue you from this vile witch!"

     The maiden did laugh. "Then you would be in need of the correct words. Don"t you mean "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, show me the stairs?""

     My face did redden in a dashingly handsome way. "But of course!" I did repeat the magic words, naming the tower, and therefore defeating its magic.

     A set of stairs did materialize out of thin air, leading right from that solitary window to where I did stand, ever so dashingly.

     Believing my romantic timing to perfect, I did begin climbing to meet her. "At last, my love, we can be together!"

     "No," was her simple reply before she did push me off the staircase. Luckily, I did fall only six feet. When I did finally regain my consciousness, the maiden was gone.

     I never did see the maiden or the tower named Rapunzel again. In fact, I now do think this was not the proper way to find one"s true love.

     Perhaps it would be a far better idea to host a ball. . . .