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Stories / Stories / Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson / Text 15 of 31 / Long Night Moon

"Long Night Moon" by Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson

SciFi/Fantasy text 15 out of 31 by Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson. ←Previous - Next→

a poem about an elf who loves the night

←- The Moon Walkers | Black Bird Sings -→

It was in the night of the long night moon

That i heard the starlight softly croon

The words filled my ears with a wistful tune

And down i lay in night times womb

I looked up to the glittering sky

And watched a satellite float by

I felt as if i may just cry

As i looked into the heavens so high

Then from my mossy bed

I saw some bats fly overhead

I lay so still, as if my body were dead

I watched so quietly so they would not dread

But then as they began to dance

I realized from their human stance

They were not bats as i thought at first glance

But fairies that flew as i fell in a trance

And as the dawn drew ever nearer

I had to whisk away a tear

For as the sky grew oh so clearer

The fairies flew away in fear

←- The Moon Walkers | Black Bird Sings -→

Date	Name	Comment
29 Aug 2003	Alice Muffin Girl Smith	Loading... Never mind that first comment. grins Guess E and I are on at the same time... that's cool Holly 'bat baby' Davidson replies: "lol ur silly, it can be a first comment tango with E!"
29 Aug 2003	Alice Muffin Girl Smith	Loading... ~ "That *i* heard the starlight softly croon" ~ "And down *i* lay in night *times* womb" <<< To the second: apostrophe needed ~ "I felt as if i may just cry" ~ "As *i* looked into the heavens so high" ~ "They were not bats as *i* thought at first glance" ~ "But fairies that flew as i* fell in a trance" ^^^ Capitalize your "I"'s. Please. Hmm... I like the feeling in that line about her holding still as if she's dead so she won't scare them... I can relate to that... grins wickedly Ever tried stalking squirrels before? is sleep-deprived, and dang proud of it PS: first comment solo tango, which is really quite an interesting sight
29 Aug 2003	E. Hanna	Loading... I'd make some technical commentary about counting your syllables and night's womb but that's not really my main concern. The emotion and feeling behind these poems is alive and clear, which is one of many ways to write something good. I enjoyed the imagery as well, which was simply and inventively described. I cannot believe your parents would think there was something wrong with you after reading your poems. My dad listens to stranger stuff than that. (Singing softly to himself) "Daggers of moonlight/murder the sheets..." Well done. Holly 'bat baby' Davidson replies: "this wasnt one of the ones my parents were worried about. Necropolis and a bunch of others that arent fantasy they were worried about. these poems are compleetly out of my sunny nature to write. they were just worried. its all good now"
5 Sep 2003	Camilla 'Motone' Whitney	Loading... I like that, specifically the first stanza. (helpful comments, i know 9_9) Holly 'bat baby' Davidson replies: "thanks.....wahts a stanza? * walks around uneducated and stupid*"
11 Sep 2003	Krissy 'John Marie' Jones	Loading... This was so pretty, and very cute. I loved it very much. It painted such a cool image, almost (at least to me) a portrayal of some sort of African jungle. The meter could use a little work, but I should never be one to criticize that! We all have our problems and that's one of my biggest ones. Anyway, this is lovely! I enjoyed it!
8 Sep 2007	Avena	Loading... A stanza is basically a paragraph. I love the poem!!!

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'Long Night Moon':

• Created by:

Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson
• Copyright: ©Holly ´bat baby´ Davidson. All rights reserved!

• Keywords: Elf, Faery, Moon, Night
• Categories: Elf / Elves, Faery, Fay, Faeries, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
• Views: 313

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