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Stories / Stories / Ben Cameron / Text 28 of 29 / Of Humans and Elves - A Bardic Tale

"Of Humans and Elves - A Bardic Tale" by Ben Cameron

SciFi/Fantasy text 28 out of 29 by Ben Cameron. ←Previous - Next→

This is the poetic version, as told by a bard, of the Border Feuds which accounts for the rivalry between humans and elves through Ishtar. This version is only sung in the more liberal areas of Ishtar or outside in other countries for any mention that the elves could have a point could well be the last song the bard would sing.

←- Of Humans and Elves, Part 12 | The Song of the Elves (poem) -→

In the stretching Issathrian* where the

streams run fast and cold

And the creatures of legend and myth

living in that threshold

Are fearless to the whim’s of man

for they are separated

Lived the long hidden but not forgotten,

elves, isolated

The elves, according to stories handed

down by word of mouth

Were the Chosen of the gods themselves

to keep peace in the south

Where we lived in Ishtar, Camargue

and beyond, across the sea

But something happened to change that, sometime

back in history

And this is where the story differs

for so far it’s true

And though I will tell them both, the truth

will be left to you

To decide as you listen to

The saga of the Border Feuds

And the first of the tales, that in elfin

betrayal concludes

The 3^rd Era, Caelan’s reign, a moment

now etched in lore

From across the sea, from Syracuse

they came in ships of war

And relentlessly murdered all

child, adult, warrior, priest

The elves kept their promise and came

to protect the peace

Although the elvish warriors brought peace

that Ishtar needed

They were resented by the humans

after Syracuse conceded.

Ishtar thought them cocky and proud

of the skills elves alone held

And as such, they turned on the elves who were

from Ishtar expelled

So say the elves, who on Ishtar’s border

broke their binding vow

Never again would they aid humans

There is another side to the story:

the elves are to blame.

For the elves choose to come months too late

when Ishtar was aflame

As Syracurians rampaged

through Ishtar’s coastal cities.

And in doing so, the elves broke their vows

to the deities

For their willingness to see Ishtar fall

in spite of the gods

Ishtar vowed to never again take aid from the elves

Of the stretching Issathrian where the

streams run fast and cold

And the tale of humans and elves,

you have heard unfold

Now you must decide on the truth,

did the elves break their oath?

Or were the humans much to quick to judge?

perhaps, just maybe, a bit of both.

*The Issathrian is the name the elves give to their homeland of trees and plains

←- Of Humans and Elves, Part 12 | The Song of the Elves (poem) -→

Date	Name	Comment
27 Dec 2003	Nora Stel	Loading... OMG how tragic a history you sketched here. But very believable and though it is sad it contains beauty too (Actually it made my think of a quote out of a book I read some months ago (Legend, by David Gemmell, an awesome book btw) 'All beauty is sad, for it fades'. I don't exactly know why that quote entered my mind, but it suits this poem I think) This poem is exactly what the title says: a bardic tale. I could just hear the bard in some tavern or inn telling this particular history. I think this is a good form to introduce some history actually, a poem is a nice way to give some information about events that took place in the past. But hey, I don't have to tell you that: if anyone knows it's you! The ending was especially touching, I adored the last words: 'perhaps, just maybe, a bit of both' These few words say so much! You captured so much courage and wisdom in that sentence. It makes clear that there are at least some people that still think for their self and don't take everything that is told for granted. Amazing poem! This is one of my favorites from your library so far! I want more of your 'Of Elves and Humans' history! The past of their world seems to be as interesting as their future! Ben Cameron replies: "Thankyou.Wonderful praise from you again. There are definately a few people left who believe both have a case to answer for, however, they are, at the moment, the minority. The actual history involved is slightly more detailed than the one from "Creation Myth" and you're right, their past is quick interesting. If I ever get bored of writing their present and future, a past might well appear on this site."
28 Dec 2003	Kristin L. Thomas	Loading... LoL! I'll be a critic. The first half of the poem is very well written and the rhyming and stanzas are very tightly written. AS you move toward the end, the lyrics of the poem start to lose the harmony that they had in the beginning. I don't know if that was intentional as the last half talks of war. (Which is a chaotic event) But to me, I would keep the same rhythm. This being because I see myself sitting in front of an elder or bard as a small child. As a small child, It would be much more entertaining to hear everything mesh together......and easier to remeber. When I read this story, it just seems like part of a folk tale that would be told to young children as a bed-time story or around the fire. This tale had a lot of character in it. I like it Ben Cameron replies: "It lost its harmony? Oh no... I'd thought I managed to keep it; certainly, I wasn't going for it to fall apart. Thanks so much for pointing it out.You are quite correct about things needing to stayed meshed together, especially as it is a bard's tale that is supposed to be remembered. I shall look into those rhymes and rhythms."
28 Dec 2003	D Joelle Duran	Loading... I agree with Nora...it's so real because there's two sides (at least) to every conflict. I like how you repeat "stretching Issathrian where the/ streams run fast and cold..." At the beginning and end. It really brings it together. And I could definitely see where a bard singing this in the wrong place might have to bid farewell to his head! Ben Cameron replies: "Wow, no crits on this? Didn't catch the one typo? Poems have always been hard for me, so I'm happy you like it and that it tells the story properly."
29 Dec 2003	Kristin L. Thomas	Loading... Not really lost harmony......in fact it may have been intentional. I just noticed that each new stanza usually had eight lines. When you came closer to the end, there were a couple that had only three lines..... Ben Cameron replies: "ah, right - those were intentional. Partly because I ran into some difficult rhymes and partly because what I needed to say only took a few lines and I wanted it to be short. I shall try to make it rhyme a little more though."
30 Dec 2003	Dtauri	Loading... I concur with Nora and Joelle - great stuff here! I think its the best of your poems so far, personally. You're teasing us with more background detail to your world - it sounds like a fabulously thought out place! Good work! Ben Cameron replies: "This is my favourite poem, too, with Guardian behind it. This wasn't meant to be a teaser but a slightly more in depth explanation in a different form than prose, sounds like it worked out though. Thanks Damien, your comments are excellent as always."
17 Jan 2004	Alice Muffin Girl Smith	Loading... The , and it’s associated information, seem overkill to me. The poem explains that well enough –don’t distract our attention from the flow of the poem simply to be redundant. ~ ‘The 3rd* Era, Caelan’s reign, a moment’ << You know, if a bard was singing this, I somehow doubt he’d say “3rd.” I have a sneaking suspicion he’d say “third.” has a big Pet Peeve concerning numbers that aren’t written out, and how very ungraceful they look in ditties Warning: Muffin is not an expert on poetry. She is, in fact, The Self-Proclaimed Hater of Poems. You are forewarned to view her opinions in this light. Key Words: You are forewarned. Okay. The rhyme scheme. I hated it. I really, really did. It’s very regular, but the fact that it only encompasses every other line hurts my brain. Why not establish a rhyme scheme of equal merit in the other lines? It seems to me that, if this was truly a song meant for bards, that there would be a rhyme scheme throughout... Not only would that make it more pleasing in the listeners’ ear, but it would make it easier for the bard to remember and rattle off with dignity. Yeah. My suggestion would be to give all the lines a rhyme scheme, rather than this on-off-on-off style you’ve got going. Yip. As to the content, I was thinking throughout that it would be very interesting if you worked this into the main story. Especially considering that they’re about to go on the trip... Perhaps they could spend a night in an inn where a visiting bard was performing it? ‘Twould be an excellent way to work in the history of your world, in the notably classy way of putting it in the mouth of a performer of the world. Ben Cameron replies: "Ouch... still, there is nothing like puncturing an ego to stimulate the creative juices. You are correct about that 3rd thing. The rhyming scheme is I think more simply that I don't have a correct rhythm down since the lines that don't rhyme run on to the following line, which does rhyme. I will look into the rhythm of it, though and consider rhyming everything. I've probably mentioned this somewhere else, but I don't particularly like poetry myself either, so I especially appreciate you even reading this."
19 Jan 2004	Alice Muffin Girl Smith	Loading... The good thing about poems is they're easy to read, and usually short... the bad thing is that they're hard to comment upon... Yeah. shrugs Sorry 'bout the ego pucturin'. Ben Cameron replies: "That's fine - it's not good for it to get too big. This'll get me to actually do some work on it."
22 Feb 2004	Jamie A. Hughes	Loading... I concur with the other writers here that this is a wonderful poem that has a real style and flair. You asked for crits and were shocked when you didn't get them, so I'll be the bad guy (or girl as it were.)One is never a 'bad girl' or guy for leaving crits - unless their based on thin air - which this isn't.. The third era, Caelan’s reign, a moment now etched in lore From across the sea, from Syracuse they came in ships of war And relentlessly murdered all children, adults, warrior, and priests The elves kept their word and came to protect the peace. Although the elves brought the peace that Ishtar greatly needed They were resented by the humans after Syracuse conceded. Ishtar thought them vain and pompous of the skills they held alone And as such, without moral compass they expelled them from their silver throne. Oh, I especially like the second stanza. Much better meter than the original. I hope you don't mind me amending the original to your version, though I will probably change even that a bit. I saw you had 3rd, and that was what caught my eye. I fiddled with the meter a bit. It still is FAR from perfect (let me accent that again...FAR from perfect), but I thought I could at least offer you a few ideas. I really do love this poem and its storytelling feel. I would love to hear you sing this before a fire with a lute in your hands! (Can you imagine!?!)Ah... me before a fire with a lute... actually, I can imagine me there, since I play guitar and love camping / fires / night etc. Many thanks for your ideas. They've prompted me into a revision of this. One last thing - THIS IS MY 300TH COMMENT!!! Thanks so much! If you so wish, you can request either poetry or prose on any subject you desire (I prefer prose..., as you've pointed out, my meter, amongst other things, often needs work).
23 Aug 2004	Larry N. Morris	Loading... falls on the floor laughing Alice said, "Muffin is not an expert on poetry." and "She is, in fact, The Self-Proclaimed Hater of Poems." It didn't seen to stop her though, did it? wipes away a tear and gasps for breath as he staggers out to read more
26 Dec 2005	B. Layne Weaver	Loading... Hello, Ben!! It was high time I got back over here to your shelf. ^_^ "Are fearless to the whim's of man" -- don't need an apostrophe in "whim's" A bardic tale, eh? I know people tend to worry about meter and whatnot (which I'm horrible at) when writing poetry, and though things seemed a little forced throughout this work, it is meant to be sung, no? I think "poems" that are sung have much more leeway when it comes to rhythm, for the melody forces the rhythm for you. Do you have a melody in mind when you read this? Nicely done!