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Ben Cameron

"Of Humans and Elves, Creation Legend" by Ben Cameron

SciFi/Fantasy text 14 out of 29 by Ben Cameron.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This is the creation myth and a very brief history of the elves (a.k.a the Promised) and the humans. I'm not sure if giving this will give too much away of the actual story, it probably will, but tell me what you think of it.
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←- Memoirs of a Damsel | Of Humans and Elves, Prologue -→

Creation Myth

      Chaos ruled.

      Out of the anarchy came the Ancients.  Five creatures of power, elemental forces in their purest form.  Together, they created the known world and to it, each contributed their own strengths and weaknesses: the intrinsic power of nature, the boiling seas, the awesome fury of the storm, and the immobility of the mountains, and then living life.

      Kohl, Goddess of Earth, carved the land.  From her came the strength and wisdom for both nature and mankind.  As she carved, though, tears of sorrow flowed down and filled the gullies, valleys and oceans, for she foresaw and knew the troubles her world would face.

      To Pyrrha’s whim cavorted tongues of fire, dancing and growing in the dangerous winds of his breath.  Passionate and unpredictable, both beautiful and terrifyingly potent, an impossible allure to behold.  The God of Fire’s very being is reflected in the emotions of human and elfkind: love, hatred, jealously, envy and adoration.

      From Acacias’ patient dedication sprang the fauna and flora, manifestations of her youthful joy and purity.  Her innocence lives on in the leaping deer, the diving kite and contented babes.  Yet there are inevitably those who seek to corrupt, to pervert this innocence, bending it to their own ends and there are always those susceptible to their perversions.

      Uthero, Goddess of Life.  She spent eons sculpting and perfecting her creations: the races.  Yet, for all the countless millennia, Uthero’s pride in her abilities crept into all of those she made.  She was their Pandora’s box, into her receptacles, her creations she let Pyrrha’s emotions pour.  When she, and they, realised the mistake, there was nothing more the Ancients could do, life was doomed to live with their blunder.

      In the beginning, there was chaos, and thus, must chaos remain.  Durga.  More element and power than being, the God Of Chaos was and is both essential and hated, a necessary evil.  Some argue he was the first, some that he does not even exist, for it is an ugly truth to believe the world is innately bound to chaos, but this does not and could not reduce his colossal, though unwieldy, power.

      And yet everything must fade in time, and the Ancients knew only too well that their influence was limited.  Thus, they offered the elves a proposal: immortality.  In return, they were to be the protectors; guardians of all the Ancients had created.  The elves, though, must never interfere with those outside their realm unless in dire circumstances.  When needed, fate would give rise to one competent and capable of leading the elves to sustain peace in the land.

      In this, though, Durga was not consulted, and the other four Ancients forever incurred his wrath for their indiscretion.

      Some believe there was another Ancient, a sixth in the circle.  One whose face and name were never known.  One known only as the Protector.  Most say He is the God of the Firmaments, for certainly His face is hooded so well it is as dark as the night sky.  Others believe Him to have ruled over the Ancients.  According to legend, His power was so phenomenal that He still walks the lands today though the other Ancients have long since fallen into unconscious sleep.

 

      The elves found that their immortality came not without a price.  Although already reclusive, their exclusion from others isolated them further, until they became a highly cultured and intelligent, but not diverse, race.  They eventually separated further, splitting into small clans that roamed their lands together, congregating only at important times of the year.  In due time, they found out why outside interaction was forbidden.  For Uthero’s creations had gained as much from her gifted hands as from her personality.  The humans were jealous and arrogant.  Over the ages, as the elves occasionally intervened to prevent certain disaster, the humans resented and lusted after the elves’ longevity and affinity for the magiks for it ran weak in their blood.

      Eventually, during the Border Feuds of the 3rd Era, the elves often found themselves under attack, albeit covertly, from their allies as often as from their enemies.  Although they saw the Feuds to an end, the elves never forgave the covetous humans and a deep-rooted hatred, long ago foretold by the Goddess Kohl, has since developed between the two races.

      As promised, fate delivered exactly what was needed, but fate is a whimsical thing, and does not always deliver in the expected package.

←- Memoirs of a Damsel | Of Humans and Elves, Prologue -→

DateNameComment 
30 Dec 200345 The Entirely Random Axe-Murderer
*sniffles* I'm not a bad guy... It's my Author that's bad... She hurts me when we're alone, you know... *sniffle sniffle*

Muffin: *narrowed eyes* You're gonna pay for that comment, boy-o...

Entirely Random Axe-Murderer: Protect me! *huddles behind you, hugging his ax to his chest like a teddy bear*

:-) Ben Cameron replies: "Protects him for being such a misguided little chap. *Rings the RSPCC (royal society for the protection of cruelty to characters)*"
2 Jan 200445 Carolyn Anderson
Wow, intiguing. It's all very well put together, and the diction flows very nicely. Its a great start to a story.

:-) Ben Cameron replies: "Thanks for your comment, it's great hearing comments like that."
5 Jan 2004:-) L.A. Richier
Well, hullo creation legend! ^^ I really like how you described this whole thing... I think 'creation legend' fits it best. I absolutely adore how you described how the four Ancients made the world - words like "carved' "sprang" and "pride" make the reader really grasp what's going on. The names are fun, too, very unique - especially considering they're of your creation. I like how in your world the elves are second-best (I did the same thing in my Defective Court thingy) and the humans are jealous of their long lives and magic... That's very cool, Mr. Cameron. Very cool indeed.

My only real nitpick would be this.... is this just to explain to the readers what's going to happen, or is it like what a random person in your world would teach to their children? If it's the latter, I would advise against using the analogy to Pandora's Box. While it's a fantastic connection for the readers, if you want this to a creation myth straight out of a human or elf's mouth.. might want to avoid the Greek analogies. ^^;; Great idea, though. Brilliant and tactful moves putting the gods and goddesses with "human" personalities (per say) as they have serious flaws, too. Very nice, Mr. Cameron.

:-) Ben Cameron replies: "Many thanks for your comment - so many people rave about them, and they're totally accurate. This was originally meant to be a prologue, but I realised it wasn't going to work as that, so it is now solely there for the reader's benefit, to explain a little bit about the world to the reader. Thanks for the comment about Pandora's box, though, since if I decide to include this as an actual story within Of Humans and Elves I could very easily have "copy and pasted" the whole thing.One last thing - I'm only 17 - Mr. Cameron sounds... like I'm a teacher. Ben is quite fine, though I appreciate your politeness. Thanks again for a wonderful comment."
29 May 200445 James Hayward
Nice scene setter to a longer piece. One thing;

'the humans resented and lusted after the elves’ longevity and affinity for the magiks for it ran weak in their blood.'
Comma after magiks, perhaps?

12 Ben Cameron replies: "Yup, comma's needed there. Thanks!"
1 Jun 2004:-) Laura J. Korska
Very intriguing! You've done a great job of making people want to read further. It is very well thought out and imaginative to show background like this. Well, on to chapter one!

:-) Ben Cameron replies: "This was going to be my prologue, till I realised it was terrible at that job and that it worked better as a background history - serendipity's a good thing, isn't it?"
14 Jul 2004:-) Becca Lusher
Ah i love creation legends! I have way too many of my own, but that doesn't stop me from loving to read other peoples'. Just a bit of a confidence boost to the reader that while we wait between chapters that you do actually know what your world is all about ^_^ tis nice to know that.
Okay someone caught the Pandora thing... so ah yes, you begin with Chaos ruled. Now this is a picky thing, and i've probably been reading too much Milton, but the original meaning of Chaos was the void before existence, the nothing which existed before everything else. However that kind of collapses around its ears because you have a god of Chaos - i just wanted to point that out, even if it's basically redundant on my part.

Anyway, yes I liked this and now I'm going to go and start reading...
(As for it as a prologue, yeh i think you're right in changing your mind - as the start of a book it's not enough, but as you're going to incorporate it in to the story great! However tis a good thing to have here to explain to people *before* you get around to putting it in... a brief explanation of what's going on. Oh i know what i mean - *scampers*)

:-) Ben Cameron replies: "And I get what you mean too, no worries.

As for Chaos - well... each to his own, I guess. Still, it is necessary to the story. Just imagine him as a god that likes taking things apart rather than a empty nothingness. Does that help at all?"
3 Aug 200445 Jenna Morgan
'Anarchy' is a political term meaning a state without governance rather than a synonym for chaos. Perhaps 'non-being' or a repetition of 'chaos' would be better.
I loved the description of Kohl. The name is wonderful. I've got a image of something like the Egyptian eye of Horus weeping over an arid land. I like the way you've woven human flaws and emotions into the gods whilst keeping them larger than life. And they all have lovely, resonant names.
'flora and fauna' - I think this was what got me going on Latinate words. Somehow this phrase always makes me think of a little Victorian naturalist, in wire-rimmed glasses, pinning butterflies to a board. If that's the setting for the rest of the book feel free to throw drawing pins at me.
I like the idea of Chaos having an unwieldy power.
I really like the idea of the Protector. I'm going to like this story, I think.
The history lesson at the end doesn't really fit with the creation myth but it's interesting and I can see why you would have put it in if this was originally intended as a prologue.
'fate is a whimsical thing, and does not always deliver in the expected package.' - I'd stop after 'whimsical thing.' It's a nice concluding image and already implies the last phrase.
btw I think this is the longest comment I've ever left. Not sure if that's good or bad.

:-) Ben Cameron replies: "First of all, you're incredible.

Second, I have no problem with nitpicks. Bring 'em on! 12

Third, sorry for not replying to this for so long. I just got back from holidays.

Fourth, (and now I'll begin replying to your comments), you're right about it being an oral history. I'd never thought of avoiding the Romance / latinate words - that'll be incredibly useful.

I love the name Kohl too. I actually saw it in it's correct usage (essentially a medieval and egyptian eye-liner) and figured it sounded pretty cool, so I wrote it down and a year or so later, found it when I was writing my creation legend. Similar anecdotes for the rest of my names in any story of mine.

Sorry, off an a tagent there. Thanks for the hints and advice, there. They will be incorporated. And this was a great comment - I have no problem with nitpicking, general observations, useless facts (like what kohl originally was), anything really: it's all good."
3 Aug 200445 Jenna Morgan
Do you mind me being picky? If so, please delete all this. I really like this but I've just spent a couple of hours ripping apart my own attributes-of-the-Gods thing and I've learnt some things that might help here.
Is this a written history or something which has been handed down orally? You'll need to vary your register accordingly. I'm going to take a risk and assume this is an oral tradition. Anything which has to be memorised will be packed with memory aids - you've got this in your descriptions of the gods which is fantastic - each description follows the same pattern - name, attributes, creations, destructiveness. The language you used seems more modern, though - it sounds like written language rather than spoken language. In English, there's a really good trick for making things sound more ancient. Try to avoid Latinate words. Most of them didn't get absorbed into English until Elizabethan times so if you stick with Anglo-Saxon words it instantly sounds older. For instance in your second paragraph you use 'contributed', 'intrinsic' and 'immobility.' Check the dictionary and you'll see they're all from the 15th and 16th centuries. In your description of Kohl, however, the only Latin words you've used are 'nature' and 'oceans' (which are both used in medieval times) and this section feels more than like something spoken. For historical reasons words absorbed at this time are more likely to be used formally and in technical or highbrow contexts. I'm really obsessive about this sort of thing and I'm in the habit of checking any word which sounds too modern for my setting. It only takes a second and you get a feel for it after a while and it really adds to the texture of your language.
Right, onto the story itself.

Onwards, then.
25 Aug 2005:-) James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood
Heh, reminded me of the Zelda games...I dunno why. It's an intriguing start, explains the current situation and hints of things to come...I'd say more but I'm getting sleepy.
22 Oct 2005:-) B. Layne Weaver
Nice little set up you have here. I can't remember if I read this the first time I started reading OHaE or not, but it certainly tells of a rich history.

On I go to begin the tale! (again... and I'll finish it this time!!)
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'Of Humans and Elves, Creation Legend':
 • Created by: :-) Ben Cameron
 • Copyright: ©Ben Cameron. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Creation, Promised
 • Categories: Demons, Imps, Devils, Beholders..., Elf / Elves, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 413

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