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Stories / Stories / Ben Cameron / Text 29 of 29 / The Song of the Elves (poem)

"The Song of the Elves (poem)" by Ben Cameron

SciFi/Fantasy text 29 out of 29 by Ben Cameron. ←Previous - Next→

A continuation in the theme of 'Guardian', this poem relates the abbreviated story of what happened to the elves.

Updated: 1/1/2004

←- Of Humans and Elves - A Bardic Tale | An Imposed Sanity -→

Hidden away in forests of gold

Hidden so deep ev’n time couldn’t learn

Of their home veiled by tree and fern

Yet for eons their story’s been told

The story of the elves

As shimmering mists wind through the trees,

And streams’ reflect the night time moonlight

Giant redwoods tower out of sight

And songs of elves float on the breeze

The home of the elves

It’s unknown how the bards knew such things

Of elfin despairs and their elations

To hand it down through generations

But one story never left their strings

The fall of the elves

For the elves no longer exist here

Their presence will never again grace the Earth.

Colossal trees are of normal girth,

The mists long gone and the streams are clear

The home of the elves

In a tale bards forgot through shame

Man hunted down and murdered the elves;

They wanted no ruler, save themselves.

Thus for this slaughter must man take blame

The death of the elves

But one thing man failed to achieve

One part of the elves not quite gone

One part of the elves left to live on

When the wind blows through the leaves

The song of the elves

←- Of Humans and Elves - A Bardic Tale | An Imposed Sanity -→

Date	Name	Comment
17 Feb 2004	Gabs Béland	Loading... sniffle very sad!! oh, this is so sad..so much emotion...very good! it would be great with music...hmm... I really like this...especially the ending...its bittersweet...very good Ben Cameron replies: "I find my poetry a little embaressing, but I'm glad what you read encouraged you to keep reading! You're right on the idea of music to this - unfortunately, my music ability is about on par with my skills at juggling sharpened knives on fire. Not very high!"
22 Feb 2004	Jamie A. Hughes	Loading... Now that I can leave a comment, I shall grrr...stupid html breakdowns! I found this piece melodious and almost epic. The "repeating" line at the end of each stanza really brought me back to center every time my mind wandered/wondered around in each group of thought. There are some minor meter problems, but Ben I honestly don't want to mention them. I feel like I would be berating a really beautiful bit of verse! If you like, we can talk about that later, but I think this piece is simply charming. Well done. Ben Cameron replies: "Ah, yea. Poetry and I have never got along nicely. I almost feel like I have to beat it out when I'm trying to write one. Accordingly, thanks for the praise! Feel free to email me the meter problems - this is one piece of poetry that I actually like, so any help would be much appreciated. Thanks for the comment - I'm so happy you like it!"
8 May 2004	L. Shanra Kuepers	Loading... I did mean those lines, yes. Most of it is a pet peeve, I guess, but for some poems it -really- doesn't work. I'd have to read both versions of this to be completely sure, to be honest. ^-^; Ben Cameron replies: "Ah, yes - I have a few of those pet peeves too. I'll go check out the difference in changing the lines - thanks."
8 May 2004	L. Shanra Kuepers	Loading... Rhyming poem! Rondeau-esque poem! ^-^ dances happily Er... yes, sorry, I just really like the style of repeating or near repeating a line or two, like in a rondeau. ^-^ tsks at the html You didn't mean for those lines to be there as such, did you? I always find this formatting on EW and I always find that in 99% of the cases it makes the poem stand much MUCH less powerful than it would without. This... part of the 99%, imo. ^-^;; That said and done, it's sad and very, very poignant. Tis quite good, although despite my love for repeating some of the lines seemed a bit off. It might be the difference in syllables in the foregoing line. Not sure. :/ Poems are hard to critique. I like the imagery though, it comes through very clearly and vividly ^-^ It's quite beautiful and I like it very much. Good job! And just feel free to ignore me completely. ^-^ Ben Cameron replies: "Which lines do you mean? If you meant those between each individual line, yup, I did mean for them to be there. I was aiming for a physical sense of space, and to make the reader slow down whilst reading it. I understand what you mean, though - I'll take a closer look once I get the time and check it out. I do agree that the syllable count is off in a few of these, though I have been trying to work that out. My latest poem, Defense of Melchior, has those all ironed out. I have yet any need to ignore anything you've said - everything has been either accurate, or quite valid. It's great having a reader who leaves such incisive comments - you're welcome around here anytime!"
12 May 2004	Laura J. Korska	Loading... I have no critiques. This is beautiful, damn those humans! I really like the repetitive line at the end of each verse, I never have been able to write poetry like that. Lovely poem! Ben Cameron replies: "Thanks for the comment! We humans can be quite destructive... that was one of the things I was trying to imply throughout the poem, so it's great you picked it up."
18 Jun 2004	Joslyn Rubin	Loading... Wow! I love it. Its beautiful and a bit sad. I liked the end. It proved that even if u try to drive something away the memory will always exist. didnt find anything wrong with it. Ta-ta!
14 Sep 2004	Larry N. Morris	Loading... Wow. This proves that I am no poet. I've tried it before and found I should stick to novels. hee hee The poem on my shelf is only the second one I've ever written and will most likely be the last.
18 Jan 2005	Larry N. Morris	Loading... As you said in an earlier reply--the mood does strike sometimes. I don't usually write poetry either. This one has the epic feel I tried to give my first poem. However it was my second (just posted) that got the MC. (shrugs Go figure.
8 Jul 2005	Zack M. Kessler	Loading... wow -- THATS HOT!!!!! i like it a lot. its so sad tho... its a good bed time story almost heheheh evil sinister babysitter laugh
1 Jan 2012	Quinsen arce	Loading... why did man kill the elves?
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